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Cindy bite\'s of more than she can chew
Author: Ab Used666
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(Added on Jun 2, 2006)
(This month 53630 readers) (Total 66169 readers) |
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Teenage Cindy overhears some older girls chatting about something and she decides to be curious, she soon finds out that there are some things she shouldn\'t be too nosy about |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 4 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5.5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (5.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (8/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (1/10) |
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| Reviewer:
jip
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 7, 2006 |
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Nice erotic story from a girl who has a lot of questions. The subject gives an opportunity to write abouit othe questions and learnings she has to go through.
Don't worry about the quote of the bondage nuts guy. His brains are as limited as his comments. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
oldwino
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 6, 2006 |
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I hope this is the start of a series. chapter one could have been a decent stand alone story. The tease was the one line chapter two. will thier be more? I knoow several UPS and FEDEX drivers. They don't pay for sex. The company keeps them on a a tight schedule. I 've ridden with them. Thhey can only fuck one ot two a day of all the offers by not taking real lunch breaks. The most a UPS guy would have given her would be twenty. Small detail. Repairmen do better. Hope this is a many chapter story . (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Lisa Jones
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 3, 2006 |
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It's a nice start, but you really need to do some proof reading. There are far too may spelling and punctuation mistakes which put the reader off, simple things like a semi-colon used where an apostraphe was required - yes, the keys are next to each other on the keyboard, so it's a simple typo but you really ought to fix them first. If you use MS Word the the spelling and grammar checkers will help considerably.
Please, don't let this put you off posting part 2, if you can just fix the presentation you'll get far better reviews! (5/10)
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- Replied by:
DAF
(Edit) (Jun 4, 2006)
- Lisa: I wish you could have made an example with your review.
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