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A Policeman's Story
Author: jaythepoliceman
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(Added on Jun 28, 2005)
(This month 52360 readers) (Total 71074 readers) |
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A police officer catches a teen trying to smuggle alcahol across state lines. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 4 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6/10) |
| Average
Rating: (6/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (7/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (5/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Sabrina
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 26, 2005 |
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I had high hopes when I began to read this story because it started off quite well ~ blackmail, coercion and abuse of power being favourite themes of mine. But I felt that it soon took a downward spiral and so I was ultimately disappointed. I'm afraid that it lacked substance, good characterisation, depth or description. But then, to my mind it was about a half to a third of it's potential length, which meant that where themes could have been developed further and with more of a titillating lead-up, the story ended up being rushed and crude. In particular, I felt that the teen-age girl's awful dilemma, and her mental anguish at both the prospect and reality of having to reluctantly choose to sacrifice her precious virginity in order to retain her liberty wasn't fully explored, whilst the act of violation itself could have been far more lucidly described from BOTH perspectives. It also seemed to forget it's origins, and so the themes of coercion and intimidation were lost altogether. I'm not trying to be destructive, or even saying that I didn't like the story ~ as far as it went ~ and I really wouldn't have bothered to post a review if I hadn't thought it worth commenting on, I just feel that with a little more loving care, it could so easily have been a whole lot MORE enjoyable. But keep writing ~ please. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
lex ludite
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 29, 2005 |
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This little distasteful effort isn't good and it isn't bad, it's average. There is nothing new here, and the policeman doesn't seem to have any redeeming features. The grammar could use some work, too many incomplete sentences and like so many budding writers the author's dependence on spell check has produced some laughable words. Her tits peaked instead of peeked from her shirt, being my favorite. Throw an extra "e" and you get here instead of her. I think you have the picture. The way to become a good author is to write, rewrite and then write some more. You have taken the first of many steps that we all go through before we get the hang of this inexact art form called writing. Keep at it and don't be discouraged by this critique, it happens to us all, and most of us deserve them. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 29, 2005 |
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it started out realy hot, i hope if you continue this story you go back to the way it started (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
max31uk
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 29, 2005 |
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I really enjoyed it. It will be a little short for some peoples taste, but as a 'quickie' it did everything I'd want. I'll look out for more of your stories (7/10)
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