THE RAPE CHRONICLES: CASE STUDIES OF SURVIVOR RESPONSES Case Number One This case requires more background information than most, in order to place events within a proper context, especially considering the unusual, though not previously unheard of, sadistic twist perpetrated by the rapists. At the time of the attack, thirty-three year old Norma and her sixteen year old son Paul had been living alone for the previous two years. Norma's divorce from ex-husband John had been finalized six months before. The marriage had ended after the latest in a sequence of John's habitual affairs. John was a successful manager of a real estate brokerage office. His income provided Norma with sufficient alimony and child support that it was unnecessary for her to work. Her only regular activities at this stage in her life consisted of daily workouts in the gym ("to compete from a distance with the younger sluts I knew my husband was still screwing") and compulsively watching some of the more outlandish TV talk shows. The relationship between Norma and Paul had developed severe strains. As a result of John's sexual escapades, Norma was determined to ensure that Paul not "end up like his father," that is, that he not grow into a man who would treat women only as sexual objects. Thus, at the very time in a teenage boy's life during which interest in the opposite sex is reaching the very peak and highest intensity that it will perhaps ever achieve, Paul was forbidden to date. This occasioned numerous and bitter arguments between mother and son. Norma's insistence that Paul was "too young" had resulted in a relationship that ranged (at best) from silent and uncommunicative to (at worst) bitterly acrimonious. Indeed, on the very evening of the attack, mother and son had a particularly harsh argument, in which Paul called Norma "a sick bitch," and had gone into his room, slamming the door behind him. This is the context in which the rape and its' accompanying events took place. It's likely that this emotional turmoil, preceding the sexual assault that soon followed, added to the psychological trauma that both Norma and Paul suffered at the time, and contributed to the bizarre results which occurred after the attack Now, to the facts of the rape itself. At approximately nine pm, three African-American men entered the house in what police later referred to as a classic home invasion. They quickly ascertained that Norma was there alone with her son. They brought Paul out of his bedroom, into the living room. Both mother and son were in a state of shock. The men demanded Norma's cash, credit cards and any jewelry she might have. After giving them what money she had and what jewelry she could find, the men were furious at the insignificant value of what Norma gave them. The men forced Paul to witness what followed. They made Norma disrobe, then they took turns sexually assaulting her. In addition to vaginal rape, they made Norma perform fellatio upon them. She was also sodomized. When they had finished taking their turns with Norma, then occurred the "twist" referred to earlier. They forced mother and son to engage in sexual intercourse. According to what Norma and Paul both reported to the police, they at first resisted the rapists' demand. The rapists then threatened both mother and son. They finally got Norma's cooperation only after convincing her that they would kill her son. After the forced incestuous relations between mother and son, the men again took turns raping Norma, before finally leaving. You will see a very different version of what actually happened in the following comments excerpted from the psychological counseling Norma has undergone since her rape. There are even more disturbing facts which emerged over time from a series of interviews Norma granted the editor. The comments you are about to read from the victim are, as indicated above, excerpted from counseling sessions Norma has had, and from private interviews granted the editor. I'm grateful to Norma for her honesty in relating her emotional responses during her rape and compelled relations with her son. I'm even more grateful for her further disturbing revelations about her life since the events of that traumatic evening. NORMA'S STORY (as related in counseling sessions): "Even all these months after it happened, it's still tough for me to understand everything I felt, all the thoughts and emotions that went through my mind at the time... One of the things I only later figured out, or, I should say, that I could admit to myself, was that I felt a certain excitement when I realized what those men were going to be doing to me. I mean, to be honest, I always enjoyed sex. After a lot of conversations with girl friends in high school and college, I came to the conclusion that I was kind of over sexed. [Norma laughed at this point in the recorded counseling session] It took my marriage to kill those feelings in me! At least I thought those urges were pretty much gone. I had some occasional fantasies, but I really didn't want anything to do with men...I understand now how I took that out on Paul... Right, how I felt...well, of course, I was terrified. The violence of the way they kicked the door in, the guns they had, the threats they made, I've never been so scared in all my life. Then they got so angry because I didn't have much of value in the house to give. Nothing of value, except for what they decided to take for themselves [bitter tone]... They told me that if I didn't have anything of value to give them, that...well, that they would just have to have a good time fucking me. I was so frightened, that I never even thought about arguing or pleading. But I did speak up when they told me to take my clothes off. 'Not in front of my son, please." They just laughed. 'As a matter of fact, this be a good chance for your boy to get some real life education. Get over here, boy. You're gonna see a real entertaining show," one of them said. They grabbed Paul by the arm, and brought him over to just a few feet away from me. Here's where it's still difficult for me to sort out my feelings. I mean, first, I was still terrified out of my mind. I was afraid of what these men were going to be doing to me. But...I hadn't had any sex for two years. That's...well, it's just a really long time, you know. And now there were three men, three strangers, who were forcing me to get undressed in front of them. And I could see from the looks on their faces, how much they wanted to...fuck me. And there was something else, too. I had never...been with a man of color before. Except for seeing some porno films in college, and watching a couple of movies like that with John after we were married, I had never seen a naked black man before. And they were starting to get undressed. I...I, well, there's no way, except to say it, I guess. I was curious, curious and excited to see their bodies. Damn it, I had been horny for so damned long, well, the idea of seeing some strange cock...and not just cock, but black cock, and three of them at the same time! Well, part of me wanted it. Is that sick? Isn't it maybe, kind of normal under the circumstances? So, anyway, I was scared and curious and a little bit excited. But then, Paul was there! The idea of taking my clothes off in front of my son...even now, I can't really separate out all of my thoughts about that! And I don't mean...what they forced us to do later. I'm just referring to getting naked in front of Paul. For one thing, I knew he was a sixteen year old kid, and was horny as hell himself. I knew he would love to see a naked woman. How would that make him feel when he saw his own mother naked? Would he be horrified, disgusted...maybe excited? And then, there was the awful relationship between us at the time. Would his dislike and anger get even worse, when he saw his own mother nude? I was afraid he would lose any respect at all that he might still have for me. And I was bothered by something else...maybe he would even kind of like what he was going to be watching, seeing me stripped of all dignity, and seeing these men use my body. He had called me a sick bitch, and he was going to be watching me doing perverted things with three strange men! Paul was so mad at me, I just didn't know what his reaction was going to be. He might like seeing me...hurt and degraded. On the other hand, maybe it would even make him feel...I don't know, maybe kind of forgiving about our differences. Anyway, one of the men told me to quit stalling, and to get my clothes off. So, I tried not to think about my son standing there, just a couple of feet away from me. I pulled my t-shirt over my head, and threw it on the floor. Then I pulled my jeans down. The black men were making crude comments. They had already taken their pants off. I couldn't help looking at their cocks. They were already hard. I don't know if it was just because I had been so long without a man, but their erections seemed enormous, sticking straight out from their bodies. I saw that Paul was looking at them, too, and he had a shocked expression on his face. And then he looked over at me, and I saw his eyes run from the area of my bra, down to my panties. He seemed...he seemed kind of transfixed by seeing me partially undressed. Maybe it was the combination of seeing me like that in front of those half naked black men, with their hard-ons...I don't know... I just stood there for what seemed like a few seconds, and then one of the men slapped me across the face. I was more shocked and scared than hurt...but I knew I had to do what they wanted. So I reached behind me, unclasped my bra, and pulled it off. Those assholes laughed, and made some dirty comments, and they started feeling me with their hands. I made sure I didn't look at Paul, so I don't know what his reaction was, as he saw a bunch of strange men playing with his mother's tits. They were squeezing me, and pulling on my nipples. I think I was crying. But while they were having their fun, I went ahead and pulled my panties down, and kicked them off. Then their hands were now between my legs, too. I felt someone put his hands in the crack of my ass, and search out my...my asshole, and I felt a finger poking inside me. They weren't gentle, they were just starting to use me, to take what they wanted from my body. They were starting to rape me. I had closed my eyes without realizing it. Then I suddenly opened them, and looked at Paul. He was staring at the dark bush between my legs. His mouth was kind of hanging open. It seemed to me he was being turned on by looking at me. I felt sick, actually nauseous, as I really understood that my son was getting excited by my nakedness, and maybe even by watching those men touching me. But...I also felt some kind of...excitement, too. It was strange, I still don't understand it. But having my own son seeing me like that...I don't know, I still don't get it. Why would that make me feel, what, excited, turned on? I felt like I was going crazy, maybe it was just all that time without sex, and all of a sudden all this was happening...I don't know... Anyway, the black bastards went ahead and did what they said they would. They raped me. The first thing they did was to force me to my knees, and then to suck their cocks. No, I'm not going to go over all that again. But I realized something later. If my son hadn't been there, I think they would have just gotten down to fucking me. When they forced me to use my mouth on them, well, I think they were deliberately making me perform in front of Paul. And a lot of