| 
     
 
   
    | Ratings and Reviews: | 
   
   
    | Number 
      of Ratings: 6 | 
    
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
  | 
 
| 1 | 
2 | 
3 | 
4 | 
5 | 
6 | 
7 | 
8 | 
9 | 
10 | 
 
| 0% | 
0% | 
0% | 
17% | 
33% | 
33% | 
17% | 
0% | 
0% | 
0% | 
 
 
 | 
   
   
     Weighed
      Average (?):  (5.5/10) | 
   
   
    Average 
      Rating:  (5.5/10) | 
   
   
    Highest 
      Rating:  (7/10) | 
   
   
    Lowest 
      Rating:  (4/10) | 
   
 
 
 
   
     | 
     | 
     | 
     | 
   
   
    | Reviewer: 
    Razor7826
  (Edit)     | 
    Rating:  | 
    Jan 3, 2008 | 
   
   
    |   | 
        The formatting, grammatical errors, and obviously missing words make this extremely difficult to read.    It is hard to follow the characters actions or understand their characterization without proper formatting.  Furthermore, I think doing so will allow you to analyze your own work better so that you may address the subtler problems. EDIT: Oh, and you really need story codes.  There are often unpleasant surprises in stories that lack codes (snuff or torture, namely) that many readers won't risk reading unlabeled submissions. (4/10) 
     | 
   
 
 
   
     | 
     | 
     | 
     | 
   
   
    | Reviewer: 
    ec1818
  (Edit)     | 
    Rating:  | 
    Nov 21, 2007 | 
   
   
    |   | 
        it was a good story but i would like to read the rest of it if there is one thank you (7/10) 
     | 
   
 
 
   
     | 
     | 
     | 
     | 
   
   
    | Reviewer: 
    heycarrieanne
  (Edit)     | 
    Rating:  | 
    Nov 16, 2007 | 
   
   
    |   | 
        Perhaps English is not your first language?  Your sentence structure is awful as is your formatting.  You don't seem to have a clue what constitutes a paragraph or how to write a conversation that has proper punctuation.  Your story idea and you topic are both good but don't quite make it. (5/10) 
     | 
   
 
 
   
     | 
     | 
     | 
     | 
   
   
    | Reviewer: 
    ladychipmunk
  (Edit)     | 
    Rating:  | 
    Nov 10, 2007 | 
   
   
    |   | 
        I really liked the story. However it was hard to read with the repeated "I said"s. Maybe some quotation marks would help. I also think some proof reading is in order.  (5/10) 
     | 
   
 
 
   
     | 
     | 
     | 
     | 
   
   
    | Reviewer: 
    bbwsfslut
  (Edit)     | 
    Rating:  | 
    Nov 10, 2007 | 
   
   
    |   | 
        I liked your fantasy and storyline. You need some proof-reading and that could improve it.  (6/10) 
     | 
   
 
 
   
     | 
     | 
     | 
     | 
   
   
    | Reviewer: 
    mkemse
  (Edit)     | 
    Rating:  | 
    Nov 7, 2007 | 
   
   
    |   | 
        not bad for a basic story but no real shick value, nothingi have not read nother stories, no original (6/10) 
     | 
   
 
 | 
     
       |