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Ms Ann breaks another Black Buck
Author: Rick 1
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(Added on Mar 2, 2007)
(This month 61997 readers) (Total 86510 readers) |
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White southern prison system implement a Mind control unit center for unruley Blacks booth men and woman.John Hall & his wife Ms ANN the Blond big breasted racist woman run the center |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 5 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (8/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (1/10) |
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| Reviewer:
bullfinch
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 27, 2009 |
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Ms Ann is so non PC - AND SO GOOD. More, please. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
shoeps
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 22, 2007 |
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First class! Let us have more of that stuff!How about Ms Ann and some female overseers guard some slaves working their guts out on turning mills or pulling carriages or ploughs!Thank you in advance!
Christian (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
ElectricBadger
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 2, 2007 |
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I get the basic concept behind the work, and this can definitely be improved if the author wishes to work at it, but it'll take some work.
First, any work published should at least go through a spellcheck; most of the issues could be solved in a few minutes with Word. The capitalization of random names was also pretty confusing to me. Finally, structurally this introduction needs to work AS an introduction: describe the situation, the characters, the setting and then move into the story. If you're going to move directly into the action, make it the Action -- right now I'm left just as confused as the five scientists!!! (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
Phedra
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 2, 2007 |
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i'm sorry, i hate to do it, if it were just some minor grammatical errors I wouldnt, but the story could be a good one if only the author had taken the time to proof read it. Almost every sentence has several MAJOR errors in it, and it makes the story nearly unreadable. once again very sorry, to give a bad review, but critisism is a very good teacher, if its taken, and given in the right spirit. Keep at it. With work this could be a good story. (1/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 2, 2007 |
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the first part was too shot to pass any justice to the content of the story (4/10)
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