what else they did to me, the way they did it, the things they made me do to them, all of it was so that...well, I guess it was to humiliate me and Paul, to let us know we were completely in their power... I can give you another example. The first one to fuck me, I think he actually posed us for my son's benefit. No, I know that's what he did. They made Paul get a kitchen chair, and move it over in front of the couch. Then the guy sat down on the couch. He made me straddle him with my back to him, and facing Paul. Then he grabbed me by the hips, and lowered me down to his cock. He made me reach behind me with both hands, and place his cock in my vagina. Then he made me...impale myself on him, all the way down to the hilt. And even that wasn't all. He spread his legs as far apart as they would go, and then he made me put my feet on his thighs, so that my feet were actually against my ass. In that position I was spread wide open. My eyes were closed, but I knew Paul, sitting just two or three feet away, could see me spread wide open, with that black cock pumping up and down inside me. I kept my eyes closed, I didn't want to actually see Paul watching the obscene display. I heard one of the other guys say something to Paul, but I wasn't paying any attention to what it was. All I could concentrate on was the brutal pounding inside my pussy. It really was rape, none of them, including the guy who was fucking me then, did anything that night to make it pleasant, or even less painful for me. Well, except for when the next man took me...in the rear. And that was to make it easier for him, not me. Anyway, I know I was whimpering from the pain, every time he thrust himself into me. He was doing it as hard and as deeply as he could, it felt like I was being split apart. 'Open your eyes, bitch. Look at your kid,' one of the other men suddenly said. I opened my eyes and looked at Paul. He was naked. He was sitting there on the chair. His legs were spread apart, and he had an erection, which he was stroking with one hand, as he watched me being raped. As I realized what I was seeing, the man fucking me reached his hands in front of me, and began kneading my breasts and twisting on my nipples. As he did that, Paul started to move his hand even faster up and down his shaft. I...my feelings and thoughts and emotions at that point...they were all confused in my mind. I felt completely humiliated. I felt helpless. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I felt crushed, from the obvious evidence that Paul was enjoying seeing all this being done to me. But...I also felt new sensations between my legs...no, not just the pounding I was taking. I felt pleasurable, exciting feelings in my vulva. I don't know why I was being turned on by the knowledge that my son was getting off watching me being fucked. At this point, that's what I want you to help me find out. Out of everything that happened that night, I need to know, I have to know, why I ended up...feeling the things I felt. Anyway, everything that happened the rest of the night, it was all overshadowed by my awareness that Paul was watching it and enjoying it... In any case, I was turned on by having Paul witness what was happening to me, and by knowing he was excited by it. I had an orgasm while being raped. As I got more and more excited, I began moving up and down, to meet the thrusts of the cock inside me. I heard the two other men laughing, as I came in front of all them, with my son watching. I made those involuntary noises that women make when coming...or at least that I make. I'm not a screamer, I usually moan and whimper, and I did plenty of that while they all watched me and listened to me. The one who was fucking me kept saying things like, 'Yeah, baby, you like that don't you, you nasty bitch, yeah, pump up and down on that big black motherfucker inside that pink pussy.' And something else strange was happening to me. The more degraded I was becoming, and I really did feel degraded by their laughter and comments, and by my...well, by sluttish response to everything, the more excited I kept becoming. And that kept happening the rest of the night. Let me ask you, Doctor, is it rape if the woman gets turned on? I wouldn't have let any of this happen to me, if I could have prevented it...that's part of my confusion from everything that happened that night. It was against my will, completely...but I had orgasms while it was going on, and I felt excitement of a kind I had never felt before... Anyway, they really weren't just raping me, they were making me perform in front of my son. The next one to take his turn with me proved that. He made me face the back of the couch, and forced me to bend my torso over it. My face was over the back of it, and my breasts were dangling down. The third man went around the back of the couch and began playing with my tits. I heard the man behind me call Paul over. 'When you fuck a bitch in the ass, you usually need some kind cream or oil, so you can get your dick in. After the first time, it's stretched, so you don't need it any more. Watch how I get your momma ready.' Then I felt his fingers smearing Vaseline around my opening, and then all the way inside me. He rotated his fingers inside my rectum, getting me oiled deep inside, and all around. I knew Paul was getting a close up, watching this. I couldn't help myself, I started moaning. Then he fucked me in the ass, while the other guy continued to massage my tits, and pull on my nipples. They made a point of displaying me when the third man took his turn. They had me lay on my back on the carpet. Then the two guys who had already fucked me, each grabbed a leg and pulled them way back towards my head. My pussy was again completely exposed, and they had Paul sit right behind the man, who then proceeded to fuck me. My legs were held in that pulled back position until he came inside me. I came again. As he was fucking me, all I could think of was how Paul was watching it all, seeing every detail. The thought of it drove me wild. And there's no point in any of this if I'm not honest, right? Well, while the third guy was doing his thing, I couldn't help thinking of what Paul looked like, as he had sat in that chair, holding his young cock in his hand, playing with himself. You already know my ultimate performance of the night, though. When the third man was through with me, I just lay there. I was exhausted by having just been fucked by three men, and by having had a couple of orgasms. Suddenly I heard words that stunned. 'Do you want to fuck your momma?' I couldn't breathe, and the silence seemed to last forever. Then Paul answered...I couldn't believe what he had just been asked...and then I couldn't believe, I'll never ever forget, his simple answer. 'Yes.' 'No,' I moaned. 'I won't do it, I won't let him do it." One of the men got on his knees next to me on the floor. He grabbed my hair with one hand. Then he slapped me with the other. Then he backhanded me, as well. My ears were ringing, and started to cry. 'Please,' I started to say. Then he punched me in the stomach. I couldn't breathe, it felt, I don't know, it felt like I was going to die, or suffocate. I rolled over and over on the floor. Gradually, I became able to breathe again. I just lay there. 'You going to let your boy fuck you? Or do we need to persuade you some more?' 'No,' I gasped. 'Please, don't hurt me anymore.' I couldn't believe this was happening. The rape, Paul's excitement at what was happening, all of that had seemed unreal, incredible, like a combination nightmare or dream. But to have my own son...to be forced to let my own flesh and blood fuck me...I just lay there, waiting to be told what to do. I knew I would have to obey their orders, and their instructions. But I didn't have the initiative or the energy to even change my prone position, without someone directing me. Then I was dragged to my knees. They motioned Paul over, to stand in front of me. His erection was at my eye level. I was staring directly at my son's cock. There was a whole, whirling turmoil of thoughts and emotions that ran through me at that moment. How can I describe what I felt then? I think almost the first thing that occurred to me was the memory of Paul as an infant. He had been so small, and so helpless... Now he was standing in front of me, and I was the one who was helpless. 'Go ahead, momma, suck his dick,' one of the men ordered. I looked up at Paul. 'Please, Paul, we can't do this. It would be sick, sick and perverted. Please, honey.' I stared up at him. The three men also looked at him. We all waited for his response. 'Suck my dick, mom.' I started to cry again. The men just laughed. I looked at my son's penis. There had been plenty of lovers in my life, so even before that night, I had seen plenty of hard-ons. But as I looked at Paul's erection, it might as well have been the first penis I had ever seen. And then I had a realization that really overwhelmed me. The cock in front of me, the one I was about to...service, it was one that my own body had created. I had made my son, including the penis he and these men were forcing me to submit to. I looked at it closely, really as if I had never seen a penis before. I was...well, I was astonished by the beauty and sheer sexiness of this male organ, that had come out of my own body. As I looked at it, it jerked up and down once. I looked up at Paul. He was staring down at me, and he looked as if he was afraid I wouldn't do what these men had ordered me to do. I looked back at his penis. I reached out slowly...and I touched it. It jumped in my hands, and I heard Paul gasp. The other men were laughing again, but their voices, and the men themselves, didn't seem to matter any more. All I could focus on now was Paul, and the beautiful organ I had between my hands. I stared at it with such a...such an incredible focus, that it really was like seeing the male organ for the first time. My fingernails traced around the edges of the head. Paul was groaning steadily now. I ran my fingers over the protruding veins. I then ran my fingers along the whole length of the underside of his shaft. I cupped his balls with one hand, and began stroking his cock with the other. I was amazed at the curly pubic hair above his cock, and the hair which had started to cover his balls. And then I was struck by another thought. I had refused to let Paul date, thinking he was too young. But the evidence of his right to want to be with girls was in my own hands. He had the cock of a man. I realized something else, too, something really ironic. The fact that I hadn't let him seek out girls meant that he was going to be especially horny now...and I was going to be the one to satisfy his horniness. His cock was now jerking steadily in my hands. Wait, I'm sorry. I'm supposed to be talking about my feelings, right? And here I am giving detailed account of how I had sex with my son! Oh, sure, anything I want to say is ok...when do I get to start understanding my fucked up mind? OK, I do want to tell the rest of it, at least the things that have to do with Paul. I saw that if I played with his cock much longer, he would be coming. Somehow, without knowing how I came to decide it, I knew that I was going to let him put his cock inside me, and shoot into me. No, I know that I basically didn't have much choice. But I could have made him come with my hands. And despite the fact that Paul was forcing me to have sex with him, I didn't want him embarrassed. I knew he would be humiliated if he shot off in my hands. I didn't want these strangers laughing at him...they were already laughing at me enough. I took his hand, and pulled him down beside me on the carpet. I got on my back. I spread my legs wide apart, with Paul between them. I opened my labia with one hand, and found my clitoris. I pulled on it, so it was exposed. Then I took Paul's hand, and began rubbing it against my clit. I groaned at the feel of his fingers. I pulled my legs back, as far as they would go, to encourage him to keep playing with me. My son learned quickly. He began circling my clitoris, pulling on it gently, and even began flicking it back and forth. His touch was gentle. He was performing as a true lover. My clitoris had always set me off sexually, very quickly and explosively. Just having fingers playing with me there would be guaranteed to get me going. But as I lay there, I thought about it being my son's hands manipulating me between my legs. I started to get wet, really, really wet. I knew Paul could tell. He started to move his fingers up and down my now very wet central groove, back and forth. I know I was moaning like some kind of whore. He was really turning me on. It reached a point where I wasn't even thinking clearly anymore, his fingers were arousing such intense sensations in my pussy...and then I felt his fingers touching my anus, and then shoving into my rectum. I don't know what he was thinking, but I now wanted him to fuck me...no, I needed him to fuck me. 