Limits

Monday morning came as Monday mornings are prone to. Karen rolled over sleepily and hit the snooze button on her alarm clock. She had been awakened from a wonderful dream featuring Jude, herself and the Beacon Fell woods and she was loth to part from it. However the dream, once broken, wouldn't return and she had to make a start on the day. Idly, she wondered what Jude was doing. She had talked about an early start; would she already be out pounding the beat? She and Jude had been together barely a week, and already she was beginning to hate the police shift system. Why couldn't Jude work a nine-to-five job like normal people? In just one short weekend she had got used to waking up next to someone and, right now, she felt alone, and wanted an early morning cuddle. Still, regrets wouldn't get her to work, so she slipped out of bed, grabbed her dressing gown and went down to the kitchen to make herself breakfast.

Breakfast over, she went to the bathroom and started her morning ablutions. When she looked in the bathroom mirror, to her consternation, she saw that she was still wearing the necklace. Over the weekend it had become part of her, it was what she wore and, the previous night, in her exhausted state, she had completely forgotten about the need to remove it before going to work. Suddenly it seemed unmissable, completely obvious to all and sundry. The side featuring the ornate 'k' was hardly innocent and the other side, with its clear statement that she was Jude's property, left nothing to the imagination. Urgently she pulled it round to look at the padlock but, as on Saturday, however she looked at it, it was staying firmly shut. It would appear that it was going to remain around her neck, and she surely couldn't go to work like that. She went down to the kitchen, found her handbag and, inside that, her mobile phone. Now that the question of what Jude was doing was no longer idle speculation, she needed her to come round and unlock the necklace and the sooner the better.

"Hi honey, good morning. What's up?" Jude sounded bright and sunny as she answered the phone.

"Jude, please, you've got to come round. I... We... I'm still wearing the necklace and you've got the only key. I've got to take it off before I go to work," Karen explained breathlessly.

"Oh dear," Karen could hear the amusement in Jude's voice, "that's going to be a bit difficult."

"Jude! Please don't muck around. Please, this is important."

"I'm not mucking around. It really is going to be difficult. At this moment I'm just approaching Wigan station on my way to a training course in Hendon. I'm away for the week, didn't I tell you?"

"Jude, please, stop joking," Karen said urgently.

"Honey, I'm not joking," and, right on cue, Karen heard the Tannoy in the background, as the conductor announced the arrival of the train at Wigan station.

"What do I do?" Karen asked, close to tears.

"I'm not sure I know what to suggest," Jude replied, suddenly practical. "Look, I do understand and, if you feel you have to cut it then," Karen could hear Jude's sigh down the phone, "well, as I said, I'll understand."

"Cut it...?"

"Yeah, with pliers or some such. If you do one of the links round at the back then it shouldn't be too hard to get it fixed."

Karen was both relieved and horrified. It was easy to tell that the necklace was no cheap trinket; and here was Jude, however reluctantly, suggesting that she mutilate it. On the other hand she would at least be able to get to work.

"Thanks. Thanks Jude, I'll try not to do too much damage." Karen felt as if she could breathe again.

"See, told you I understood. So, did you sleep well?" Jude was obviously chatty.

"Like a baby. I did miss you though." Karen wasn't making this one up. It was strange how quickly she had become used to sleeping with Jude and, conversely, how alone she felt when Jude wasn't there.

"I had to catch the six thirty from Preston so it really wouldn't have worked out. You're going to have to miss me tonight as well, and every night until Friday."

"You should have told me." Karen was disappointed and couldn't keep the reprimand from her voice.

"Sorry, hun, I thought I had. Anyway I'll phone you often, starting with lunchtime today. I'm not sure when they'll let us out for lunch so it could be any time between twelve and one."

"I'll be waiting." Karen glanced at the clock. If she didn't hurry up she would be late and she had lost enough time fussing about the necklace. "Jude, I've got to go or I'll miss my bus."

"OK, just make sure you're waiting for my call later."

"Bye. I love you."

There was a silence as they both realised what Karen had just said.

"I miss you too, honey," Jude replied eventually, "bye."

And with that the call was ended.

