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Capture and Training Facility
Author: Sir_Bor
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(Added on Oct 8, 2008)
(This month 106336 readers) (Total 148751 readers) |
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The setting is a slave training facility located in a remote area. Through its leader, Tom, we learn about the facility and see some of the training methods used to produce quality slaves for their Masters and Mistresses. The slaves are trained hard and punished for every infraction. It is a hard school but the results speak for themselves. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 7 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (6/10) |
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| Reviewer:
satincuffs
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 19, 2010 |
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This story has a very intriguing premise, and characters that "feel real" enough to put myself in their feet. The grammatical and editing aspects sometimes take away from it. This story could easily be an 8 with a little editing. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
Chuckdom19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 13, 2008 |
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The story is ok, with an interesting premise, but it is in dire need of editing. Many wrong words (steal for steel, for example) and grammar problems. If you wish good ratings, it is important that the story be easy and fun to read. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
masterdw
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 12, 2008 |
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Ok , They restored the right chapter 2's to each of us. My story will focus on one master and one slave/trainee. You deal with an entire facility. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
littleone_
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 12, 2008 |
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I think the title and prolog misrepresent the story. It is a water sport story and that's all it really is. What is there is well written but it lacks variety and has a singular focus. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 9, 2008 |
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so far so good (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
Falcon
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 9, 2008 |
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I agree with review of a.broadsword. Chapter 1 has good concept and delicious detail of water sport and slavery. Author's explanation that he did not write Chapter 2 makes sense. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
a.broadsword
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 8, 2008 |
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The first chapter is brilliant, great conceptualisation. 10/10
But it is as if Ch 2 is by a different writer, nothing like as good, written as female first person and male first person mixed up very confusing.
Perhaps an explanatory paragraph should have prefaced Ch2. (9/10)
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- Replied by:
sirbor
(Edit) (Oct 8, 2008)
- Thank you for your kind review. I think that the reason it appears that chapter 2 is written by another author is because that is the case. I did not write chapter 2. I have sent an email to the webmaster letting him know about this mistake. It would be wrong for me to get credit for someone else's work.
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