'Paul, please...fuck me.' He continued to tease my pussy and my asshole. 'Paul, please, I want you...I want you to fuck me. I want your big cock inside me. Please, please, please...' I then reached down, and gently grasped his rock hard cock. I guided him into my dripping vagina. And my son fucked me... I know Paul was still a child, emotionally. But physically and sexually, he was a man. He had a man's long, hard cock. He thrust it inside me with a man's force. I felt his balls slapping against my ass. I put my hands on his ass, and pulled him tightly against me. He had laid down, his face next to mine. I had never been more turned on, never felt more intense fucking sensations from inside my pussy. I touched his face with one hand, and moved his mouth to mine. I don't think Paul had ever kissed a girl romantically, so he must have been shocked when I forced my tongue inside his mouth. I started frenching him, moving my tongue deeply into his mouth, and circling his tongue with my own. He quickly responded, and as he continued fucking me with his cock, we continued our wet kissing. Then I took his hands in mine, and placed them on my tits. He groaned, as he began squeezing them, and rubbing his hands back and forth across my nipples. I could have climaxed at any time since I first guided his hand to my clit, but I waited, I wanted him to know what it feels like to a man to come at the same time as the woman he's fucking. I wanted him to know the sense of power a man feels at making a woman surrender herself. When I felt his thrusts suddenly get faster, and his groans start to increase, I knew he was there. I exploded at the same time that he emptied himself inside me. It's impossible for me to describe what it felt like to me, feeling my own son thrusting his cock inside me, and shooting his sperm into me. Sexual pleasure for me has always consisted of a voluntary surrender of my body to the body of the man making love to me. To surrender my body to my own son's cock, it's just impossible to describe the different emotions I was feeling, as I thrust my pelvis to meet his own repeated plunging into me. I was moaning his name the whole time I came... ...I guess what I really need to understand, after all these months, are two things... I want to know why I responded the way I did...I mean, I've never been perverted or into kinky things, so how I could I be so passionate with my own son? It was incest...and my own son made me come... The other thing? Well, I would like to know why I still want to fuck him...and if I'll ever stop wanting it... After reviewing the counseling records, which I obtained with Norma's authorization from the psychologist treating her, she was kind enough to grant me a number of interviews. I was seeking clarification of some points, and elaboration of others. As time went on, it became obvious that an intimate level of trust was being created between us. Norma spoke more freely and spontaneously, she stopped considering each word carefully, before describing some act or emotion. And gradually, she revealed additional facts about the night of the rape itself, and then was shockingly and brutally honest about developments that have occurred since the rape. What follows are those additional revelations. I can't believe I'm telling you all this. I just couldn't bring myself to tell my counselor some of this stuff. Considering all the things I have told him about, how sick must this stuff be, if I haven't been able to talk to him about it? OK, first, the night of the rape. Those miserable sons of bitches must have gotten pretty turned on by the way I responded to Paul fucking me, because when Paul was finished, they came and pulled him off of me. He was still inside of me, and they just pulled him away. Then they took turns fucking me again. I'm not sure who did what, or in what order. I know that they fucked me in the ass, as well as my pussy...as a matter of fact, I do remember something, something that would have seemed unspeakably perverted before...before the things Paul and I had just done. Two of them took me at the same time. One of them laid on his back, and they made me sit on his cock. He pulled me forward, on to his chest. Then I felt someone behind me, pushing my legs forward as far as they would go. My ass must have been sticking up in the air. Then while the first guy was pumping himself upwards into me, I felt another cock push inside my asshole. They fucked me together, it seemed like it went on forever...Despite the physical pounding, and the pain, I was almost numb, except for one thing...I knew Paul was seeing it all. I wondered what he was thinking...Anyway, they finally did finish. The last guy made me give him a blow job. I had to work very hard, with my hands as well as my mouth, to get him off. But finally he did come, and I just kind of slumped down to the floor. I was exhausted, I was in pain, I think I must have been in a state of emotional shock. I don't know how long I lay there. But at some point, Paul got down on the floor beside me. I didn't move, I don't think I could have moved on my own, and he didn't do anything for a couple of minutes. But then...I felt his hand rubbing my ass. 'Paul, no, don't,' I said, half shocked, and half angry. He didn't say anything, but he didn't stop, either. I pushed his hand away. For a minute, neither of us moved. Then Paul got up from beside me, and moved behind me. I was laying on my side, and he pushed me over on to my stomach. He pushed my legs up towards my chest. 'Paul, no, stop it,' I said. Paul didn't say anything, but he didn't stop, either. I felt his hands spread my cheeks, and I felt his fingers probing at my anus. I felt paralyzed, unable to move. I asked him again to stop. Now, as I think back on it, I think I must have been moaning the words, more than speaking them. I was pleading with my own son, pleading with him not to abuse me. But he still didn't stop. But I did. I stopped pleading with him. I lay there, my ass in the air, as he continued to explore my asshole. I heard him breathing heavily, but his hands felt very sure as they continued to manipulate my rear. And then his hands moved down to my vulva. Paul spread my labia, and began massaging that center channel he had rubbed earlier. Then he found my clitoris again. He remembered where it was...and he obviously remembered how sensitive it was to me. I looked behind me, to see him. He had a smile on his face, as he heard me beginning to moan, as he played with the small nodule between his fingers. I knew he felt the power his hands had over me. I knew it from the cruel smile on his face, and I knew it from the hard-on sprouting out from the hairy bush at his groin. He continued to use his fingers to manipulate my pussy. I started to get wet, and I started to feel waves of sensitive pleasure as Paul continued to touch me. Then Paul shoved his finger deeply into my ass, as far as he could get it in. I gasped in pain, as he started to rotate his finger forcefully inside my rectum. 'Please, Paul, you're hurting me,' I pleaded. He kept rotating his finger inside my ass, but then he started rubbing my clit. He pulled on it, he started flicking it with one of his fingers. The pain in my ass was...well, it was no longer pain, it felt good. His finger was so far inside me, that suddenly I had the feeling that I might have to shit. I was horny again, I wanted him to fuck me again. All of a sudden I wanted to do something lewd, something dirty...I don't know why, but I wanted to let Paul know that he was in control of my body again...not just physical control, he was strong enough to force me to do whatever he wanted. I wanted him to know that I wanted him to do what he was doing. I tightened the muscles in my anus. I felt him laugh as he felt the movement inside my asshole. Then I pushed out with those same muscles. I surprised us both...I farted around his finger. I heard him laugh again. 'Get on your knees,' he said. I slowly climbed to my knees, as he pulled his finger out of my ass. He positioned himself behind me. He put his hands on my ass cheeks. I actually shivered from the thrill I felt from...I guess it was from a sense that he knew he controlled me, the casual way he had his hands on my ass, it was a sign that he was completely in charge. You know I've thought a lot about all of this...I think, after what I had been through that night, and the fact that I had been so long without sex before then, that I would have really been turned on...and I know how sick this sounds, believe me, but still, it's the truth, it's the way I felt...like I started to say, I would have been turned on by letting any sixteen year boy use my body. That feeling of being excited was made even more intense, because this was my son. I was naked, on my hands and knees, in front of my son, who was also naked. He was looking down at my ass and pussy, which were just waiting there for him to use. He must have felt like the most powerful man on earth, as he looked down on me. My pussy got even wetter, as I thought about that, as I thought about him looking down on my body, my helpless and completely vulnerable body, as I thought about his sixteen year old cock, which he could do whatever he wanted with... 'Put it in you,' he said. I reached behind me, found his cock, and guided it into my vagina. He pushed it all the way in. He started thrusting it back and forth, but much more slowly than the first time he fucked me. I think I was moaning, just constantly moaning as I felt his young hardness filling my pussy. Then I felt his hands suddenly cupping my breasts, which dangled down from my position on hands and knees. 