MAN OF SHADOW

by Dorothy Strangelove

PART ONE

HAVE YOU EVER HAD THE FEELING THAT SOMETHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN ?

I'm asking because I was once like you, sitting on my own in this pub thinking the world is black and white with nothing inbetween. But I know differently now, and I'm going to tell you a story that's true :

There's a place between what is real and unreal and if the timing is right the two can blur into one and magic can happen. I'm talking about that feeling of electricity sparking as if it's on your skin, like the air around you is alive and you know that something will happen. But it's so fleeting if you blink you miss it - if you don't blink, if you hold that moment anything is possible -  and this is where my story begins. I've seen a ghost. He looked as real as you and I. He was warm, I know because his skin was touching mine. I've had sex with him. That's not a cue for you to ask me all about the sex, that's just a part of it and I have a tale to tell. So I'll start at the beginning, on a cold, dark november night not long after halloween, when I was sitting alone in a pub, drinking yet another brandy when a very different kind of spirit took my attention away from the liquid fire in my glass......

Halloween had nothing to do with it really. That had been last week. It was just a november night.  I was sitting alone by the window watching the rain fall, glad I was in the warm pub with the brandy making me  even warmer. I was slowly getting drunk, not because I was a careful drinker but because my money was running out and I didn't want to go home yet.  I lived with someone who had long ago stopped being my partner.  It was an effort to be civil let alone polite and the sex had ended years ago. I was thirty one years old and still attractive - I often attracted men but they were usually the sort I would have fought off drunk or sober. My only consolation  company I found in the bottom of a brandy glass. And that brandy was disappearing. With every sip I was thinking how fast the drink had made the daylight disappear. Last time I looked out the window it had been a grey, late afternoon. Now it was pitch black night and three hours had gone by.

My thoughts shifted back and forth from the cold wet night to the warmth and comfort of the pub. I wished I had waited and come out later instead of wasting half the afternoon working towards my future hangover. Now was the time I should have come out. Then I could have stayed sober, drank slower and waited  - for what, I did'nt know, all I had was the feeling that something was going to happen. I could feel it on my skin, like a prickle of energy that shimmered in the air around me.

I was so aware of the sensation it was enough so sober me up. I wanted what ever this was to carry on. I wanted to take it home with me, to get into my empty bed and let it wash over me like an orgasm. I wanted an orgasm. I wanted a lover. I could see him in my mind, he was young and passionate with the bluest eyes I'd ever seen and he would run his hands all over my body and spread my legs and fuck me like the world was about to end and this was all the time he had left. I was holding onto that thought so vividly I was aching between my legs and I could feel myself getting moist and starting to swell up.If  I had been at home I would have squeezed my thighs together to ease it a little, then given into my urge and laid back with my hand between my legs and satisfied myself . But it would'nt have been enough tonight. I was thinking of a man I did'nt know, a stranger who had existed only in a sexual fantasy and I was hurting for him to penetrate me.

While I was thinking all this I was looking into the amber pool inside my glass. Then I heard noise coming from the arcade game across the room. He either kicked the machine or punched it. He swore loudly, then carried on swearing under his breath for a moment. And I knew that if I looked round at him, I would see the man in my fantasy. I knew he would be handsome with the bluest eyes I had ever seen. I knew he was already looking at me, I knew he wanted me and he would have me. He would take me tightly in his arms while his hand slipped between my legs and he pushed his finger inside me. He would be breathless and whispering in my ear and then he would spread my legs and fuck me like there was no tomorrow. I knew all this before I ever turned my head.  I took a sip from my glass and looked across the room. As our eyes met the moment seemed so unreal I wondered if I was looking at living proof of the existance of magic. How could he have been in my mind's eye, a figment of a sexually charged fantasy and then here, standing across the room, as real as I was? As I wondered about it a chill seemed to sigh through the bar and I heard the door rattle as the wind tested it. Almost as if a higher power was reminding me that some things were never meant to be explained. I could'nt take my gaze away from him. He was so handsome he was perfect, looked young, no older than twenty five.  And he was looking at me like he wanted me too. I felt my face getting warmer. This was a first for me. It took a great deal for me  to turn shy and blushing. I was actually stuck for words. That was another first. I looked back at my drink, still feeling flustered I reached for my ciggarettes, only to find I had no lighter. Now my face was really going red. I was looking at the ciggarette as I held it to my lips feeling stupid.

