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Working Toward Longer
Author: denialqueen
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(Added on Jan 10, 2006)
(This month 53738 readers) (Total 70993 readers) |
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Based on a true situation, a weekend becomes eternity after Jamie spends a weekend with Madam. She blackmails him into being her sexslave and domestic servant and spends years training him in orgasm control... NO ORGASMS ! |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 1 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (4.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (4/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (4/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (4/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Wistan
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 17, 2006 |
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A fair story overall, but somewhat flawed. It gets going straight away, and the situation is a reasonably good one - though it seems like a mistake to claim that this is based on a true situation, because that seems incredibly unlikely.
A couple of things nagged at me. For instance the guy is being blackmailed, but he has no idea how the woman knows what she does. How is this possible? The police would need evidence to lock him up, and she would have to show him that evidence to make her threat work. So how can he not know how she knows?
That's a small thing, but it's symptomatic - the story is really too short for the tale it's trying to tell, and as a result a lot of the detail is glossed over. You just get a blow by blow account "she did this, then I did that, then she told me this..." I was wishing for some dialogue, a little elaboration on how the characters are thinking or feeling. (4/10)
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