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| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 4 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (6/10) |
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| Reviewer:
DeGrinch
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 28, 2008 |
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Well written, good grammar, etc. makes it easy to read. A little more interaction between the characters would be good. Ends a little soon, I hope to see more. Keep up the good work. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
H Dean
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 25, 2008 |
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This is an oft attempted story line that, unless told in a superior manner and with extremely fresh or erotic notions, doesn't really fly too well. As a consequence, I found that this tale left me flat, though I was impressed that this story didn't get too outlandish. That was part was original and actually made me curious to see more.
*There was also a tremendous amount of halting and unimaginative sentences. The flow was, consequently, very stilted and severely hampered the erotic qualities of the tale.
*There were also technical deficiencies in this story which need to be addressed - the word "alot", which is non-existant, was one glaring example. The other gaffes tended to be periods within quotes that was followed by a "he said", or some such. For future reference, someone talking should be followed with a comma, the quotation mark and then the "he said". Example: "The dog is sitting," he said."
*Finally, this is not a bad attempt. I merely think this tale needs to be cleaned up a bit - edited for technical gaffes and restructured somewhat. Also, my comment on how often used this story line is should not stop you from using any story line. How many original plot lines are tehre, after all? The trick, Dennis, is making the old into something new, something you almost succeeded in doing. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
pascals75
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 24, 2008 |
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Please, impatient to read more of you!!
Hope it will become "worst" for this still fresh bitch! (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
SimonMagick
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 22, 2008 |
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wow -- please cuntinue this story. humiliate the bitch more! ;) (10/10)
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