And then a light was in front of me and I gratefully took it.

"Thank you."

What a gentleman. I was instantly warming to him even though I still couldn't believe this was happening.

He was standing beside me. He put the lighter back in his coat pocket and leaned a bit closer.

"I want to talk to you."He said. He was speaking softly to me, gently. He was making it easy to open up to him.

I looked up at him.

"Okay."

"My name's Max."

"Ruby."I replied, smoking then taking another drink from my glass.

He pulled out a chair and sat down. I was looking across the table at him now. He was even more gorgeous close up. I wasn't used to someone so attractive paying me attention - especially not after a few drinks. Now I wished more than ever I had stayed sober. I wished I'd waited all day, then spent an hour getting ready, prepared for this meeting. But even if I didn't think I looked my best, he still wanted me. And he didn't waste time, either.

"I saw the way you looked at me. I like you too. I think you're beautiful." He lowered his voice. "And I know you  want me."

He was so forward I was lost for words again. He was looking at me like he wanted to go with me now, somewhere, anywhere.....spread my legs and just fuck.

"Slow down."I said quickly, "I do find you attractive but you're a bit young for me.  I want to talk to you for a while. I don't even know you."

"Tell me about yourself."

"I'm thirty one."

That came out first because he was younger than me by several years. It did'nt put him off.

"I'm twenty three."He told me. "Have you got a boyfriend?"

I laughed at that remark. No, I had an arsehole at home who had ceased to be any kind of lover to me many years ago.

"I live with someone."I told him, "But we don't have sex. There's no love there any more. That died years ago. We just live under the same roof. We argue a lot. We should have split up years ago, really. I've had lovers. No one who wanted to stay around or have a proper relationship with me. I haven't found that yet. But I've had some good lovers."

There, I'd said it. I was hoping he saw that as a green light, and he did.

"I'll be your lover."He said, "I can give you what you want, I know what you want."

And the way he said that to me made me believe him. He was being sincere. He had looked at me and in an instant had sensed all the longing inside me. He took hold of my hand.

"Come on, Ruby, we need to go now. I don't have much time."

Impatience was creeping into his voice. As I looked at him I saw an urgency about him, as if his life depended on the orgasm he wanted so badly.

I was honest with him.

"I want to stay here for a while."

Now he was getting annoyed. I saw a flash of anger in his eyes and decided my handsome stranger had a passionate nature with a temper to match.

"If you don't want me I'm going."He said, "I don't like wasting my time on people who wind me up. You're annoying me. Either come with me or don't bother."

"I do want you."I told him, "But I'm enjoying this. I like talking to you. I like your company."

He warmed to me the moment I said that and his eyes lit up and he smiled.

"Thank you it's nice of you to say that."

"Tell me about yourself." I said, "Who are you? I want to get to know you."

"If I told you about myself you'd be surprised,"He told me, "Do you recognise me? Have you seen me somewhere before?"

"No."I told him,"I don't. Should I?"

"It doesn't matter. I think we should go now. I've had enough of this I don't want to talk any more. I told you, I don't have a lot of time. I won't be here tomorrow."

The urgency in his voice made me wonder what was going on. He was impatient - in the kind of hurry that made me wonder if he was in trouble. Maybe he was on the run from the law, that would explain it.  I liked him. If he was in trouble, I wanted to help.

"What's the rush? Tell me what's going on."

"Leave it."He said, "Let's just go."

And his hand closed around my wrist.

"Not yet."I said.

"Yes, now. I've had enough of this place. I want you to come with me."
His grip was tightening around my wrist and I doubted if he realised how hard he was holding onto me.

"Let go, that hurts."

"Sorry."He said and let go of me.

I  made a decision.  I couldn't take him back to my place. But I had a better idea.

"I need you to wait for me."I told him, "I have to go somewhere. I won't be long."

And I walked towards the door. He followed me and took hold of my arm.

"Don't walk away from me. I really like you."

He was pulling me closer and it took all my willpower to resist the urge to lean forward and kiss him.

"Wait for me at the bar. ."

"No, I'm coming with you in case you don't come back."

"I won't be long."I told him, "I'm just going to the ladies and then I'm going to get some money and I'm coming back for you."

And I walked off towards the toilets. Once I was in there I went up to the mirror, ran my fingers through my hair, put on some more lipstick. The ladies toilet was small and lit with a glaring light that reminded me of a changing room, when I looked in the mirror it had the same effect because I knew I could look better than this and I wished I did. Max was the sort of man I would make an effort for. I felt a bit of a mess right now.