Karen now had to bustle about to get ready as time was getting on. The first thing she had to do was to deal with the necklace. She went down to the kitchen to find the pliers in the small box of tools she kept in the cupboard under the sink. She took them back to her dressing table and sat down. Once again she turned the necklace around until the clasp was at the front and, choosing a suitable link, manoeuvred the pliers around it. The gold of the necklace sparkled in the morning sunlight streaming in through the window. It really was a fine piece of jewellery, no cheap trinket, and it was almost criminal to treat it so. More than that, it felt as if by cutting the chain she'd also be cutting a link with Jude and she surely didn't want that. She started to squeeze the pliers but she couldn't go through with it, she simply couldn't. There had to be way that she could keep it whole; if she couldn't take it off maybe she could find something to hide it, a scarf, a polo neck sweater, anything. With a sigh she put down the pliers.

By now she really was running out of time.She was increasingly flustered as she went over to her wardrobe to search for something suitable. Urgently she riffled back and forth through her clothes until she found a blouse with a high neckline made of lace which seemed to fit the bill. She tried it on and found that, although you could still see the gold chain glinting through, it looked like any other necklace. The tag wasn't visible and she wasn't announcing her 'slavery' to all and sundry. The only problem was the conservative cut of the blouse. She looked like a librarian. And it wasn't just the blouse, her boring knee length skirt wasn't helping matters either. She looked back at her wardrobe and began to see it through Jude's eyes. Not only was there no other suitable blouse but everything item she owned was "sensible" and "practical". Years of clothes shopping that rated machine washability over style had taken their toll and she had nothing that could be considered 'sexy' or stylish. Even her Sunday best was just that, more suitable for going to church than for going out on a date. Nowadays she wanted to look her best, not for herself but for Jude, even if they weren't going to meet that day. Much as she desperately needed to update her collection she wondered how; she had never been any good at choosing clothes for herself.

And then there was the moot point of underwear. She'd omitted a bra when testing the blouse and it seemed silly to waste time taking it off just to put on a garment she wasn't sure she wanted to wear. As for panties, a certain amount of cramping from 'down there' told her that she'd soon be wearing them, Jude or no Jude but, for today, she'd dress the way her Mistress wanted her to, maybe tucking a spare pair in her handbag just in case. Finished at last, she grabbed her handbag and dashed for the bus stop barely in time to catch the eight twenty.

Half an hour later she was at her desk, early into the office despite the morning's delays.

"Morning boss." Mel announced her arrival as she came through the door and, instead of going to her booth walked over to Karen's desk.

"Good morning, Mel." Karen replied with a smile. She glanced at the clock on the wall. "Are you feeling OK? It's not like you to be on time to work."

"Hey, less of the cheek. Anyway my boss told me being late wasn't being fair on the others so I... well, here I am bright eyed and bushy tailed." Mel actually looked embarrassed. "Look, do me a favour and give my Lucy a call, will you. She's been on tenterhooks since Saturday and if she doesn't get all the goss soon she's going to explode. By the way, is that Jude's necklace I see peeking through your collar?"

"Is it... is it obvious?" Karen asked, reaching for her throat.

"Is it obvious you're wearing a necklace? Only if you look. Is it obvious you're wearing a 'slave' collar, nah, I only guessed what it was because I saw you wearing it on Saturday and I've never seen you in a high necked blouse before. I put two and two together and judging by your blushes it seems that I guessed right."

"Jude went off to Hendon for the week and I'm stuck with it," Karen confessed. "She's not back until Friday."

"Really! Wow, what a hoot!" Mel couldn't help but laugh. "Little miss prim and proper stuck with Jude's necklace all week. I hope you have enough high- necked blouses. I'm not sure you want this lot to find out that their boss wears a collar announcing that she's another woman's slave."

Karen was a little taken aback to be described as 'little miss prim and proper' but she guessed she deserved it. However Mel's joking brought home to her how much she hadn't thought it through. She had been so pleased to have found something for that day she hadn't bargained on having to find something else for tomorrow and Wednesday, and Thursday and....

"Oh my gosh! I've only got this one blouse with a high neck. What am I going to do tomorrow, or Wednesday? I need to go shopping. I'll have to go after work. Would... would you help?" Karen was amazed at herself for even asking such a thing, but after Friday Mel didn't seem so distant, so aloof.

"Me! You're asking the wrong person. I'd be useless; I've no fashion sense at all. Why don't you ask Lucy? A bit of clothes shopping; she'll be in seventh heaven."