'You have great tits,' he grunted, as he kneaded my breasts in time to his slow thrusts inside me. I felt another excruciating wave of pleasure between my legs, as I thought about my son's hands using my tits, the same tits I suckled him with sixteen years before 'Oh, God, yes, yes, yes...Paul, it feels so good, so good...' He started pulling on my nipples, and rubbing them between his fingers. They were so sensitive, I felt like screaming. But I just continued to moan, as he kept on fucking me. There's not really that much more to say about that night. Paul came inside me again, and once again, I came along with him. I still get shivers of excitement, as I picture in my mind how we must have looked, the thirty three year old mother and her sixteen year old son, thrusting against each others' genitals, the son's sperm exploding down the length of his shaft into the mother's moist interior... We never told the police about this second fucking by my son. And I never told my counselor. That should have been the end of it, of course... The next few days, Paul and I hardly exchanged any words, except for the bare necessities. I don't know what was on his mind, or at least I didn't know it then, but I knew I wanted to block it all out of my mind. Then, three or four nights after...after that night, I awoke in the middle of the night. I had been soundly asleep, and for a moment I didn't know what had awakened me. Then I looked up. Paul was standing there, looking down at me. He was naked, and his stiffened cock stood straight out from his body, it was moving up and down by itself, letting me know how aroused he was. 'No, Paul,' I whispered. 'We can't, it's wrong.' He didn't say anything, he just looked down at me. Then he moved closer to me, and stood right against the bed. His cock was right in from of my face. I looked at it. It was still moving on its' own, up and down. I felt a sudden warmth between my legs, and felt the moisture begin to slowly flow. 'Paul, please,' I started to say, even as I leaned forward. I put my mouth around the head of his penis. I began to suck him, slowly... In a minute, he reached down and pulled the covers to the foot of the bed. Then he began lifting the long t-shirt I wore as a nightgown. I sat up, and pulled it all the way off. He reached out and began caressing my tits, and rubbing the nipples between his fingers, something he was getting very good at. My nipples quickly stiffened, they stood out more than he had ever seen them do so. He got in bed and laid down next to me. He started massaging my vulva and sucking on my nipples. I stroked my hand, up and down the rigid length of his shaft. I don't know if it was his youth, or what, but I don't think I've ever felt a cock that was as hard as his was. We continued to touch each other...we made love to each other. We fucked, and we made love to each other. At least that's what it was for me. Looking back on it, I now know that as far as he was concerned, he was getting an available piece of ass. But that's getting ahead of the story, isn't it... Paul stayed in my bed the rest of the night. We fucked two or three more times. We both seemed insatiable. In the morning, we continued the previous days' lack of communication. I didn't know what to say to him. I knew we couldn't continue to do what we had done the night before, but I didn't know how to tell him that. Paul seemed to have no need to talk to me at all. We were almost back to the way we were before the night of the rape, when we didn't have anything to say to each other. The only difference now was that we weren't fighting. Things quickly developed into a pattern from then on. At some point early each night, Paul came to my bed. He didn't say anything to me, and I didn't say anything to him. He just made use of my body. He seemed to have an endless desire to touch my tits and my nipples, to play with my pussy. He also seemed to find the tight opening of my asshole fascinating. He never fucked me without first finger fucking my anus. He got very good at that, too. Paul seemed to like teasing me. He would rim my asshole with his finger for long periods of time, and then when he had me groaning uncontrollably, he would slowly insert his finger all the way into my rectum. And he teased my clit, too. I think he really got off on controlling the responses of my body, of making me want to submit my body to his use. Part of the pattern that we developed was also that of experimenting. We tried different positions. He loved taking me from the rear, with me on my hands and knees. I knew, I just sensed that each time he did that, he remembered my previous control over him. I know that he liked to remember how I wouldn't let him date, or ever stay out later than 10 o'clock, as he looked at me on my hands and knees, waiting for his cock to fuck me, and make me come. Paul also liked to have me sit on him. He would look up at me, as he moved his cock up and down inside me, and he would play with my tits. I usually kept my eyes closed, but on those occasions when I would look at him, he would be looking up, seeming to absorb every detail of my response. And my responses never seemed to get weaker. I...I loved having him fuck me. There's not even any point to trying to analyze it, it got to the point that I would be wet between my legs before he even came into my...into our bedroom. He also liked to have me sit on him while facing his feet. Sometimes he would have me that way on my knees. Sometimes he would have me impale myself on his cock that way, then he would pull me back against him. When he took me that way, he liked to tease my clitoris while he fucked me. He brought me to orgasms that were...well, just overwhelmingly intense when he did that. I know that he loved the sense of power he had over me, when he heard me making those different sounds a woman makes when she's coming...my moans and groans, my cries, my screaming...that's funny, isn't it? I had never been a screamer before, my son turned me into one. I can't believe the different things I did with him. One night, on the spur of the moment, I got down to his feet. I began to suck his large toe. When I heard him groan in response, I ended up sucking all his toes. That became a regular part of our foreplay. And then one night I, while I was sucking his cock and balls, I spontaneously moved my mouth down to his anus. I spread his ass cheeks widely apart, as far as I could spread them. I got turned on by looking at his puckered opening, and the way it was darker than the surrounding flesh of his tight young ass. I rimmed him with my tongue, and then I put my tongue inside him, as deeply as it would go. I loved the sensation of having my tongue in his rectum. I was turned by the fact of doing that to a man. And I was turned on because the man was my young son. There was a slightly bitter, acrid taste. I loved it. And Paul obviously loved it. But as always, he never said anything to let me know that he liked it or appreciated, I had to tell from his physical responses... Then, after maybe a month, things started to change. One afternoon, after getting home from school, he told me he was going out that night. 'I don't know when I'll be back,' he said in an offhand way. He looked at me. I didn't know what to say, and so I ended up just nodding. I don't know if I realized at the time how momentous that moment was. From that point on in our lives, Paul did what he wanted. That night he came home very late. I smelled marijuana on his breath. I was suddenly very afraid to say anything about it. I think the grass made him especially horny. He ate my pussy with an energy he usually didn't have for that particular task. And he didn't fuck me in the pussy, which he always did. When he was ready to finish, he straddled my face, and fucked me in the mouth. 'Oh, yeah, suck it, mom, suck every drop...yeah, yeah, yeah...,' he repeated, until he emptied himself into my mouth. 'Paul, please, would you touch me?' I asked him when he was done. I was still in that usual state of intense arousal I found myself in, whenever we were in bed together. 'Do it yourself,' he muttered, and was almost instantly asleep. And I did it, I masturbated myself to climax. He started going out at night regularly. Then other kids started calling him on the phone, girls as well as boys. I remember a pang of intense pain and jealously, the time a girl called, because when Paul got on the phone, it was with that type of excitement and innocence that a boy has for a girl friend. But our relationship was way beyond the point where I could remonstrate with him about anything. And what right did I, his mother, have to be jealous about anything? I had a right to not be in a sexual relationship with my own flesh and blood, but I didn't have any right to tell him he couldn't have a girl friend. Paul now went out a majority of nights, often coming back very late. We no longer had relations every night, but did, I would guess, about four or five nights a week. As usual, Paul wouldn't ask, he would begin touching me, and using my body for his pleasure. If anything, my passionate response to him intensified, because we were no longer fucking every night. The uncertainty about whether he would be using me, made me anticipate our relations even more than before. Then one day Paul told me he had a girl coming over that night. Her name was Janice. They watched a video they had rented. I stayed in my room that night. At one point, I got up and tiptoed to the bedroom door. I listened intently. I think I heard the sound of murmuring voices, then silence, then more quiet talking. My imagination pictured them fumbling at each other's bodies, in high school make-out fashion... Janice continued to come over frequently. It wasn't long before she and Paul would go into his old bedroom, and close the door. One night I was up at almost 4 am, and I heard Paul leave to take Janice home. The next morning I lost it with Paul. I yelled and ranted at him. I told him I would no longer permit him to have Janice, or anyone, over anymore, not without my permission. I really, really lost it. Paul listened silently. Then he left for school, without saying anything to me. That night, Paul talked to me. 'I want to ask something. Is it ok if I have some of my friends over?' I suddenly felt embarrassed at my outburst that morning. 'Sure, Paul. Who's coming over?' 'Billy.' I paused. Billy was a kid Paul had been spending a lot of time with. I had known him since he and Paul had gone to Junior High together. Billy was always the kind of kid who seemed to be in trouble. I had seen him at some high school student functions, and he was now decked out in black leather, with weirdly dyed hair. I disliked the kid, and I disliked the amount of time Paul had been spending with him. But after my emotional explosion that morning, I didn't feel I could say anything. 'Sure, Paul, that's fine.' Paul looked at me for a moment, without expression. 'Thanks, mom,' he finally said. Paul and his friend came home together that night, about 7 o'clock. Billy was in his apparently customary black leather. His hair was a fairly normal streaked blonde affair, and was spiked. From the moment he came inside the house, he gave me the willies, the way he looked at me, with a weird intensity. I tried to be friendly, for Paul's benefit, despite my distaste and dislike for his friend. 'Have you boys had dinner?' 'Yeah, we're ok.' 'Well, if there's anything I can get you guys, just let me know.' I started to turn around to go in the kitchen and make myself some coffee. I wasn't worried about being kept up, because I hoped that being on my good behavior with Billy would result in Paul...being with me later. 'Wait, mom.' I turned around. They were both looking at me. 'Mom, I want you to take care of Billy tonight.' I didn't understand. I really didn't get it. 'What do you mean, Paul?' 