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Water Park Slut Author: od4os
(Added on Oct 1, 2005) (This month 50716 readers) (Total 64032 readers)
A 22 year-old Thai girl is willingly abused by her boyfriend and an unknown 15 year-old boy at a Bangkok water park.

Ratings and Reviews:
Number of Ratings: 11
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0% 0% 0% 9% 0% 27% 18% 27% 9% 9%
Weighed Average (?): (7/10)
Average Rating: (7.5/10)
Highest Rating: (10/10)
Lowest Rating: (4/10)

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Reviewer: c-black (Edit) Rating: Nov 30, 2006
Excellent, execllent. Very satisfying. Clear, direct and _hot_. Perfect just the way it is. I cannot find any better words to express my delight so I will stop here. I highly recommend this one to anyone. (10/10)

Reviewer: jip (Edit) Rating: Feb 23, 2006
Right, the story is sexy and that is most important. I simply liked it. (9/10)

Reviewer: Delaquoi (Edit) Rating: Oct 15, 2005
I'm with Ella on this. To my mind the only objective of style is to help you tell a clear, persuasive story. Here the simplicity of the writing was a perfect fit with the theme. I liked it a lot. I do think it might be better to use standard dialogue formatting - when people see unfamiliar punctuation the risk is they get distracted from the content. (8/10)
Replied by: od4os (Edit) (Oct 16, 2005)
As the author of this story I would like to explain that English is not my mother tongue, hence the possible bland style of writing and the non-academic punctuation and dialogue formatting.
Then again, I believe there are more people who come here looking for a text that will make a pleasant wanking session than for the next Nobel prize winner... :)
Thanks for your reviews.

Reviewer: ella (Edit) Rating: Oct 5, 2005
The story was well written and a certain simplicity actually only added to its value in my opinion. It was a narration of the events and I am not sure what "style" the author was expected to demonstrate according to some other reviewers. Quite often I am disappointed by the stories that enjoy high rating - the so-called "style" and unnecessary embellishments and long boring descriptions seem to overshadow the plot and the concept of the stories. This story doesn't disappoint - it has simplicity, imagination and is perfectly complete. It is in many ways quite refreshing. (8/10)

Reviewer: Elkor (Edit) Rating: Oct 4, 2005
Interesting punctuation style.
Nice story line. (6/10)

Reviewer: H Dean (Edit) Rating: Oct 4, 2005
The writing style was simple and straight forward. So much so that it seemed to lack any style and I felt as if I were reading a teenagagers first foray into erotica. Further, the hyphens in place of quotations I found to be rather annoying. Finally, I found the story to be rather lifeless and lacking spark, likely due to the simplistic writing style.
**You should include "pedophilia" as a description code when including sexual contact between adults and teens. (6/10)

Reviewer: DeGrinch (Edit) Rating: Oct 4, 2005
Well written. Reads easily, a real plus in a short story. Charactor development was good for the main charactor. (8/10)

Reviewer: dav4jon (Edit) Rating: Oct 2, 2005
I too, like 'tee', found the story to my taste and quite for the same reasons as the mental part of BDSM — ie. consensual humiliation and exhibition — is what I like best.
(And yes, Tiffany Love, keep your narrow-mindedness to yourself.) (7/10)

Reviewer: tee (Edit) Rating: Oct 1, 2005
Unlike your other two (so far) reviewers, I thought this to be quite a comendable story, especially as someone's first posting.
But then, I found this story to be strong on elements that I like - consensual humiliation and exhibition, for example, the more conceptial and intentional aspects of BDSM play. My imagination can fill in all the blanks well enough, and in fact, this story provides the right level of description in my mind, and just the right amount of space to let my mind wander.
I hope to read more from this author. (7/10)

Reviewer: mkemse (Edit) Rating: Oct 1, 2005
story was ok not great not terrible about average (6/10)

Reviewer: tiffany love (Edit) Rating: Oct 1, 2005
Stay away from Pedophilia. Make your carachters over 18. And add more description (4/10)
Replied by: rolf palsy (Edit) (Oct 1, 2005)
I believe the minimum recommended age for characters on this site is 13! Don't superimpose your narrow views on those who write.

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