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Ritual
Author: Ecthelion
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(Added on Jan 31, 2006)
(This month 51575 readers) (Total 57695 readers) |
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a priestess taken through a sexual ritual |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 3 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (7/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (6/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Dododecapod
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 1, 2006 |
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Bravo! Truly, well done!
The second person is, in my opinion, the most difficult tense in which to write well, and you have done a great job in this case, enticing the reader to become one with the subject, and proving the strength which the immediacy of this tense grants. That was an exceptional accomplishment.
Unfortunately, that accomplishment was badly let down by one aspect of the piece. While your grammar, if unexceptional, was good, your spelling was barely adequate, your punctuation left much to be desired. Dropped apostrophes, misplaced commas and at least one totally missed word made the act of reading a chore, rather than a pleasure.
Your writing is very good; but without proper editing, it will never be appreciated as it should be. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
jip
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 1, 2006 |
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Sensual erotic story. Wud like to participate at such a ceremony. Look forward to see a follow up story of this.. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 1, 2006 |
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An OK story. Second person stories are hard to write, and you seem to mostly handle it well, but slips to a different person here and there, which makes it harder to read. A few grammatical errors here and there, but a fine start. A gentle, fresh story, and a fine tale. (6/10)
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