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A Good Head For Business
Author: sarijak
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(Added on Dec 4, 2003)
(This month 23503 readers) (Total 59225 readers) |
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Kim is a struggling writer who has found a nice business opportunity fuelling the fantasies of others with pictures and tapes. Everything is going nicely, until someone approaches her with an interesting business proposition, and Alice is not going to take no for an answer. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 10 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8/10) |
| Average
Rating: (8/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (6/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Dryhill
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 16, 2010 |
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We get some feeling for the girl, but her multiple personalities seems a bit strange. When Alice appears for the second time, the story seems to pick up pace, perhaps moving to quickly to the end.
However still an enjotyable read. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
themaneloco
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 4, 2006 |
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I liked this a lot, especially the ending. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
T-Luv
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 3, 2004 |
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Holy shit, that was good. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 7, 2004 |
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almost nothing better the F/f blackmail ect. ect (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
jbowler65
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 20, 2004 |
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Very interesting story. The only complaint is that there was a lack of description after Alice enters the scene. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
kittenfemme
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 15, 2003 |
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I agree with Moggy on all counts but the ending. I rather like it left off to my imagination as to where the story goes. Bravo! (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Moggy
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 8, 2003 |
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This was enjoyable and well-written, as Sarijak's stories invariably are. I particularly liked reading the dialogue sections.
Ok, so here's my complaint: We have another Sarijak story that ends with a character sold off into slavery. Can we have a story about what happens AFTER they are sold into slavery next please? (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
julise
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 8, 2003 |
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This was a clever idea, but I think that the story lacked in many areas. The writing was too shallow. I didn't feel for either one of the characters and for some reason I just had a hard time accepting the multiple personalities bit. I do like how the story turned out, and I think that there is potential here, but right now the writing lacks style and depth. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
Alex Bragi
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 5, 2003 |
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This is a wickedly erotic and original (well I certainly haven’t seen it before), idea for a story. Only for me, and bear in mind this is just my opinion, the telling didn't quite sizzle like I thought it could have and should have.
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E.g. ‘Normally her clients tried to dress everything up …’ I’m a nosey reader, like most in here, I would have loved to read all about her clients little fetishes and warped fantasies. And how about that sample letter? Oh boy I would love to have read that! Or her schoolgirl uniform? I guarantee you would have every red blooded, seeing, breathing male reading your story salivating while reading a description of her wearing one of those!
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Unfortunately, for me, I felt just a little bit too teased here. As I read it was like - Oh yes, here comes a hot and juicy bit’, but it never did.
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E.g. “She was going to be raped.” Sure, I realise this was going on in her head, and there are a couple of brief lines of description, but how exactly was she fantasizing about it happening? Was he going to rip her pretty little blouse off? Was her going grope at her young and tender breasts with his rough hands? Was he going to ram his big fat fucking cock up her tight virgin ass? Readers want the answers to these things and more. Clearly you are capable of writing well, so don’t hold back Sarijak. Frighten me! Shock me! Make me so hot and bothered I sweat as I read! (7/10)
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