And then the door opened. I stared at him. I couldn't believe he had come in here. There were cameras behind the bar, one of them by the toilets. If any of the bar staff had seen him come in we were both about to get thrown out.

"Get out, you shouldn't be in here!"

He took no notice, drawing me into his arms. As he held me firmly I longed for him to kiss me and run his hands over my body but I knew if I did we would end up having sex here on the carpet or up against the wall - I knew we would get caught. I kissed him softly and as his lips touched mine I felt an ache in my vagina. I stepped back.

"Just wait there." I said, and went into the cubicle.

I wasn't expecting him to do what he did. It took me by surprise. He pushed the door and followed me inside, then locked it behind him.

"I want to fuck you now."

I was too stunned to reply. Then I noticed he had got his cock out - I couldn't fail to notice - it was big and solidly erect, looking at it made my mouth water. I wanted to suck it and make him come, to feel his semen pumping out while I swallowed every last drop. I wanted to know what his spunk tasted like. But not in here!

"We can't do it here.."

He took me in his arms. His hand went down my top, he felt my breasts, his hands were warm and his touch was soft. He had a lover's touch that instantly made me long for more. Then he was kissing me, hard and passionate, plunging his tongue deep in my mouth. I pulled back a little.

"We can't do this here. Max, we can't. Not in the toilets.."

"You want me, I know you do."

Max was breathless now, breathing heavy in my ear as he leaned his head on my shoulder. It was the biggest turn on ever to me, I could feel the raw passion coming from him and it was making me desperate for his cock.

He put his hand in my knickers, felt my shaved cunt and then slipped his finger in me. It slid in easily, I was so wet it was running out of me, even the top of my thighs were sticky.

"You liar." He said, "You do want it..just open your legs and let me fuck you."

I kissed him again, wanting to enjoy the moment but I knew if I enjoyed it too much we would have sex here and now and it was too risky. I stepped back.  As his finger slid out of me my vagina was aching for more but I had to ignore that. I straightened up my clothes.

"I'm leaving now."I told him, "I'll come back but you need to wait at the bar for me."

I unlocked the door.

"Give me your number in case you don't come back."

I got my phone out. I could barely recall how to get my number up, I had never bothered to memorise it and the drinks had more than screwed up my number blind brain. He gave me his phone and I tried to put my number in. I couldn't do it, his phone was different to mine and in those days I wasn't very capable with that kind of thing. He took his phone back and looked at it.

"You haven't done it properly."

"I'll do it when I come back."I said, "I won't be long."

And I went to the door.

He caught hold of my wrist again, gripping it hard and I thought, now this will bruise.

"You won't come back.."

"Yes I will!"

"Promise me."He demanded, "Promise me you'll come back."

I looked into his eyes and I felt an ache inside as I suddenly realised just how much I wanted him.

"I promise." I told him, "I'll leave first, then you come out and wait at the bar. I won't be long. Just wait for me."

"I'll never forgive you if you don't come back." He told me.

"I will come back." I said, and then I was gone. I left the pub, hurried up the high street and tried the cash point. It would'nt give me anything. I called a cab and went home, my mind ticking over to manufacture an alibi that would cover me for the night.

I came up with a good one while I was rifling through the kitchen drawer raiding my secret hiding place. I took all of it, a hundred pounds and put it in my bag. I traded insults with my so-called partner saying yes, I know I'm a pisshead. Oh, and a slag as well. But I was going back out because my friend had been in an arguement. She was upset. I may have to stay with her quite late. Maybe all night. Then I changed my shoes. My balance wasn't perfect at the best of times and big spiky heels made it worse. I looked at the time. It was gone nine. My vision was a little blurry. I was still a bit pissed. I made a coffee. I brushed my hair and sprayed it and touched up my make up. As I thought of Max my heart pounded and I wanted to be with him right now. I called a taxi and headed back to the pub, all the way hoping he was still waiting for me.

PART TWO

He was waiting for me. He was outside and as soon as the taxi stopped I called him over.

"Where are we going?"he asked me. As he cuddled up to me I felt him shiver.

"It's so cold tonight." He said, and I held him tighter to warm him up.

"We'll both be warmer soon." I promised him.