'I told Billy he can fuck you, that's what I mean.' I was speechless. My mouth must of hung open, as I just stared at him. I looked over at Billy, who had an eager, expectant look on his face. 'Paul, that's not funny. I think you need to watch your filth...' Before I could finish what I was saying, Paul had taken a few quick strides, over to where I stood. I was startled by his quickness, and suddenly a little afraid. His movement to get to me seemed...well, it seemed like he had the potential for violence. Then he grabbed my hair, and yanked my head down, hard. Before I could say anything, he did it again twice more. The pain from where he held my hair was awful. I felt tears start rolling down my cheeks. 'Paul, what are...?' He slapped me across the face. I was stunned, and I was terrified, too. 'I don't like the way you talked to me this morning, mom. I thought we both knew that you're not the boss of me anymore. You're just my personal piece of pussy. And I'm going to share your pussy with my friend. And maybe you'll think twice before you open your mouth to me again. Except maybe to suck my dick.' I heard Billy laugh. I was shocked by Paul's...well, I can only call it his hatred, I was shocked by that and by his willingness to hurt me. I was going to protest to him, to plead with him, but I knew that if I did, he was willing to hurt me. I had learned from the rape that if men are willing to hurt a woman to get her to do what they want, the woman doesn't have a lot of choice. So I just stood there, not saying anything, tears still coursing down my face. "Get your ass over to the couch. Now.' I walked over to the couch, the same couch that I had been brutally raped on a couple of months before. I sat down in the middle of it. Paul and Billy came over and sat down next to me. Paul was on my left, and his friend was on my right. Billy had taken his leather jacket off, and had on a black t-shirt. His torso and arms were thin, but he looked kind of wiry, like he had some physical strength. Billy was looking at me with what I now recognized as an expression of lust, sickening pure hunger. He was staring at my chest, and looked my body up and down. 'Billy, what are you waiting for? Go ahead, man, do whatever you feel like, she's not gonna argue. Are you, mom?' I didn't reply. Paul grabbed my hair again, in the same place, and twisted my head so I was looking at him. 'Are you, mom?' he said with a heavy emphasis in his words. I shook my head slowly. 'No, Paul, I won't argue.' Then began my very long evening with Billy...no, I should say, my evening and my relationship with Billy began. He put his hands on my breasts, started feeling them. He was already breathing hard. 'Mom, why don't you take your shirt off? The bra, too, ok?' I shuddered. Then I pulled my t-shirt over my head, and dropped it. Then I leaned forward, put my hands behind my back, and unclasped the bra. I heard Billy gasp, as my tits came loose. There was cool night air coming in from a couple of open windows, and my nipples stiffened, seemingly as if for Billy's gross benefit. And then a second teenage boy was touching my tits, doing so with complete freedom and impunity. 'Jesus, those are great titties. Hey, Norma, do you like the way this feels?', and he gave my nipples a sudden, vicious little twist. I groaned in pain. Paul gave me a quick slap on the top of my head. 'Billy asked you a question, mom. Don't you think you should be polite and answer him?. And it would also be polite to give him the kind of answer he wants, right?' 'Yes, Billy, I like the way that feels." He continued to play with my tits for a few minutes. His hands were rough and his touch was painful. He kept asking me if I liked what he was doing, and I kept lying, and assuring him I did. Then Billy gave my nipples a really painful pinch, and pulled his hands away. 'I would like to see her pussy, Paul. Is that ok?' Paul looked at me. 'Hey, mom, is that ok? Billy would like to see that hairy pussy of yours. I told him how wet you get, and he wants to see for himself.' I started to undo my jeans. 'Mom, why don't you stand up, so we can get a better look at you.?' I stood up. I started to unzip my jeans. 'Mom, turn around, so we can see you, ok?' There was now a cruel, mocking tone to everything Paul was saying. I turned around, so I was facing the two boys. I finished unzipping my pants, and I pulled them down to my feet. I kicked them away. I paused for a moment, but realized I didn't want to give Paul any more opportunities to give me orders. So before he could say anything, I pulled my panties down, and kicked them away, too. Billy's eyes were huge, as he stared fixedly at my pussy. My ex-husband hadn't liked a hairy pussy, so I had always kept it either shaved or trimmed for him. But since our separation, I had just let it grow. I knew it was unusually hairy. And Billy couldn't take his eyes off it. 'Man, what a fucking bush on that cunt!' Before either of them could say or do anything I stepped closer, and directly in front of Billy. He reached out, and began groping my pussy. And then I began to have another of those strange responses, the kind that I had during parts of the rape, and that I had had ever since with Paul. I became acutely conscious that I was standing nude, in front of two sixteen year old boys, one or both of whom were going to be using me any way they wanted. And it felt...exciting. I was being given to this sickening little pervert, and he was going to be doing whatever he wanted to with me. As he started to play with me, he suddenly laughed. 'Paul, man, you were right. She's already starting to get wet!' It was true. I was turned on, I was aroused by being an available tool for a young boy's lust. And then I remembered the hard sixteen year old cock of my son, and I knew that Billy was going to be using a man's tool to get his pleasure from me. Billy reached out, and pulled me back down on the couch. I was astonished once again by how quickly men, even sixteen year old kids, developed a sense of physical possession over a woman under their control. 'Spread your legs, bitch. Get 'em wide open for me." I had gone from 'Norma' to 'bitch,' just as soon as I was naked in front of Billy. I pulled my feet up on the couch, and spread my legs open. 'Mom, open yourself up, so Billy can play with that little button of yours. It can be kind of hard to find,' this said again in that infuriatingly mocking tone. I opened myself with my fingers. I found my clitoris, and I pulled the surrounding flesh away, exposing it for Billy's use. He got down on his knees in front of me. He leaned his face forward, so he could have a close up look at my pussy. I thought about how I was exposing myself for this immature little asshole, and I began to get even wetter. He was looking at me, he was about to be touching me...he was going to be fucking me. I was basically a sex slave, being turned over to him for whatever he wanted to do. And that was exciting to me, and I continued to get wetter. Then he began touching me. His fingers touched that ultra sensitive nodule of pink flesh, and I groaned, and moved my pussy forward to meet his rude, invading fingers. I heard him chuckle at my responsiveness, but didn't' care. No, actually I did care, it got me even hotter. I realized that it didn't matter that I couldn't stand this little jerk. He was going to be using me, and I now wanted him to do so. I wanted him to touch me, until I couldn't stand it anymore. And then he would fuck me. No, I would plead for him to fuck me, I would beg him to put his cock in me. It would make me even more turned on to let him know he had that kind of control over an adult woman. I wanted him to make me writhe, and beg for relief from him. I wanted him to laugh at what a slut Paul's mom was. And I wanted him to enjoy thrusting his cock inside of me, and emptying his balls into me. And I was going to do with him, what I loved to do with Paul, I would come at the same time he did, so he could know the power that he and his cock had over me... He continued to tease my clitoris. Then he put his other hand down underneath my ass. I felt his fingers searching for my anus, which they quickly found. He teased me there the way Paul did, by slowly running his finger around the tight, creased opening. I knew then that Paul had coached him, had told him the things that would make me excited, the things which would make me moan and act like a slut. Billy had listened well, and was applying his knowledge well. I was no longer an adult woman, in control of myself. I was a bundle of sensations, one my clitoris which Billy was still playing with, and the other was my asshole, which he now slowly forced his finger into. Then there was a third sensation, as I felt Paul's hands on my tits, rubbing them, and gently teasing the now outrageously hardened tips. It didn't take the two boys long. I was already moaning and writhing. I arched my back to meet my son's caressing fingers. Then I lifted my ass off the couch, to afford Billy a better opportunity to probe my rectum. He did so immediately, pushing his finger roughly in, as far as it would go. I was panting hoarsely. 'Yes, yes, yes,' I said over and over and over. 'She's getting too excited, the horny slut. Let's slow things down.' It was Paul's cruel voice. Then I felt all four hands withdrawn from my body. 'No, please don't stop, Paul, Billy, please...' I heard them both laughing. I was so close to coming... 'Billy, please, touch me, I want you to touch my pussy, I want you to touch my asshole.' There was only more laughter. Then I let myself start to cry, to sob, actually. I didn't have to, I could have held the tears back, but I wanted them to know how much I needed to be touched, how much I needed to be fucked. I wanted them to know I was completely in their power, and that I needed them to give me the relief I was pleading for. I continued to cry, my eyes closed. I felt movement from the two boys. After a minute I opened my eyes. They were both naked, and they both had raging erections. I was surprised by Billy's, I don't know what I expected, but it was longer, much longer than Paul's, which had always seemed more than sufficient to accomplish its' purposes. I had the absurd thought that Billy's cock looked like that of a horse's, it was so long. I couldn't help myself from staring at it. I wondered how it would feel, entering the tight opening of my vagina. I started to reach for it, but Paul grabbed my hands, and held them. 'Billy, are you just gonna let her touch you, without permission?' Billy laughed. 'No, man, the little slut needs to ask me real nice.' Billy then came close to. He held his member in one hand, and started waving it in front of me. 'Please, Billy, let me touch it, ok?' Paul kept a firm grip on my hands. 'Hey, Paul, what could she do to show how much she wants to touch my dick?' The way he asked the question, it sounded rehearsed. Then I realized, it was, a lot of this was planned out, designed to embarrass me, and to humiliate me. 'Why don't you have her eat your asshole, Billy?' 'Hey, that sounds cool. How about it, Norma, you want to touch my dick so bad, how about putting that tongue in that hole I shit out of? It should taste pretty good, I haven't taken a shower in a couple of days, but I've sure had a couple of good dumps those two days.' They were both looking at me, both smiling. 'Billy, please, may I...can I put my tongue inside you?' 'Inside what, Norma?' 