"Thanks, Mel. I'll do that."

"Well, best be getting on. I don't want to upset the boss by being late to my desk." Mel gave a huge wink and turned towards her workstation. "And don't forget to call Lucy," she called over her shoulder as she left.

Lunchtime found Karen sitting in the park waiting for Jude's phone call. When it didn't come shortly after noon, Karen surmised that Jude wouldn't be free until twelve thirty and went to the  corner shop to buy some sandwiches. She was just polishing them off when her mobile rang.

"So, did you cut the necklace off?" Jude asked after the usual greetings.

"No, I couldn't," Karen replied.

"Couldn't? What, didn't you have any pliers?"

"No, it wasn't like that, I just couldn't do it," Karen confessed. "It didn't seem right."

"Oh sweetie! So you're wearing it now?" Karen could almost feel Jude's smile down the phone.

"Yes. I found a suitable blouse, one with a high neck and...."

"And all those women you work with have no idea that their boss is sitting there wearing my slave collar." Karen could hear the amusement in Jude's voice. "How deliciously naughty! I'll bet they don't know you're knickerless either; you are knickerless, aren't you?"

"Yes, Mistress."

"I should jolly well hope so," Jude replied in mock severity. "Well, well, well, no panties and collared at work, there's a turn up for the books."

Karen wanted to tell Jude how much it meant to her to be wearing the necklace but Jude's frivolity made it difficult. It was like when the 'love' word had slipped out earlier and Jude had all but ignored it. Karen wondered just how much this was whether Jude wouldn't or couldn't be serious about their relationship.

"I miss you," she compromised.

"I miss you too," Jude replied. "I'm stuck down here learning about crowd control during the day and I'll be all alone in a lousy hotel tonight. We're supposed to meet up and go out boozing but... a pub crawl with a bunch of coppers... I think I'll give it a miss. Mind you, I'm sure that if you were here with me we could find some ways to pass the time."

"I wish you'd told me you were going."

"Sorry, I thought I had. Maybe you should give me a spanking when I get back to teach me not to be so forgetful."

"Jude!" Somehow the thought of spanking Jude just seemed so wrong.

"What?" Jude replied. "I'll always be your Mistress but it's fun to swap roles occasionally. Wouldn't you like to spank my tush?"

And so it continued. Jude was flirty and frivolous; making light of it all and having fun. Karen's mood was more sombre. She wanted to tell Jude what was in her heart but couldn't find the space. Jude's flippancy seemed to crowd out any chance of serious conversation. Was that just her way or was it how she really felt about their relationship? Karen had never meant to say 'I love you' but at least it gave some indication of how she felt; a little reciprocation wouldn't do any harm.

And, when the phone call was over, as she walked back to the office, Karen felt as if there was a distance between them, a distance that was more than just the physical two hundred miles that parted them. She had wanted to talk about their relationship and Jude had just wanted to flirt and tell her off for having no panties on. She was sure she was more than just a notch in Jude's bedpost-- but how much more? When the chips were down what did Jude want with her and, equally, what did she want from Jude? Karen had never felt this strongly about anyone before and she was scared to realisehow dependant she was becoming.

And then there was the whole kinky sex thing. She remembered Frankie's words from the club. It was hard to tell how much Jude wanted her as a partner and how much Jude just wanted a playmate in the bedroom. One moment Jude was caring and compassionate; the next she was pressing her to go one step further than she wanted. How much would Jude tolerate it if she put up too much resistance? And, as Jude kept upping the ante, would they reach a breaking point? Would Jude get bored with her and look for someone more adventurous?

Karen reached for the necklace around her throat and told herself not to be so stupid. There was a closeness, a genuine connection between them. Anyway, on Sunday, she had accepted, albeit reluctantly, Karen's limits. This had to be more than just a fling. Just because Jude was slow to show her feelings didn't mean she didn't have any.

She was halfway back to the office when she remembered that she had yet to phone Lucy. She reached for her mobile and, as Mel had prophesied, Lucy was delighted at the prospect of going clothes shopping. Enthusiastically she suggested that they meet up in the St George's Mall after work. Most of the shops were open until eight, which would give them a couple of hours’ shopping before, at Lucy's suggestion, having a bite together at the West Coast burger bar. Karen asked about where Mel would eat. Lucy replied firmly that 'she knows where the can opener is; she can look after herself for a change'.

