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Working in a Womens Prison
Author: neverman
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(Added on Jul 31, 2003)
(This month 66269 readers) (Total 88429 readers) |
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A man gets a job in a female prison and suffers as the inmates blackmail and abuse him. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 4 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (8/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (3/10) |
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| Reviewer:
bdsmbill
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 8, 2005 |
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Well, I am in the middle on this one. The concept and story are fine, and the author has a great imagination. The problem is writing skill. However, I want to tell the author why he is lucky. You can develop the writing skills with a bit of work, but if you don't have the imagination to start with, there is no way to develop that. You have the talent. Now you just need to learn to use the language. A quick tip: Make your paragraphs a lot shorter. Yours are too long for print, and something intended to be read on a computer screen needs paragraphs even shorter. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
ron8nl
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 5, 2003 |
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Very stimulating. I actually loved the end best. Why don't you go further from their? (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Emily
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 2, 2003 |
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I am sure there is a good story here trying to get out, unfortunately, the blocks of text and the cumbersome nature of it are getting in the way. It needs some work. (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
lex ludite
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 31, 2003 |
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I am a devotee of stories like this that are over the top and run to excess. Unfortunately a good concept (the shoe is on the other foot, so to speak) and an excellent ending (sort of like being condemned to hell on earth)is totally ruined by the terrible, stilted dialogue, and a never ending assault on the english language and its rules of grammar. This could have been something very good if the author had engaged the services of a decent editor. (3/10)
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