'Inside your asshole. Please, Billy. I'll do it really nice, you'll like it, I swear.' I knew this whole thing about his asshole was a charade, a way to degrade me. But I now was more than willing to go along, I wanted to be degraded. I couldn't stop them from degrading me, so I would exert what control I could, and do it even more than they expected. I wanted them both to know I was just a helpless slut in their control. I suddenly got on my knees in front of Billy. 'Please, honey, turn around, so I can do you. I want to taste you. I want to...I want to taste your asshole, please.' 'God damn,' Billy said hoarsely. He turned around, and got on his hands and knees. He pushed his ass back, and up. I moved right up to him. I put my hands on his cheeks. I slowly spread his cheeks open. I looked at the brownish puckered opening. I moved my fingers to the creased circle of his anus. I then pulled it open. I could see the dark opening, leading into his rectum. I felt a rush of wet warmth between my legs, as I looked at his hole. I was going to put my tongue in this disgusting sixteen year old punk's rectum. I had begged to put my tongue inside it. And then I did exactly that. First I rimmed his anus with my tongue. It wasn't easy, because he started moving his ass, as soon as he felt my tongue. But I stuck with it, and continued to circle it. Then I pushed my tongue forward, inside him. He groaned loudly, as he felt my tongue begin to circle the inside of his rectum, pushing as deeply as it would go. He did taste faintly of feces, but I was able to control my gag reflex. I thought about Paul watching me do this disgusting thing, to this disgusting boy, all of which Paul had orchestrated. I knew that Paul was feeling a greater sense of power over me than ever before, and that knowledge made me even wetter. I continued to service his anus and rectum with my tongue. I no longer needed my hands to open him, so I began to tease my fingers over his balls with one hand, and with the other I grabbed his cock. When I felt his large, stiff rod inside my hand, I began to move my tongue faster and deeper inside of him. I wanted to earn the right to suck his cock, and then I wanted to feel it inside me. After a couple of minutes, Billy pulled away from me. 'Get on the couch,' he said, and grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet. I went to the couch and sat down. He sat next to me. 'Get on your hands and knees, and suck my dick.' I moved to my hands and knees. I bent my head over his lap. I reached out and touched his cock. Then I put my mouth on him. I kept it over his head, which was already slick with his moisture. I stroked his shaft, with a long and firm grasp. Billy reached his hands around the sides and underneath my chest, and began squeezing and stroking my hanging breasts. Then he started to push them, firmly but gently. I heard him groan as he saw and felt my tits swinging, as he pushed them. He started to slap them, softly, and that made them swing faster. I started to groan, too. He was groaning, and his cock was throbbing in my mouth, as he played with me. I knew that he was exhilarated at having an adult woman, a woman twice his age, a woman who was the mother of his friend, sucking on his cock, while he was slapping her tits. Billy was no longer disgusting to me. He was a young male, who was enjoying using my body. I loved the feel of his youthful, hard cock, I loved the salty taste of the fluid leaking out of his opening. And I loved the way he was so turned on by me. His arousal had my pussy beginning to drip with its' wetness. After a couple of more minutes, he moved my head off of his red, pulsating penis. 'Stand up in front of me, Norma.' I got up, and stood on the couch, my pussy directly in front of his face. He put his hands on my ass, and pulled my pussy against his face. I felt his tongue licking me, snaking in under the hood which concealed my clitoris. His tongue found it, and he began flicking it. I remember moaning and whimpering, as he teased me with his tongue. He continued to use his tongue on me, moving it between the sides of my labia, up and down, then side to side. The more I whimpered, the more energetic his tongue became. 'Do you like having your pussy eaten, Norma?' 'Yes,' I whispered hoarsely. He reached up and started playing with my tits again, never stopping the use of his tongue. I couldn't take any more. 'Please, Billy, I want you.' He laughed. 'What is it you want?' 'I want to you inside. Please, Billy, I want your cock. Can I sit on it? Please?' His answer was to start to pull me down towards his lap. I lowered myself, until my vagina was poised directly over his cock. His cock was still moving, so I held it still with my right hand. Then I lowered myself on to it, in one fluid motion. I was so wet, I slid easily all the way down his length, to his balls. He began to pump himself up and down into me. He began suckling at each tit, taking turns moving from one nipple to the other. 'God, I love this!,' I cried out, visualizing in my mind the sight of my complete lewd surrender to this immature sixteen year old, my surrender to the power and force of his youthful cock, and mouth and hands. I pictured to myself what other people, other adults would think, if they could see us fucking like this. I was crying out, and moaning, and whimpering, letting Billy know his complete control over me. I wondered what he felt, at reducing an adult to the frenzied display I was putting on. I didn't care, though, I loved the way his cock felt inside me. And then I felt Paul's hand move into the crack of my ass. He put a finger in my asshole, and jammed it inside, deep and hard. I came as the two boys used both my holes. I was beside myself, as I moved up and down on Billy's cock. I came as I was thrusting down on his impaling cock as hard as I could. I shuddered, as I finished coming. And then I heard Billy starting to grunt, and he began pushing himself up into me, as far and as hard as he could. I gasped at the force of his organ, as I felt it touch the cervix, at the very edge of my pussy. He emptied himself into me, making animalistic grunts as he did. Paul left a few minutes later. Billy and I ended up going into the bedroom. We fucked, on and off, the rest of the night. I gave myself repeatedly to the sixteen year old boy who had conquered me with his cock. He used me in every way a man can use a woman. He had me suck him. He had me lay on my back, and expose myself obscenely by pulling my legs back as far as they would go, and then entered me with brutal force. He made me rub Vaseline on his cock, then had me lay my chest on the bed, my ass high in the air, while he fucked my asshole. I grunted loudly each time he rammed me with his cock. It was while he was taking me this way, that I heard voices. Paul and Janice had come into the bedroom. Billy never stopped his thrusting into my rectum. In fact, he seemed turned on by the audience, as he picked up the pace and the force of his thrusts. 'You're right, Paul. She is an unbelievable slut. Look at her taking it in the ass.' Janice's voice dripped with contempt and venom. And despite their presence, and despite the sarcasm of my son's girlfriend, as she watched me being sodomized, I continued to grunt each time Billy rammed it home. Even though I hated Janice for her words, hated her so that I would soon have cause to regret my hatred of her, I loved the knowledge that they were watching Billy's long, thick cock, buried deeply in my rectum, I was excited that they saw it tightly encircled by my anus. Paul and Janice soon left, and went into Paul's room, where they closed the door. Billy and I spent the rest of the night together, in my bed. I felt bitter and jealous that Paul was spending the night with a girl. But that didn't stop me from letting Billy use me every way he wanted... The next morning, I went out to the kitchen, to make breakfast for Billy and I. Janice was there, looking in the refrigerator. I lost it. 'You fucking little bitch! I want you out of my house! Now, god damn it, get your ass out of here.' Suddenly, I realized that Paul was standing there. 'If she leaves, I'm leaving too. And I won't be back.' I was shocked. And I was scared. He seemed to mean it. I believed him. Now I wanted to pull back from this sudden brink. Before I could say anything, Janice pushed it even further. 'Fuck her. I'm gone.' 'OK, let's go,' Paul said. 'Wait,' I said in a panic. 'Paul, she can stay, ok?' Paul looked at Janice, who stared at me. I saw anger in her face, anger, but also a sense of...triumph. 'I wouldn't stay if this fucking slut begged me. Let's go Paul.' Now I was really scared. I sensed that I could really be on the verge of losing my son. 'Janice...I'm sorry. Please. I was just, I was really upset by what you said last night. But let's forget it, OK, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.' But now she knew I was frightened and desperate. She realized that my fear put me at her mercy. 'No. Paul and I are leaving.' She looked over at Paul, and so did I. He had a slight smile on his face. 'Hey, Janice, maybe she can make it up to you somehow. If she's really sorry, I mean.' Janice laughed. 'I think she's a liar. She's not sorry. She just wants to keep her baby here. Her baby, the one she likes to have fucking her,' Janice said with a sneer. Billy had come out, and was listening silently. I knew he and Janice were friends. That was how Paul had ended up knowing Janice, through Billy. Suddenly he spoke. 'C'mon, Janice. Maybe she means it. Isn't there anything she can do to make it up to you?' All of us waited silently, as Janice just stared at me with a look of venom. 'The slut needs to be punished. She deserves it. But I don't think she cares enough about you to take what she deserves, Paul.' The three of them looked at me. They waited for my response. I felt despair. I had to give in to her. 'What do...what do you want me to do?' Janice smiled, meanly, a smile that was vindictive and triumphant at the same time. I became convinced that the depth of degradation I had already sunk to was going to would achieve even lower depths. But I really had no idea about how bad it would be...
