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Life at M. A.
Author: Joe Blow
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(Added on Jan 24, 2005)
(This month 13131 readers) (Total 38857 readers) |
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about my life at private school and how i got to be a slave. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 7 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (2.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (2/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (3/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (1/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Dryhill
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 24, 2012 |
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This story is so badly written it should be removed from this site. (1/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 5, 2008 |
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great premise for a story, but the terrible english and spell checking made it almost imposssible to read (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
25toLife
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 9, 2006 |
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"Robyn's breast we're stretch out so much that they had grown 10 times they normal size witch caused Robyn extreme pain"
Umm, be realistic, young man. (1/10)
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| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 29, 2005 |
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If English is not your native language, I apologize in advance.
That said, this story seems to be written by a 13 year old who never paid attention in English or Spelling class.
1) The first item had a clamp at each end, each clamp had sharp points on each them, she attacked one clamp onto my left nipple it hurt like hell but before I could scream Mrs Melissa shoved a ball in my mouth and secured it be hide my head, at the same time Mistress Alyssa attacked the other clamp to my right nipple I screamed but no sound got passed that ball.
This is a sentence? This is 5 or 6 sentences!
The WHOLE story is like this.
"She put in to plugs one went in my pussie and one in me ass........to keep me from going to the bathroom."
I hate to tell you, young man, (and this is the reason I am 99.9% sure this is some kid writing) but women do not urinate from their "pussie", it comes from a small hole above the Vagina called the urethra. Without a cathater and an experienced medical worker, you can't block the urine flow. And, by the way, it's called a 'pussy'. Like a little cat, OK?
This abomination (look it up in the dictionary) is so bad I couldn't finish it all. The errors were too distracting. You need to find someone who's bothered to learn to spell and write English to help edit your stories you wish to submit, as no one will read this mish-mosh.
Don't get me wrong, you have some fair ideas, and some parts of the story have some fair tortures, etc. But the editing/spelling/punctuation MUST be taken care of first, before posting.
(1/10)
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| Reviewer:
redEva
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 28, 2005 |
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the story idea is good, but:
Attacked = The act or an instance of attacking; an assault. (word you wanted was Attached- To fasten, secure, or join: attached the wires to the post)
Leach = To empty; drain (you wanted Leash)
Witch = A believer or follower of Wicca; a Wiccan (you wanted which - What particular one or ones: Which of these is yours?)
use this: http://dictionary.reference.com it is free, and get someone to proofread story before you post.
(1/10)
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| Reviewer:
bisarah
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 24, 2005 |
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I sincerely hope that English isn't your first language because your spelling and grammar is just awful. Please get a good dictionary and a grammar book to help you learn how to write a proper sentence. The idea behind your story might have been a good one, but I could not get past the poor writing. (2/10)
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| Reviewer:
Darcprince
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 24, 2005 |
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I heard of this wondeful program called spell check...you should use it very often before publishing your next story...also try proof reading the story before you submit it for others to read.I couldn't allow myself to get past the third paragraph. (3/10)
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