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Breaking girls
Author: Hype
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(Added on Sep 1, 2006)
(This month 75233 readers) (Total 170178 readers) |
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For business and pleasure, a rich entrepreneur uses various methods to capture and turn beautiful girls into sexual playthings. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 16 |
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| 0% |
0% |
6% |
13% |
19% |
6% |
6% |
19% |
19% |
13% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7/10) |
| Average
Rating: (7/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (3/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Misschief
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 8, 2012 |
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Like 20% was enjoyable.. Gotta learn better beginnings and endings.. You had an alright idea; minus the psychtropics.. They seemed TOTALLY out of place.. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
Losalt
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 22, 2010 |
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A nice start but it's a common plot without anything really setting it apparat..
If you like the story type you might as well read this story too (if the author choose to finish it)
But if it's not spot on your kink, don't bother..
There's other stories that's more exciting out there that can broaden your kink horizon :-)
To the author:
Don't worry about the bad reviews.
The story don't have anything that makes it shine over other stories like it, but there's not really all that many things that set it apart as a worse story either.
And it is a fairly good start.
Continue writing, eventually you'll get better at writing and if you also can come up with something a bit more original you'll get good reviews I'm sure. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
grinner666
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 6, 2008 |
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Very hot, but the author needs to learn some basic rules of spelling and punctuation. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
crikey_2004
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 5, 2008 |
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Looking forward to part 3. Great imagination. Keep up the good work. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
ramses
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 1, 2007 |
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Although the plot isn't very original, the story is very well written. I hope the next chapter will follow soon. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
yosaure
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 1, 2006 |
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Please, continue (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Engineer
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 5, 2006 |
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To say it polite: This story has much potential for improvement. The formatting is terrible to read, the text full of mistakes. The outline is very well-known, with an implementation not able to generate actual excitement. I stopped reading before the end. (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
Millie
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 3, 2006 |
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This is a common storyline and regrettably it has nothing to raise it above all the others. The errors in it only make it harder to read and enjoy. It needs quite a bit of work to make it worth a higher rating. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
cala
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 3, 2006 |
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I gave a rating of 3 to this story, yet I can not comment on content. In it's current state it is unreadable.
Sorry, I'm a critic. I'll try my best to be gentle. ;)
Long, uniniterrupted passages of text are hellish to read. White spaces allow readers to keep track within the lines, and avoid crossed eyes.
Dialogue without correct punctuation can be confusing. Plus, if sunk in the middle of a paragraph, all impact is lost!
Please keep writing, and trying to improve. If you were inspired by other writers on this site, then you can pay them no greater compliment than to reach for their standards of writing. (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 3, 2006 |
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Gotta agree with Curtis on this one. Not terribly sexy, jerky, sentence fragments and incomplete thoughts.
Not one I'd recommend without some major work on it. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
Curtis
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 2, 2006 |
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You have got to be kidding me. Were the other reviewers reading the same story? And, by the way, 'were' is spelled w-e-r-e, not w-h-e-r-e. (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
mike uk reader
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 2, 2006 |
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This is erotic fiction at it's very best and must read for all connoisseurs to this site.
Looking out for more chapters very soon.
Without any doubt the best story placed in weeks. (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
bluebanana
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 1, 2006 |
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A fantastic start, it is well written and I will look forward to the next installment. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 1, 2006 |
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do not give out a 10 very often on first chapter posts but this is great (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
slutsteph
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 1, 2006 |
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What a delicious start, Sir! girl hopes more detail is given on breaking the new girls, including their thoughts and humiliation. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
heycarrieanne
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 1, 2006 |
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Nicely written story. I am eager to read more!! (8/10)
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