The Rape Chronicles Part 2 Janice smiled at me, a smile that was mean and vindictive and triumphant. I had just agreed to let her punish me. I was buffeted by a swirl of conflicting and contradictory emotions. I felt relief, because allowing Janice her revenge was the price of keeping my son Paul from leaving me. I felt fear, because I suspected that his fifteen year old girlfriend was an authentic bitch, and I didn't know what she might be capable of. Furthermore, she was a bitch I had just insulted and reviled, a bitch I had ordered out of my house. I also felt humiliated, as I stood in front of three teenagers, having just agreed to be "punished," whatever that might mean. And last, but overwhelming all the other feelings, I felt excitement, a stomach-fluttering adrenaline rush of lust, because I had put myself at the mercy of my son's teenage girlfriend. I was now in her power. It was similar to my emotions of a few hours before, when Paul and Janice had stood in the doorway of my bedroom. Billy was fucking me in the ass. I had been groveling on my hands and knees in front of my son's friend, his friend's cock thrusting back and forth inside my ass. I had been moaning and crying out, while my son and his girlfriend watched my sick, lewd performance. When Janice observed to Paul what a slut I was, I had gotten even more turned on, by knowing that the two of them were watching me. Similar feelings coursed through me now, excitement at the prospect of having these young people watch me being humiliated. Because whatever it was that Janice would subject me to, it would surely involve my degradation. "Get your ass into the bedroom." Janice was so emotional, so tense, her voice almost squeaked. I went into the bedroom. Paul, Billy and Janice followed me. I turned around, and faced the three young people. My heart pounded in my chest. "Take your clothes off, slut." I unbelted my robe, and slipped it off of my arms. It fell down to my bare feet. I had nothing on underneath. "It looks like she wanted to be ready for more fucking, guys. Who did you want to fuck, cunt, Billy or Paul? Or maybe both?" I stood there silently. I felt another rush of excitement, not only because I was nude in front of the three teenagers, but because a fifteen year old girl was demeaning me as I stood there that way. "Paul, find some nylons, two pair. And you, cunt, lay down on the bed." I lay down on the bed, on my back. "On your stomach, slut." I turned over, onto my stomach. "OK, Paul, Billy, take those and tie her hands to the headboard." The two boys came and tied my hands down. "Spread your legs, slut. Wider!" Janice spoke with more authority and contempt every time she issued an order. I obeyed her. I couldn't help myself, I was beginning to get aroused by her contempt, and by the orders she was issuing, and which I was obeying. It was as if she was the adult, and I was the child. The more she ordered me, the more I wanted her to order me. I felt a thrill every time I obeyed her, knowing that the two boys were watching my slavish compliance. "Pull your knees up, as far as they'll go. That's it, get that ass up in the air." I pulled my legs forward. My ass was now elevated. I felt the moisture of excitement begin to wet my pussy. There was a moment of silence. As I lay there, I thought about the three of them looking at me, seeing the lewd and obscene position Janice had ordered me to assume. I knew they were looking at my ass, which was now open to their gaze. With my legs spread, I knew they were looking at my exposed vulva, and that they could see my anus as well. I knew they were beginning to see my pussy starting to lubricate itself. I felt myself shudder, at the knowledge that these teenagers had put me in this position, and that they could do whatever they wanted to with me. "Billy, find something in the dresser, so we can blindfold her." Now there was an unmistakable tone of command in her voice. There was also a note of excitement. Billy rummaged around in my dresser, and came up with a bra. He tied it with the cups around my eyes. I heard them all laugh at the sight it made, at the sight I made. It was both ludicrous and effective. I couldn't see anything. The blindfold shouldn't have made any difference. I was already completely helpless, tied face down on the bed. But suddenly being deprived of sight did make a difference. It's difficult to put into words, but I felt even more vulnerable somehow. I imagined that other people could come into the room and see me, and I would never even be able to know who they were. I was turned on by the idea of being bound and nude in front of people I couldn't see. "You like fucking boys, don't you slut?," Janice finally said, after the laughter subsided. I again felt that excitement, at degrading myself in front of these young people. "Yes, I like fucking boys." I felt a tremor in my voice. "You would like to fuck a boy now, wouldn't you?" "Yes." I almost saw the smile on her face, as I heard her next words. "Well, I've got a real treat for you, slut. I've got a 13 year old brother, and you're going to teach him how to fuck. You're going to teach him how to make a slut all excited, and how to make a slut moan and beg for cock. How do you like that, slut?" I was speechless, in complete surprise and shock. Despite everything I had been through the last couple of months, the rape, the incestuous couplings with my son, being given by my son to his friend the previous night, I was still shocked. I was shocked, shocked when I didn't think it would be possible to shock me anymore. "No," I finally said. "I can't do that. I won't do that." "Oh, you're going to do it, all right. I was hoping that you wouldn't agree, right away, though. I'm going to have a lot of fun making you agree. Maybe, I'll have a lot of fun watching my brother make you agree." I felt the initial stirrings of fear. I was tied up and helpless. But they couldn't make me do what Janice was saying, there was no way I would do it, I told myself. I pushed my legs back down. I put them together. It made me feel less vulnerable. "Paul, this has gone far enough, you know that I can't do what she's saying." There was no response. "Paul?" "Mom, you agreed to do what Janice said, remember? Justin's a horny little guy, always looking for porn on the internet, always eyeing girls, he would go nuts using your pussy and tits." There was a moment of silence. Then he spoke his most cruel words to me yet. "I can't wait to see it, either." Suddenly I was infuriated. "OK, Paul, leave then, I don't care. I would rather have you gone with your freak of a girlfriend, than to do something that sick. Let me loose, let me go, and then go if you want, go to hell for all I care!" Someone slapped me on the ass, hard. I cried out, both from the surprise and the pain. "You see, Paul, I told you what she's like. I'm going to get Justin. I'll be back in a little while. Meanwhile, why don't you and Billy get the slut excited, so she'll be ready for a good fucking." Paul and Billy laughed. "And you better gag her, too. She might decide to make too much noise." I heard footsteps. Then I felt a hand grab the back of my hair, and yank my head back. "I'm going to love watching Justin talk you into letting him fuck you, bitch. And he will talk you into it, too. It's going to be so fucking easy." She laughed, and I heard her leave the room. A minute later I heard the front door slam. "Paul, you can't..." I started to say, and then a pair of hands pinched my nostrils shut. As I opened my mouth to breathe, a pair of my own panties was stuffed in my mouth. I was now bound, blindfolded and gagged. I was more helpless than ever. I heard noises from the two boys. I realized they were getting undressed. "Hey, Paul, Janice isn't going to want us fucking her. She just wants us to get her all juiced up between the legs, and ready to go." "I know, that's what we're going to do. But I know I'm going to get horny while we get her ready. I thought it might be fun to beat off, and shoot all over her. What do you think?" "That's a cool idea," Billy laughed. A minute or so later, someone climbed on the bed, and sat on my back. The other boy got on the bed between my legs. I couldn't help feeling a wave of anticipation between my legs, as I felt a cock and balls pressing against my back. The boy who was sitting there, holding me down more helplessly than ever, reached down, grabbed my legs, pulled them apart, and then pulled them forward, almost to my chest. My ass was elevated once more, open to whatever they were going to do. It was eerie, and also exciting, that I didn't' know which boy was sitting on me, and which one had just gotten on the bed between my legs. The boy who was sitting on me leaned forward. I felt his nose at my anus. He took a deep breath. Both boys laughed. I felt another shiver of excitement, as I visualized the picture I made: ass in the air, cheeks spread, tied down, with two teenage boys at my body, one of them sniffing my asshole. Once again, being debased was arousing me to a fever pitch of lust. I knew I was getting wetter, without a hand being placed between my legs. But that absence quickly changed. The boy sitting on me reached forward again, this time spreading open my labia. I moaned at the helpless and obscene picture I knew the boys were seeing. The other boy began to touch me between the legs. I felt fingers circling the inner sides of my labia, then rubbing down along the center groove, then back to circling the inner sides, over and over. I could almost have climaxed then, as I knew, knew beyond any doubt, that the boy between my legs was my son. That was the way he always started to play with me, and to tease me, to get me excited. He could seemingly keep doing it forever. He loved to tease me until he had me groaning and writhing uncontrollably. He had the power to make me act like a slut, and he loved to use that power. And I loved to let him see that he did have such power over me. I now showed both boys how completely they could make my body respond to them. I wanted to show them how much I wanted them using me, and having their way with my body. "Paul, I'm letting go of her pussy. There's something else I want to do with her." I felt Billy get off me. I kept the same position, though, ass up in the air, to make myself as available to Paul as I possibly could. Billy slapped me on the ass. "Lift your chest up, Norma." I lifted my chest a few inches off the bed. Billy put his hands under my torso. I felt his fingers close like tentacles over my breasts. He began kneading and squeezing them. He rubbed my nipples, then began pulling them out. I was moaning continuously, from the expert hands of both teenagers. Had Janice been there, she would have seen me living up to her favorite adjective for me, that of slut. I was luxuriating in the myriad sensations the two boys were producing within my helpless body. Paul continued to touch my pussy with one hand, but now began rimming my anus with his other hand. I was moaning and groaning. I was frustrated that my cries were being muffled by the panties stuffed in my mouth. I wanted the kids to hear what they were doing to me. They could see my body's response and, with the wetness flooding my vulva. I knew Paul could now smell it, as well. Paul put a finger slowly and deeply into my anus. He found my clitoris at the same time, and began teasing it with his now expert knowledge of my body, and what it craved and responded to. "Hey, Mom, you want to know something that really turned me on? It was when that one nigger fucked you in the ass. Man, I don't see how he got that huge thing inside this tight hole! You looked like such a whore, letting him do that to you." Paul thrust his finger forcefully into my rectum as he said this. I almost felt like fainting from the excitement his lewd and sadistic comment caused. I remembered how Paul had looked, sitting there during my rape, avidly watching me being sodomized, being fucked in the ass by an enormous black cock. Paul suddenly sped up the motions of his finger on my clitoris. I came to a sudden and unexpected climax. I began thrusting my ass back, to meet the fingers touching my pussy and my asshole. I cried out, through the gag, and continued to buck my hips, until my orgasm spent itself. With a shuddering sigh, I lay my chest back down on the bed. I lay there panting, ass still in the air, submerged in that overwhelming afterglow I always felt after Paul brought me to orgasm. The two boys were laughing. "Goddamn, your mom is a horny slut." "Yeah, I know. She turns on like a faucet. I can't wait to see her come, when a 13 year old kid fucks her." "Do you think we should lay off for awhile?," Billy asked. "If we make her come too much, maybe she won't when Janice's brother fucks her." I shivered in humiliation at Paul's next words, but felt the stirrings of renewed arousal at the same time. "You can't make her come too much, there's no such thing with her. You know what we should do? We should see how often we can make her