We kissed as the taxi drove through the night, as he kissed me harder he took my hand and pressed it between his legs and feeling that hard erection made me ache and soak my knickers again. When we reached our destination I paid the taxi, then I took Max's hand and led him through the doors of the hotel.

"We can stay here tonight."I told him.

I got us a room on the ground floor, it was'nt the best but it had a double bed and a bathroom - all that mattered to me was we had a place to be alone.

As soon as we got into the room he locked the door behind us and grabbed hold of me.

"I want you so much." He said, pushing me down onto the bed.

"I know you do." I replied.  I returned his kisses, ran my fingers through his hair, wrapped my legs around his waist as he pressed his cock against me. We kissed and caressed each other as our clothes became a tangled mess on the floor and we were naked together.

I was hurting with the need for his cock to be in me, buried deep in my warm, swollen vagina. I was lying on my back and he was beside me stroking my face as he looked into my eyes. Now seemed like a good time to ask questions. I had to have answers before I made love with him.

"Tell me what's happened."I said to him, "Please, I have to know."

His blue eyes looked silver in the moonlight as he turned his gaze away from me and looked out the window at the night sky.

He took a deep breath and gave me an answer. "I was in a fight."

"Was it bad?"

"It was bad enough."

He was opening up to me now so I asked some more.

"The police were involved?"

"Yes they were."

"Are they after you?"

"No."He replied, and as he looked at me he saw I was more than a little confused.

"I don't understand."

Max shook his head.

"Don't worry about it. People just get a bit lost sometimes. I've been a bit lost.  I'm going to be alright now. ..it's hard to explain. One minute I was trying to sort something out and then all of a sudden.." He stopped there, blinking back tears as he fell silent leaving me to wonder what had happened. I could'nt work it out. There had been a fight. The police had been called, it had been a bad fight, but he wasn't wanted by the police. Then it fell into place.

"You tried to stop a fight?"

"I can't talk about it.  I don't want to think about it right now."

Then the passion was back in his voice.

"Kiss me."

I kissed him with desire that had been smouldering for him all night. He sucked on my nipples and put his hand between my legs again. I was about to beg him to go down on me when he opened my legs and licked me hard, over and over, taking in all my juices and stroking my clit with a firm rhythm that made me come loudly, I cried out and pushed his face against my throbbing cunt as the orgasm flooded through my body. I was still recovering when he rolled me over and said: "Get on your hands and knees..I'm going to fuck you from behind.."

I liked the way he told me what to do. Every time he forced himself on me it was like being held in a fist covered by a velvet glove.

As I waited for him to take me I opened my legs wider as I wondered which way he was going to take me. Then his cock slid into my vagina and he pushed it in deep.  Every nerve in my body was still tingling and being fucked hard took me to another level, I felt every movement intensified as he thrust inside me. His cock filled me up and as it slid in and out of my wetness I was begging him not to stop.  Then he shoved it in harder and gave a loud gasp as he came inside me. His semen pumped warm into my vagina and he shoved it deep in me one last time, then laid back in my arms. While he got his breath back I cuddled up to him, holding him that little bit tighter because of what he had told me.  We had been lying together in bed for at least twenty minutes just holding each other and enjoying the moment before we spoke again. Then he asked me something.

"Tell me what you're into."

"I like playing games," I told him, "Phone sex first to make it more real, then proper fantasy games. I like to be dominated. Or to dominate."

"How do you like to be dominated?"

Just thinking about it made me wet again.

"Show me you're the boss. Spread my legs and give it to me hard..any way you want to give it to me.. " And then I laughed. "..or I could spank you, but I'd kiss it better afterwards!"

He could tell there was more, he just seemed to know.

"What else?"

"I sometimes like to make things better."

Max laughed and his eyes sparkled playfully.

"How would you do that?"

"You could pretend something hurts and tell me how you got your injury - if it's really bad I'll have to be really dirty to make you better...so you can get aroused and fuck me...so I can be fucked by my wounded hero..."

Max looked at me and said something I wasn't expecting.

"Alright,"He said, "I need you to nurse me back to health. I've go this really bad scar and it hurts."

He had said that like he was deadly serious. Although he was naked I hadn't had time to study every inch of his body and he didn't seem to be playing. I hoped he wasn't serious because I never used real life in my fantasy games, as I didn't like to bring out bad memories - and true stories were not my thing, real life played no part in my games - unless my lover showed me an old scar and used it to make up a story telling me why he needed my attention!

"What scar?"I asked him.

