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Visit to the Stable Factory
Author: gorgeous
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(Added on Mar 1, 2007)
(This month 52578 readers) (Total 66517 readers) |
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Tom and his father steve, is taking tom to the stable factory, to aquire his first very own slave, that will become his property for life, regardless of the price |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 6 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5.5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (5.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (7/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (2/10) |
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| Reviewer:
tbear4759
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 4, 2007 |
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gawd awful spelling and grammaical errors. even in your comments you spell badly. (2/10)
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| Reviewer:
masostud
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 1, 2007 |
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Not bad for the author's first story, till now still a bit tame/harmless, but it could be improved. Go on, continue your story, author! (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
npatek
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 5, 2007 |
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I like your story. You describe well how the slave is doomed and suffering. I think it's important to use a lot of direct speech, to make a story dramatic and enthralling, like you start to do. Keep on, you will get better over time. (7/10)
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- Replied by:
gorgeous
(Edit) (Mar 7, 2007)
- Thank you for your kind words, i have only begun writing but will continue, as you said i can only get better over time
cheers
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| Reviewer:
Lee Boudine
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 1, 2007 |
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Nicely written in a very British, Victorian way. It is a bit subdued for a rough and ready American pervert's tastes. As a writer, the author has latent potential. I suggest you keep on writing. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
Bigferal
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 1, 2007 |
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A good first try although grammatically wrong nothing to ruin the thread of the story. I hope to see more from this author in future. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
Rocky
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 1, 2007 |
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Rather a disappointment thus far, with the large number of grammatical errors making it worse. You need to figure out the difference between "your" and "you're;" "there," "their," and "they're," for example. Also...you don't use an apostrophe (that little ' thingie) to show plural... one apple, two apples...not two apple's...not that apple was the word you used, but an example to show you want I'm talking about. The dialogue was also...I don't know how to describe it other than saying it was unnatural. Do people actually talk like your characters do? Unless they're in Buckingham Palace, I doubt it. (5/10)
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- Replied by:
gorgeous
(Edit) (Mar 7, 2007)
- hmmm, i feel you are a very crude reviewr, please don't patronise me about apostrophies. You only seem to be interested in punctuation and iteracy skills. People read these sotries because the enjoy the erotic element where not on www.apostrophe4commas.com get with the times matey
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