come, before Janice gets back with Justin. Let's see if you can get her to cream as fast as I did." They both laughed. "OK, then it's my turn. Let me get between her pussy." I felt the boys moving around. "Hey, Norma, how would you like me to eat your pussy? You want to feel my tongue all over this cunt?" As Billy asked his mocking question, he pressed the edge of his hand against the full length of my vulva. I moved my ass back, to press my pussy against his hand. I couldn't believe it, I wanted to be played with again. "Paul, why don't you talk to her some more about watching those black guys fuck her? She seemed to get all excited when you said that." Billy put his tongue on my pussy, and began licking me. He moved it all over me, licking my clitoris, before he opened my vagina with his fingers. He put his tongue inside me, and began rotating it within my vagina. That's when Paul started speaking again. "You know what else I liked about that night, Mom? Remember when you were sitting on that one guy's cock, with your back to him? I loved the way he spread his legs, and the way you looked with your feet on his legs. I've seen dirty pictures before, but I've never seen a beaver shot that was that gross. And then the way he played with your tits, at the same time he was pounding that black meat inside you! You should have seen the look on your face." I cringed inside at the cruelty and obscenity of Paul's description. But the very filth of the image, and the memory of the actual event, had the power to turn me on. Then I remembered what Paul had looked like at that moment, sitting there in front of me, naked, stroking his hand up and down the length of his beautiful young cock, almost in rhythm with the thrusting black cock inside me. And once again, I felt waves of excruciatingly intense pleasure cascading down the length of my pussy, from my clitoris to my vagina. I came, as Billy continued to lick the inside of my vagina. The two boys laughed again. "Man, she is like a faucet," Billy said. What a whore, man!" "Billy, you ready to jack off, and shoot all over her?" "Oh, yeah, am I ever ready! But what I really want to do is fuck her. You think when the kid's done with her, I can use her again?" "Sure, she'd love it, man, you know that." "Good. I want to put my cock in her ass, then I want to fuck her in the mouth. I want her to taste her own asshole on my cock, and then I want to shoot inside her mouth." "Sounds cool. But let's shoot over her now." I was instantly aroused again, by what Billy planned for me later. I would have preferred it happening now. But I was also excited by the prospect of what the boys were now about to do. I had a vivid picture in my mind of the two of them stroking their own cocks, while looking down at me. I shivered at the image of their sperm being ejaculated out of the slit in the knobs of their cocks, and spurting their thick, white fluid over my prone, nude body. I was also excited by another thought: even as they had me in their power, my body had the power to stiffen their cocks, the power to make them come. I felt a secret pleasure, knowing that this recognition of the two way nature of lust would never occur to them. One of the boys sat on my back, facing my ass. The other one pulled my legs back from under my chest, and sat on the backs of my thighs, facing the other boy. I felt the bed begin to shake. They were masturbating. The boy on my back put one hand under my chest, searching for my tit. I lifted my chest off the bed, to assist him. He began to rub my nipple. The other boy put a hand in the crack of my ass, and put his finger in my anus. As they touched me, I felt them increase the speed of their masturbating. Within a couple of minutes, the boy on my back groaned, and I felt him ejaculating on my ass. A minute after that the other boy also ejaculated on me. I was aroused again...no, it's more honest to say that I was still aroused, as I had been ever since Janice left, and the two boys began teasing me. Now, as I lay there, submitting helplessly to the indignity of having been made to climax twice, and having had to endure listening to the contemptuous insults of Paul and Billy, to all of this was added the degradation of having them masturbate themselves until their sperm spurted over my ass. I couldn't see them, of course, but I had a vivid picture in my mind of how their hands had jerked rapidly up and down their teenage cocks, and I could almost see the sperm coming out of the ends of their bulbous knobs. I spread my legs, exposing my pussy, wordlessly inviting them to touch me again, and to humiliate me by another demonstration of their power to compel me to arousal. But it was at this moment that I heard the front door open and close, then Janice's voice, as she entered the bedroom. "Oh, my God, look at the slut now!" Then she laughed. I knew she was laughing at the sperm, now dripping from my ass, down the sides of my hips. I was ashamed. I was humiliated, humiliated at the knowledge that this mean young bitch, who had caused me to be put in this situation, was seeing me this way. Then I also remembered how I had just spread my legs, in invitation to the two boys. My body shuddered, at the degrading picture I now made to this young girl, a girl I was truly beginning to hate. And at the same time, I felt a feverish elation, almost an intoxication, that I was presenting such a salacious spectacle to my son's malicious girlfriend, and that she was lusting in response to the degradation which she had engineered. In some strange way, my very hatred of Janice fueled the lust raging through me, knowing that I was exposed and vulnerable to anything she wanted to do to me. There was an added intensity to the lecherous hunger between my legs, knowing that she hated me, and that I was turning her on by the sight of my powerless, bound body. Then, it hit me. Was I also being seen like this by Janice's 13 year old brother? A wave of revulsion flooded me, a sickening sense of disgust with myself that a young boy was seeing me this way. A 13 year old child was looking at me, a grown woman, nude, bound, gagged, blindfolded, with my legs spread in an obscene invitation to be used. And then, too, I felt a sense of horror, as I realized that I was ready to do whatever Janice demanded, including fucking her young brother. Horror, yes, but a delicious desire, too, as I thought of what it was going to be like, seeing a 13 year old boy's nude body. How big would his cock be? How would it feel inside me? Would he be big enough to make me writhe and moan, and cry out in sluttish lust? It didn't matter, either, because I knew that I would be aroused to a peak by having Paul and Billy watching me being fucked by a child. Above all, Janice would be watching me, as I submitted to her brother's juvenile lust. I knew that as I was servicing her brother, I would simultaneously be surrendering to her domination of me. As I thought of the three of them watching what I would be doing with Justin, my imagination conjured up images of what they would be witnessing. I would take Justin's cock in my hands, and manipulate it to maximum length and hardness. I would put my mouth on him, and suck at the boy's knob. I would let them see my tongue circling the edge of his head, and then they would see my tongue licking up and down the length of his shaft. I felt my vulva wetting itself again, as I imagined their laughter, and their insulting and contemptuous comments, as I serviced the sexual lust of a child. More than anything in the world, I lusted with an overwhelming intensity for Janice and Paul and Billy to see me begging a 13 year old boy to fuck me, and then to see me twisting and bucking my body under the child's, in a shameless and perverted response. I experienced a sudden sense of frustration. I was unable to let Janice know I was ready to capitulate to her demands. With the gag in my mouth, I was powerless to convey to my dominating mistress - and that's what Janice was, now - I couldn't let her know of my willingness to surrender! I spread my legs once again, and once again pulled my knees up to my chest, exposing my pussy and ass to everyone. Please, I thought to myself, understand what I'm trying to tell you! I had to show Janice she was in control of me. I felt a tortured need to submit to her. I needed to degrade myself in front of her. I desperately needed to let her know her triumph over me. But Janice had already thought through the next step in my degradation. She knew how she was going to demonstrate her power over me. I felt the panties suddenly pulled out of my mouth. I took a deep breath. "Justin, this is the slut you're going to fuck. But first, we need to talk her into it." "Wait," I gasped. "Janice, I'll do it, I'll do whatever you want. Please, I'm...sorry, I'm sorry Janice. I'll be good, I'll do whatever you say." I felt giddy, almost dizzy, as I said those words. I was being craven to my son's girlfriend. I was pleading and begging a 15 year old girl, an immature and mean spirited teenager, I was pleading and begging her, so that she would let me fuck her 13 year old brother. I felt hands pull my "blindfold" off. I blinked at the sudden light assaulting my eyes. I looked around, first to my left. There was Justin. He was tall for a 13 year old, and was only a little shorter than Paul. He was looking down at me. His eyes were wide with what seemed to be incredulous wonder, at the sight of a naked and bound adult woman. My ass was still in the air, a lascivious invitation to everyone seeing it, including this child, a child I was about introduce to the world of sex. I took a deep breath. "Please, Janice. Let me fuck your brother. I need a cock, Janice, please." I was turned on even more by pleading with Janice to supply me with a boy. My degradation seemed to know no bounds. "Tell us all exactly what you want, slut." "I want to see his cock, Janice. I want to see it and touch it. I want to put my hands on it, and make it big and hard. I want to see it get long and hard between my hands. I want to smell it. I want to put my mouth on it. I want to taste it. I want it fucking my mouth. Then I want it in my pussy. I want it shoot inside me. I want it to fuck me in the ass, I want it to fuck me so hard in my asshole that it will hurt. I want him touching my tits. I want to feel him squeezing my tits. I want him playing with my nipples, and then I want him sucking my nipples. Please, Janice, let me fuck him. I'll be good to him, I'll do anything he wants. I'll do anything you want." There was a moment of stunned silence following my obscene outburst. "Is it ok if we watch, slut?," Janice asked sarcastically. "Yes, I want you all to watch. I want you all to see what a slut I am. You're right, Janice, I am a slut. I deserve to be treated like one. But I need to be fucked, Janice, please, don't make me wait." I pictured the way I must look to them, as I said all this. Naked, my ass stuck up in the air, my vulva and anus open to their view, still sticky from the sperm of Paul and Billy. I had reached a perfect peak of degradation. "OK, Justin, this slut is all yours. We'll give you some pointers on what really makes her act like a whore." "Janice, are you...will you untie me, please?" "No, slut. You stay like that for right now. As a matter of fact, Billy, Paul, gag and blindfold this cunt again." And just like that, I was once more completely helpless. Then Justin came over, and my degradation started all over again.
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