So it was that at four forty-five Karen found Lucy waiting impatiently outside the main entrance to the mall. They had barely hugged their hellos before Lucy was demanding details of Karen's weekend with Jude.

"And don't try and fob me off with coyness," Lucy demanded. "I want all the gory details, all the goss. After all, it's me that brought the two of you together so it's the least I deserve."

Karen was keen to talk. She had much on her mind and she had found Lucy to be the best sort of listener. However, walking around the shops wasn't the place to try to explain the ins and outs of her concerns, so she asked if they could wait until they stopped to eat. Lucy was torn between her love of shopping and her desire to hear all the gossip, but time was running out so they headed off into the mall.

Lucy, like Jude, had no time for Marks and Sparks or British Home Stores, let alone Primark, but headed straight for the boutiques aimed at the younger market. Karen started to protest but Lucy was adamant and firmly insistent. She scoured the racks, picking out item after item before heading for the changing rooms. Karen couldn't believe that this young and trendy selection was intended for her until a 'come along then' made her realise that Lucy was waiting for her at the changing rooms. Together they squeezed into a cubicle and Karen tried on the first blouse.

Lucy was a harsh critic and Karen had to try on several blouses before they found one that reached her high standards. Karen felt that most of Lucy's choices were too young and too frivolous, especially for office wear. She was, after all, the supervisor and was expected to look the part. Lucy, on the other hand, had other ideas and all Karen's objections were just brushed aside. Finally Lucy deemed one of the blouses acceptable but when Karen looked at herself in the mirror....

"I can't wear this, you can see my nipples!" she exclaimed.

"No you can't, well, not much anyway, not unless you're looking for them," Lucy replied. "Anyway it looks perfect on you and it covers the necklace well."

Despite her qualms Karen had to admit that the cut of the blouse was flattering to her figure, making the most of what breasts she had.

"OK, we'll take it," Karen conceded at last. "If we get three more of these then we're done."

"Three more of the same? Are you crazy?" Lucy was horrified. "There's a whole mall full of stuff out there and you want four identical blouses! Not while I'm in charge."

Again Karen found out just how much Lucy was in charge. Once she had got the shopping bug Lucy was unstoppable.  Before they were done they must have been to every store in the mall and it was nigh on eight o'clock. Karen had never in her life bought so much in one go but she had to admit that, with Lucy's guidance, she had gone a long way to revolutionising her wardrobe. Along with the blouses had come matching skirts and a dress, all of which were far trendier than Karen was used to. Famished and laden down with shopping bags, the two exhausted women made their way to The West Coast burger bar and settled into a booth.

"OK, I've waited long enough. I want to know every detail. Last thing I saw was you chasing after Jude as she left the Adelphi. I gather you caught up with her. What did she say?"

Prompted by Lucy, Karen told all about how she had made up with Jude, how they had spent Saturday night together and how they had gone to Beacon Fell on Sunday. Lucy wouldn't settle for less than all the details and, somehow, it helped Karen to talk about them. In particular discussing the various games they had played as if they were completely normal helped Karen to allay her ever- present concerns about what she was getting involved with. Years of 'nice girls don't do that' were being eroded by the plain and simple fact that Lucy, evidently a nice girl, did do that. Sure, Karen was still having problems seeing the person before her as the same person who would gleefully submit to anal rape, but there she was discussing how much stinging nettles hurt and the times she had had it done to her. Lucy made her friend gasp with a story of when Mel had used stinging nettles between her legs and it had all been a bit too much. "That's where Beth comes in handy. It's useful having a doctor as a friend. She's the one that recommended using antihistamines. Anyway, as far as I'm concerned, half the fun of stinging nettle play is using the cream afterwards."

"So, this training course she's on," Lucy continued. "When's she back?"

"Friday, but I'm not sure what time," Karen replied. "About Friday...."

"Looking forward to it, are you?"

"Well, it's a bit difficult."

"How so?" Lucy was concerned by her friend's obvious nervousness. "What's the problem?"

"Lucy, when you and Beth... I mean... when she... when you... Look, I can't...."

"You can't what?" Lucy asked gently.

"It's the group sex thing. OK, call me a prude but I can't get off on it. It doesn't feel right."

