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Becoming an Unwilling Sex Slave
Author: Justin
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(Added on Oct 24, 2007)
(This month 2 readers) (Total 36197 readers) |
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This story deals with a woman/women raping a single male. Involves beastiality, orgasm torture, orgasm denial, forced orgasm, rape, bondage, humiliation and more. This story is currently not finished but wanted to see what your thoughts were before finishing. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 3 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6/10) |
Average
Rating:  (6.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (7/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (5/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Fred55
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 24, 2010 |
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Some interpretation is required. The beginning of the scene is quite a phantasy: dry ass fingering with a blowjob. Then, the machine fucking. Then, the dogs. What does this mean? Most of the elements of the story indicate a homosexual interest. The strap-on, the machine, and the dogs each refer symbolically to homosexual behavior. Why is the female necessary, what attributes does she offer to the scene? She may be the interest that brought you to the sex shop, but her role ends there and "she may as well be a transvestite male." It is difficult to construct a femdom scene that does not crossover into homosexual interests, or that does so explicitly. For example, if the "girls" that enter the scene are actually guys, then the scene takes a more explicit, and perhaps more realistic, turn. To maintain femdom focus, considerably more bondage and sadistic whipping is necessary; strapon and dildo use is an invitation to homosexual behavior. Why not create a more bisexual cast. If the mistress really enjoys the strapon fucking position, what does she say or how does she do it. What makes her role reversal interesting to her? What would the males say - what kind of dialogue would occur between the strapon laden mistresses and the gay males. Would you make them tops or switches? How would the mistresses treat them? There is also a lack of proper positioning; it is not clear the positions and postures that the mistress and the slave take. More description is necessary. Rebonding takes time, or does it, how do make the scene changes efficient? Another element that is missing is the price or cost. This scene seems very very expensive and long, but how long and how expensive. Is there some place you had in mind where this actually or even partially could occur? Lastly, along these same lines, what are the motives of the mistresses; how have you constructed the mistresses mindset and value orientation to justify these attitudes and behaviors. How did they know to do the things they do: are they independent are are they following a set of rules expected by someone else? Just some things to consider. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
tersaty
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 2, 2007 |
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Good story, would have said great if the dog part was missing. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
avidreader
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 25, 2007 |
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So far so good as a story goes, your grammar leads something to be desired. Keep seeing texttype it it though: b4(before) ur(you are), i hate that. But overall it was okay :) (7/10)
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