"It's pretty bad. I had loads of stitches...can't you see it? Tell me how you want to make me better." 

As he asked me he slid the sheet off his body. He was already hard again.

I ran my hand down his chest, as I slid it lower I was thinking about spreading his legs and sucking his balls,  then turning him over, my kisses becoming more intimate as my mouth got closer to the crack of his arse, then I would really get down there and be intimate... As I looked in his eyes he seemed to be reading my mind again. It gave me a bit of a jolt.

"You dirty girl."He said teasingly.

How the hell did he know these things?  

He was smiling like he had a secret and he wasn't going to share it.

"What are you?"I asked him,  "Some sort of sex genie?"

I was hoping he would say yes, I am, then fuck me in every position I never knew existed. Or even better, I thought maybe he was some kind of dark angel, a lustful entity that was going to ravish me until I was exhausted...now that would be a fantasy come true! But I was wrong.... 

"I wish."He told me, "I'm nothing so special as that but if you knew what I was you would be surprised. You might even get a shock. I can't tell you, Ruby. You'll find out later."

As he spoke I saw something in his eyes, heard something in his voice that sent a chill down my spine. It was back again, the weird feeling I'd had in the pub, as if he had appeared by magic. The notion that he was something other than human, however silly it had been before, was starting to seem credible all of a sudden. It made me feel a little uneasy. Of course he was real. He was a real person, I'd just made love with him. I was still wet inside, my thighs were still sticky from his semen.

I laughed it off.

"What's that supposed to mean? are you a mind reader? Who are you?"

"I was just passing through."He said, "And I was thinking about the same things as you. How much I needed to be with someone.." He kissed me gently.

"Suck it for me."

I didn't need much encouragement. I was down there taking him in my mouth, my lips sliding up and down the length of his cock as I sucked him. He ran his fingers through my hair, thrusting into my mouth and moaning with pleasure. He was breathless again, begging me to do it harder. As I did so he cried out and shoved my mouth hard on his cock, coming fast, spurting hot salty cum that filled my throat and I swallowed twice then sucked and swallowed again to take it all down.

Max breathed a big sigh and sank back onto the pillow.

"Thank you that was lovely."

Now he had his arm around me. We were enjoying the closeness, still glowing together from good sex.

"I have to go soon ."He said sadly, " I have to be somewhere.."

His eyes clouded with sorrow as he tried to explain.

"I was thinking about things,"He told me, " about life. It can change so quickly and when it does it can be too late. I was thinking the same way as you, about how I wanted someone to hold me and make love with me - but I had a different reason to you.  When you see what I really am you won't want me. I don't want you to see it, not till I'm gone.. I don't know if I'll ever be this person again. I just don't know.."

I hugged him, it hurt me to see him so distressed. Whatever had happened to him had really upset him on a deep level. I had to find out what he was talking about.

"You can trust me."I told him, "Tell me the truth. What happened that's so terrible you can't face it? We'll do it together. I'll help you - this fight..what happened? Tell me everything you remember."  

That haunted look was back in his eyes.

"You won't understand."

"Did you kill someone?"

"No!"

"Did you harm anyone?"I asked him.

"No Ruby... Look, I can't tell you...it's complicated, you'll get scared. I don't want you to get scared.. you're special. I like you." And he stroked my face gently, kissed my cheek.

"Now leave it."He said. Tension was rising in his voice.  I couldn't rest until I knew the truth.

"Max, I can't forget what you've said. What happened?"

By now we were sitting up and no longer cuddling. I needed answers.

"What's so bad that you can't tell me?"

It was hurting him to let the truth out.  He blinked back tears again.

"You want to know? You really want to know?"

He was getting angry.

"I want to know."I repeated, and I closed my hand over his.

"You won't like what happens when I tell you."He said, "It will happen, it always does... I told you, I'm not always like this. I don't know what will happen to me .. I know I'm on a journey, but I don't know which way it will go. You're not the only girl who I've met like this, but you're the only one who might accept it.."

And he gave me a final hug and let go of me.

"You'll read about me in the paper."He told me, "Tomorrow... You'll see me and recognise me."

And again he read my thoughts.

"No,"He told me, "I'm not joking. And yes, I can tell what you're thinking. Word for word. It was a bit more than a fight, by the way."

He led me over to the window. We stood together, he held both my hands.