"So you don't want us to come back after the club?"

"Of course I do! I want you all to come and I don't even mind us all being naked except... well, I'm not happy making love with anyone else but Jude," Karen said quite firmly.

"I'm not sure that what we do on Friday evenings comes under the heading of 'making love'," Lucy said thoughtfully. "Making love is what Mel and I do when we're alone together. Friday nights are more about having fun with a few close friends."

"Please, Lucy," Karen was getting quite upset by her friend's apparent lack of understanding. "A couple of weeks ago I'd never been in any sort of relationship and, for sure, no one had ever seen me naked. I certainly never even dreamed I'd be... be... doing the things we do. Now, all of a sudden, I'm having a hard enough time coming to terms with the fact my boyfriend is a girlfriend. I'm trying to be open-minded but... the whole group sex thing is too much for me. I'm sorry, I really am, but I can't help the way I feel."

"Hey, it's OK," Lucy replied, concerned at the growing anxiety evident on Karen's face. "Look, we all have limits and we all respect each other. No one's going to make you do anything you don't want to. It's going to make things a little complicated but we'll work round it. Shame though, I was looking forward to kissing that pretty little pussy of yours."

"Lucy!" Karen was horrified. "That's exactly what I mean. I don't feel happy with anybody touching me like that, well, anyone but Jude."

"OK, OK, I was only joking. Seriously, everyone is really pleased that Jude has found somebody and we love having you as our friend. We'll work it out, one way or another. You may find that Andy has one or two things to say but that's just her way. She's really nice once you get to know her."

"Oh, and there's another thing...."

"Another thing?" Lucy asked.

"It's my time of the month. I may not be ready for any sexy stuff by Friday; I'll probably still be a bit yucky."

"Come on, we're all girls together, we all understand that one. It comes up all the time. There are plenty of ways you can still join in, if you want to. If you don't then, well, we'll miss you but we'll understand."

"Thanks, Lucy, thank you for being so understanding." Karen was relieved that her fears were being allayed.

"Hey, don't be silly," Lucy replied. "It's great to have you with us." She reached over and gave Karen a hug. "Oh! Am I still allowed to do that?" she joked.

Karen blushed but didn't push Lucy away.

That night Karen and Jude spent hours on the phone just chatting. Karen was keen to tell all about how she had gone shopping with Lucy and Jude seemed keen to listen. Indeed, when Jude finally brought the call to an end Karen was amazed to find out how late it was. As she took herself off to bed she felt a bit happier than she had earlier. Jude had been understanding, compassionate, loving. OK, so, naturally, there had been some sexy flirting, it wouldn't be Jude without, but Karen had felt more like a partner and less like a one night stand.

And, as she tidied up the house and got ready for bed, she realised how much she was missing Jude. Her house, her little house, for so long her safe little hideaway, now felt empty. She felt an almost physical need to have Jude there, to look after her, to pamper her, to be her helpmeet and then, later, it would be Jude's turn to do the looking after.

Monday turned into Tuesday turned into Wednesday and, as the week passed, Karen found she was looking more and more towards the weekend. Jude had confirmed that they usually got let out of the course around midday, which meant she could catch the two o'clock from Euston and be home in time for the evening meal. Jude told Karen that she would pick her up from her house and that they would go out to eat together before going on to the club. Karen noted that, as ever, Jude was taking charge and making decisions for both of them. However she didn't demur.

All the while Karen was finding that there were subtle changes happening at work. On Tuesday, the first day in the new clothes she had purchased with Lucy, she had felt nervous when she looked at herself in the mirror before setting off but, once she got used to it, she found herself walking taller and more confidently. She got an extra boost when Mel came in.

"Hello, sexy," she said as she came over to Karen's desk.

"Do I... do I look OK?" Karen replied uncertainly.

"If I weren't in a committed relationship...," Mel started but, seeing the look on Karen's face, she quickly backed off with, "Only joking." And, with a quick wink, went off to her desk.

For all her boost in confidence, came the weekly staff meeting, there were still enough trouble makers among her staff to ensure that she had little respect and, once again, she found herself tongue tied. She tried to make a plea about following the rules on smoking breaks but it was pretty feeble and, as soon as the meeting was over, she saw them going off, flaunting the rules as ever. As she put together the weekly performance statistics, again there was no improvement and she knew she was in for a hard time from Susan, her supervisor.

