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I belong to him
Author: BJojomogo
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(Added on Jul 6, 2008)
(This month 17686 readers) (Total 40346 readers) |
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Silly infatuated schoolgirl falls for the local no-good, with dire cosequences. If you have a daughter, let it be a warning to her |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 8 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (7/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (8/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (5/10) |
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 20, 2009 |
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I can't see how a girl would stay 'infatuated' for two years. In that time, it either turns into love, or it dies...
But I liked the story.
JJ (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
rebelwolfen
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 20, 2008 |
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very enjoyable.not much of an ending.however,it was a very interesting description, of the fall of innocence,and rise of servitude. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
fellatrix
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 20, 2008 |
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An interesting story, written more in the nature of conveying the progression of the protagonist's situation than explicit descriptions of events, but that's enjoyable to read and to imagine.
The ending spoils the story a little. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
Shibari
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 18, 2008 |
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I hope you plan on adding more to it. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
Elkor
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 17, 2008 |
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It needs to be fleshed out. This works well as a summary for a longer piece, but by itself isn't really satisfying. It reads more as an essay than a story. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 12, 2008 |
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so far so good, i hope you plan to add more (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
heycarrieanne
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 12, 2008 |
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Your story has great premise, but the formatting distracts from the content. Maybe this isn't your issue, but the websites; whichever the case, it needs to be corrected. You need paragraphs, correct grammar, and proper sentences complete with punctuation. Cleaned up, I would give you a 9 or 10 easily. (5/10)
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- Replied by:
BJojomogo
(Edit) (Jul 21, 2008)
- Thank you for your review. I am always interested in comments on my sties. However, I do not need a grammar lesson. This story was written in character by a silly suicidal girl, not b one of my professsors at Oxford where I got an English degree before you were born. I am sorry if the subtlety of this was too much for you. Format not my problem, Spelling, a couple of typos, (I don't type)and maybe a couple of English/American spellings. Yours was the only review written as an ego trip. Please do not repeat.
- Replied by:
BJojomogo
(Edit) (Jul 21, 2008)
- See, I can't even type stories correctly.
- Replied by:
JimmyJump
(Edit) (Jan 20, 2009)
- Yes you can...
There's an easy way around the "no-paragraphs" thing. Simply copy the entire text to, for example, notepad, and the original formatting will magically appear.
JJ
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| Reviewer:
slavenaomi57
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 7, 2008 |
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hi that was a brilliant story i hope that you will be doing another story (8/10)
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