"You was right to wonder what I am."He told me, "I'm not the same as you. I used to be, but not any more.... " He paused, waiting for something that he knew was on the way. "It's going to happen in a minute..I'm sorry, I can't stop it..not now I'm talking about it.."

He was holding onto both my hands,  I could only stand and listen as my fear of the unknown grew with every passing moment.

"It was'nt a fight." He told me, then he quietly spelled it out : "It was a sunday afternoon ten years ago."He said, "I was working for - well, I cant tell you about that right now, but I had a mission to take out a psycho. The police knew who he was but there were a few things they couldn't afford to be made public about him, so they sent me - that's what I did, the secret stuff that never got in the papers..the things that had to be covered up for everyone's protection...I turned a corner and there's this car parked up ..I saw them. I saw him..." And he stopped right there, frozen by the memory, but he didn't have to say any more. His hands were still in mine, I felt a wave of something pass between us and I could see it : A leaf-blown avenue in late autumn.  A white car, two young children crying in the back. A terrified woman in the front seat begging for her life as the gunman took aim. Max didn't think of his own safety. He pushed his fear to one side and walked over to the man with the handgun. He said it quietly at first, Drop the gun. The man turned and looked at him. In that moment, when he saw the look in his eyes he must have known that lunatic couldn't be reasoned with. He must have known he stood no chance. He glanced at the woman and whispered "Drive.". She reached for her keys and turned them in the ignition. The gunman made a move to shoot. "DROP THE GUN!"Max shouted, "I SAID DROP IT!" And  then he pulled his own gun, but the other guy squeezed the trigger first.. There was a bang and a blinding flash. Then the vision was gone, I was back in the bedroom and Max's hands were slipping from mine.

"I thought about it,"He said, "When I was lying in the street..I thought, this is it. I'll never have another moment of life..I'll never laugh or make love..I'll never see another sunrise...I wanted one last breath more than I had..even one second more would have been precious.. and I found a way to come back.. there's times when I can reach back if I can reach someone who's on the same level, the same strength of emotion.. "

My words came out hushed by my own disbelief.

"You're a ghost."

"No! no,I'm not..I don't know how to explain - "

He didn't get the chance to explain.

He doubled up in pain and fell back on the bed, as he fell he grabbed the sheet and hugged it to his body.

"I'm sorry.. I told you this would happen.. don't look at me.."

I reached out to him.

"Don't look at me.." Max said again, giving a gasp as he felt a sharp pain.

Now I understood.  As he held it to his body a crimson stain was spreading  through the sheet as if his soul was reliving the trauma.  As I stepped forward to reach for him I caught a glimpse in the mirror on the dresser and I stared. All I could see was myself. On the bed was a crumpled sheet still white and unblemished. He had no reflection. I looked back at him. He was fading, disappearing like a dream before my eyes.

"Sorry.."He whispered.

And then he was gone, his clothes were gone. The room was still and silent.

"Max?" I called out. No answer.  I knew I was alone. But I still got onto that bed and grabbed the sheet, searched it for any trace of a bloodstain. There was nothing. I laid down and closed my eyes and hoped for a morning light that would make some kind of sense of all this. It was then I realised a trace of him did remain; there was a vague scent of his skin on the sheet and on the pillow. And I as I made a silent wish that he could find peace, a restfulness came over me.  When I woke it was morning.

PART THREE

The next day felt unreal, I left the hotel and went home with the remains of a hangover and so many mixed emotions I couldn't begin to sift through them. I got a morning paper but there was no mention of Max. I watched the news. I still didn't hear anything. The day dragged on like any other. Except that I didn't drink. I stayed sharp. I had to. I knew that last night had happened. I had proof. My wrist bore two bruises, fingermarks from when Max had grabbed me and begged me to come back. They were noticable but I didn't want them to fade, they were the only proof I had of his existance....

The day stretched on full of questions I had no answers to, and it was driving me crazy. 

Then I took a walk to clear my head. I turned a corner and headed towards the park, took a different route to my usual one, I needed a long time out here just to get the air, to blow away all my doubts about last night and line up all the facts no matter how strange they were.  A chill wind blew leaves about the street and suddenly it all seemed very familiar - I had seen this street before..Max had showed it to me...Had it happened here? I crossed the road and went into the park. The bruise on my wrist still ached, but not as much as the longing in my heart to see him again.  He said he wasn't exactly a ghost.. What the hell did that mean? I walked through the park feeling like the air was about to fold on all four sides and swallow me up. Another dimension of life, me in this confused world, searching for answers and not finding anything.. Ten years ago, he said.. and he wasn't a ghost, but like a ghost.. it all went around in my head and was still going around until I reached the other side of the park and walked up the street towards the shops.