And then, at last it was Friday. Karen felt on a high all day. In a matter of a few hours she would be seeing Jude again and the very thought made her heart sing. It felt good to feel good; after all the years of loneliness the anticipation of being with someone special was a new feeling. It wasn't just that she was no longer dreading the long lonely weekends, she knew that in a few short hours she'd be with Jude and that was all she wanted.

"Morning, Boss," Mel said as she came in the office. "Someone's in a good mood this morning. Would that have anything to do with a certain police constable returning home?"

Karen just smiled, blushing slightly.

"Looking forward to some hot sex tonight, are we?" Mel went on as she came over to chat.

"Please, Mel!" Karen said aghast. "Keep your voice down. Anyway I can't; I've got my monthlies."

For a moment they just paused, each amazed that Karen had been so candid.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to embarrass you." Karen started.

"Hey, it's OK, really." Mel reassured her. "You'd need to do far more than that to embarrass me. Remember, I've seen you naked."

Karen and Mel looked at each other and burst out laughing. There was something about her down-to-earth ways and her no nonsense language that made Mel refreshing and good to have around. Karen remembered that she had originally been scared of her. Now there was something more like mutual respect.

And then, as soon as it was four-thirty, Karen was off, back home and straight up to her bedroom to get ready. She had a quick bath and then went to her dressing table to put on her makeup and do her hair. She wanted to look her best, she wanted to look pretty; she wanted to be everything that Jude desired. She ran her fingers through her hair; there was nothing wrong with it per se but it was so dull. There wasn't much she could do about the colour but the cut was as boring as her clothes had been before Lucy had had her way. Still, she would do what she could.

She put on the dress that Jude had given her. Its open neckline showed off the necklace but, now she was not at work, this was what she wanted. She was proud to announce to the world that she was Jude's. As she sat at her dressing table brushing her hair, she could see the dog tag glinting. For all her fears that it seemed to scream out to the world her perverse and degraded status, she was stuck with it. If she were being realistic, she had to admit that you had to look quite closely to read the words on the tag and, around town of an evening, she'd be safe with Jude.

Her phone burst into life and the screen showed '1 message received'. It was, inevitably, from Jude saying that she was just setting off and would arrive in ten minutes. Karen's heart raced. She fussed around the house tidying, rearranging, anything until, finally, there was a knock on the door and, through the frosted glass she could see the figure of her lover. She rushed down the hallway, opened the door and let her in.

Jude grabbed Karen, pushed her back into the house, spinning her against the wall and pinning her there. Without a single word she took Karen's face in her hands and kissed her long and hard. Then Jude gathered her in and Karen felt her knees weaken as Jude's strong arms took her, held her, squeezed her. She felt herself surrender, she gave herself up and let Jude do her will. However as Jude reached for the hem of her dress, as her hand moved up Karen's thigh, reality returned.

"You're wearing panties. Have you been a naughty girl or does that mean that...?" Jude let the question hang.

"Sorry," Karen replied. "Aunty Flo is in town. Maybe tomorrow."

"Oh well. It doesn't stop me kissing you." Jude led Karen into the lounge, laid her on the sofa and climbed on top. "God I've missed you," she sighed before showing how much in more physical ways. It was a full half hour before they broke apart. 

"I hope you're hungry," Jude said. "There's a new Italian just off the Fishergate. I've booked for seven thirty."

"Seven thirty? But it's only just gone six now." Karen responded. "What shall we do in the meantime?"

"I'm sure I'll think of something. Now where were we?" She said as she resumed kissing.

It was almost time to go when Jude finally released Karen from her clutches and Karen nearly panicked when she saw herself in the mirror over the fireplace. Her hair was all over the place and, as for her makeup; it needed reapplying from scratch. Despite Jude's impatience, Karen insisted on going up to her room to repair the damage until, at last, they set off for town.

Karen felt as if she was walking on air. Maybe it was the way Jude looked at her and fussed over her but she felt pretty as a picture in her new dress and shoes and, hand in hand with her lover, she was proud and happy as they made their way to the restaurant and later on to the club. And then, when they got there, she was now part of the crowd, greeted with warmth and friendliness. For the first time in ages she felt as if she belonged.