That was when his prediction came true.

I slowed my pace as my gaze fixed upon the man walking towards me. Something was becoming clearer although I couldn't define it, all I knew was I was walking towards the man I had met last night. He was older now, still handsome and looking very much alive.

And as our eyes met my heart missed a beat as I realised he recognised me, too.

"Max?"I said aloud.

He looked at me, as if he hadn't seen my face for a very long time.

"Ruby."He replied, and for a moment we did nothing, just hugged each other like we were both afraid of vanishing if we let go.

We went back to his place, a couple of streets away. He sat me down and started to talk.

"That was my last assignment."He told me, "After I got shot I could never go back. I kept getting nightmares, flashbacks..but they were more than that..as if I got trapped in this piece of the past..it was like being a ghost..sometimes, when I dream like that Im back there but not there, like a part of me still lives but comes back from the past..like a ghost...that's what happens when I have these dreams.."

I drew him into my arms and held on to him.

He told me, how he would dream about what happened, then somehow he was back there - as himself, ten years ago, yet solid, all the while he would be walking around and feeling like a ghost, sometimes people could see him, speak to him while he was in that state, other times, they didn't see him at all, as if he was a spirit. He dreaded the nightmares because he had no control over them, no control over sliding into the other existance.

"It's been bad lately, he told me, I can't sleep and when I do, it happens..I feel as if I haven't slept for months.."

"You can sleep now."I told him.

And he did, it was as if my presence made all the difference in the world. I sat beside him and watched him sleeping, as he breathed deeply I unbuttoned his shirt and sure enough, there was a scar that ran down his chest, just like he told me, just like the bullet wound I had seen..He also had a stunning body..And he looked so handsome lying there, I just couldn't help myself...I knew he was alright, he was only asleep. There was no harm in gently sliding my hand over his body. If I did it carefully he wouldn't even know. He probably wouldn't remember this anyway, he was so tired... I leaned forward and gently kissed his lips.As I kissed him a part of me was wishing my kiss would wake my sleeping prince, but he didn't wake.  I slid my hand down his body, slowly, gently, until I was between his legs. To my surprise his cock was slightly hard and I wondered, did this bloke have a hard on all the time? Did he sleep with a permanent semi? As I started to stroke it he stirred, his hand moved down to mine and he briefly touched it but slept on, no doubt dreaming nice dreams by now..I did it harder, then deciding I might as well go all the way I got down there and sucked his cock. He was getting SO hard and he looked so irresistible lying in that bed I couldn't have stopped myself if I tried. He shot into my mouth and I swallowed it. Then I kissed his cheek.

"It was just a dream." I whispered.

And then I wrote my number on a piece of paper and left it on the coffee table and I quietly slipped out the door.  I wanted to see him again but in this life he had never really known me. I had known him as a phantom, a shadow passing through. But I knew I would miss him. 

   Time passed. Although life went on I saw things differently. I drank less and started to appreciate life because his words had stayed with me. I still went to the pub sometimes, but it wasn't to get drunk. I'd look around and wonder if I'd ever see him again. The toilet was hardly the most romantic of places -  especially when they left the window open on a cold evening to air out the damp carpet - but if I went in that cubicle and closed my eyes I could picture him in front of me with that hard cock in his hand and I often wished he would come back.  Life went on, normal in every way except that I knew I would never forget him.

And that's most of my story.... but not all. There is more. Did you really think that was the end?  As if !  I told you, I have a story to tell.... it doesn't finish there! So listen a bit longer and I'll tell you the rest and you might even like it because there's more sex. Listening? Good. Then I'll carry on : Like I said, life went on.  Time had passed by since that night, winter had come and gone and it was early springtime, warm enough to thaw out the last of the chill that had been in the air for so long. And It would have been a spring morning like any other. Except I got a phone call I wasn't expecting.

"Ruby," He said, "It's me, it's Max."

He said he just couldn't forget me. And he wanted to see me again. I wanted to see him so much that I said yes. 

  I went to visit him the next day, and I took my time getting ready. I really made an effort to impress.  I knew when I walked in and he looked at me he would be seeing me at my best - and I had a surprise for him if he wanted it.... Beneath my short black skirt I was wearing stockings and no knickers. If he wanted another thrill from me I was happy to provide it! I knew sex could be the last thing on his mind but I hadn't forgotten the experience we had shared - or the naughty thing I had done last time I visited him.

But when I saw him he looked different, as if before a part of him had been missing but now it was back. He looked completely alive, awake and revitalised.  It was as if sharing his secret with me had exorcised his ghosts... And I wanted to run my hands over his body again, massage his cock and feel it growing larger and harder in my hand - but things were different now, before he had been weak and deeply asleep, now he was much better and I wasn't going to suck his cock unless he wanted me to. Part of me hoped he recalled what I did, but I felt a little guilty about it.  I wondered if he would ask me what sort of person gives a man a blow job under those circumstances..!

Max was pleased to see me. He took me in his arms and hugged me tightly, then he whispered six words in my ear, it didn't answer all my questions, but it told me he certainly recalled something...Then he laughed and his eyes sparkled playfully.

"I mean when you was here - and when I was with you at the hotel.." Then he added:  "I seem to be a lot better these days..must be something to do with knowing you."

"I think you look great."I said honestly.

"I'm sleeping well," He told me,  "I'm not having any dreams..real or in my head.."

He kissed me, and there was impatience in that kiss.

"I'm fucking you."He told me.

And then he dragged me upstairs, told me he wanted me right now. He had all the fire inside him that I had seen in his ghost, only now it was here, in the living man and seeing such desire come alive in his eyes I knew I was by now far too wet to resist. His cock was hard, so hard I knew he was almost ready to come.

"I've been too long without sex..." His hand slid up my stockings.

"Knickers?"

"No."

"Good girl!" And he moved past my thighs and pushed two fingers inside me.  A shockwave of pleasure rippled through my vagina and I soaked his hand with my love juice. We kissed, hard and passionate.The window was open and I was glad his mouth was on mine to stifle my cries of pleasure. My vagina was aching for him and the way he was putting his fingers in and out of me I was so wet and stretching open I wanted to beg him to put all his fingers in there at once. Then he took his hand away and lay back, breathless and longing for orgasm.

"Suck it for me.."

I took his cock in my mouth and sucked him hard and fast. As I was sucking he was pumping it in and out of my mouth and murmuring words of encouragement.  I stopped sucking and wrapped my fingers firmly around his erection, wanking him hard as I teased his balls gently with my tongue. I was about to give them a gentle suck when he told me he was coming. As he shot his load I swallowed it all and realised how much I'd missed the taste of his semen. The orgasm had taken away all his tension.

"I really needed that. "

I smiled. "I still haven't kissed you everywhere." 

"Everywhere? I'll have to think about that..."

I leaned closer and kissed him.

"I'm going now. Try and get some more sleep."

"I'll call you soon." He promised me.

I did'nt have to wait long to see him again. A week later he came to see me. I'd got him all turned on with photos and messages that teased him and made him hard. He certainly gave me what I deserved when I saw him again. Five minutes after I'd met him at the train station he took me into a bus shelter, pushed my mini skirt up to my hips and shoved his cock in me, fucking me so hard and so fast I thought the shelter might collapse. We came close to getting caught that time, just as he was putting his cock away and I was straightening my skirt a car passed us.  When we walked into town I noticed I was getting rather strange looks from people in the street, who stared in the direction of my thighs. When I glanced down I realised they were staring because I'd been walking down the busy high street with semen running down my leg. I quickly wiped it off with my finger and put it in my mouth! It was naughty I know, but I just did it without thinking. Later, after we went to bed and I'd kissed every inch of his body and he had climaxed again, as he fell asleep I said a silent thank you to the unseen forces that had been at work the night we met.... Now I can honestly say that I truly believe in magic!

So, now you know everything. Maybe next time you come in this pub you'll see the place in a different light, I mean, look what happened to me. I'm going to leave you now because you see that handsome man who just walked in, the one all the girls are looking at? Well that's him, that's Max. And I'm aching to surrender my body to him again, so I'm going in a minute and I'll be opening my legs for him and he's going to fuck me senseless...If I come back in later and you notice a stain on my skirt or in my hair do tell me, won't you. It was nice talking to you. Oh, and one more thing:  Can you guess what he said to me, when he whispered six words in my ear that proved he remembered everything? No? Isn't it obvious? Then I'll tell you :

He said, You give a good blow job !

The End