Learning to Trust

Learning to Trust

 

 

I had always managed to attract the type of man who would eventually use his fists instead of his mouth to solve his problems.  The latest loser had just left me in a heap outside a bar, my mouth split and a trickle of blood running down my chin.  To make things worse, he had just driven off in my car with my bag inside, which meant I had no money, no ID and no way of getting home. I was just trying to get to my feet, when a hand was offered to help me up.  I looked up to see a well-dressed man holding out his hand to me, and I thought I might as well let him help me.

 

“Love, are you ok?”  I looked at the stranger that was still holding my hand, his eyes holding mine in a lock that I found hard to break.  I had always let men control me and I knew instantly that this man could tell me to jump off the nearest bridge and I would do it. 

“Thanks, I am fine.” He was making me feel so tongue-tied, I was amazed I had even managed to get those few words out.  I let him lead me inside the bar and sit me at a table.  While he was at the bar buying some drinks,  I used my reflection in the mirror to wipe away the blood that was starting to set on my chin.  He returned and placed a drink in front of me. 

 

“So, do you want to call the police or do you let all your boyfriends beat you up?”  I was not sure if he was serious or not, and just took another sip of my drink as I wondered what to say.  The truth was I did just let my boyfriends treat me that way and never did anything to stop them.   I suppose it had come from being a kid in a home where my Dad ruled the roost and treated my Mum the same way I later let guys treat me.   Now at 24, I had already had a number of abusive relationships. 

 

I realised he had put down his glass and was waiting for my answer. “I ..no don’t ring the police, it was just a fight.”  I could see him looking at me, his eyebrows raised as if to question my response, but he didn’t take it any further.  “Ok, well I should introduce myself. My name is Daniel and you are?”  I had just taken another sip of my drink and almost spit it out all over the table as I tried to answer him.  “I am Sally.”

 

Again he was giving me the look that I had seen earlier, the one that went from my head right down to my pussy.  I couldn’t believe the way he was making me feel, my pussy getting wetter the longer I sat there.  I just wanted him to take me somewhere and fuck me anyway he wanted to. Starting to blush, I looked down at the table, hoping he would not notice my reddening face. It seemed that he had not, as he carried on with his attempt to engage me in conversation.

 

“Would I be right in assuming that was your car that guy drove off in before?  If it was, I can give you a lift.”  I still could not look him in the eyes, so keeping my head down I mumbled an answer. “I would like a lift, thank-you.”

 

So it was that I found myself in a car with this mesmerising man who had made me completely forget my missing car and bag.  It took me a while to realise he was going the wrong way but a lifetime of letting men take charge meant that I did not say anything.  When he pulled into the driveway of a large house with a tall fence hiding it from the road, I still stayed silent. He gave me a quick glance but did not say anything as he drove up to the house and parked. I wondered what would happen but if he intended to ease my aching pussy, then I would not argue with him.

 

The moment I saw her, I knew she could be a truly submissive person.  I should know, as I had spent the last twenty years exploring the world of BDSM and thought of myself as an experienced master.  I had trained a number of subs over the years and was very good at spotting the signs of submission, often even before the woman knew it herself.  The way Sally had stayed on the ground and let that guy take her car had started me wondering, but it was also the way she had let me choose her drink and the fact she could not hold my gaze that really intrigued me.  I decided to see what her reaction to driving her to my home would be, deciding that if she put up a fuss, I would make up some excuse and drive her to her home.  However, we were now sitting in my driveway and she still had not said anything.

 

My cock was hard and my heart was beating with the thought that she truly would let me do anything. I needed to do one more thing before I took her inside and slowly moved my hand towards her.  She just looked at me with her beautiful blue eyes, but still did not say anything.  Slowing lifting up her skirt, I moved my hand to feel her pussy and was surprised to find that she was soaking wet.  Her moans told me she liked what I was doing and when I pulled my hand away from her, I thought she was going to cry. 

 

Having no doubt about her willingness to be here, I led her into my house and sat her down on the couch, while I went to get my bag of goodies.  I knew she could still resist when I showed her what I truly wanted of her, but my instincts told me otherwise.  Even the way she was sitting on the couch, with her head down and her hands just sitting in her lap, told a story.  I was excited in a way I hadn’t been for months, not since my regular sub had left to move closer to her sick mother.  

 

Moving back into the room, I put my bag down and sat down beside Sally on the couch.  Taking her hand in mine, I brought her head up gently with my other hand, noticing her flinch slightly and look to the door. I saw her split lip and realised I had not thought if it might be bothering her.  “Do you need anything for your lip?” Sally just shook her head, so I continued on with what I needed to tell her. 

 

“Sally, I know that you must be wondering why I brought you here. Well, I would like to get to know you better and I think you want the same thing.” I saw her blush and just continued on. “However, there is something you need to know before we get too involved.” I saw her eyes look curiously at me, as if she expected me to tell her I had a wife or something, I am certain she did not expect what I told her next.

 

“Do you know what bondage is?”  At this her eyes widened and she took a quick glance at the door again before looking back down at her hands. “I saw something on a movie once my Dad had, with a girl tied up to a bed and a man in a mask making her scream. I was only ten and my dad chased me from the room when he knew I was there, threatening to hit me if I ever snuck a look at his movies again.”  I thought about her response and knew that her without a doubt that she had grown up in an abusive home.  

 

“Is that what you think bondage is, a man hurting a woman?” She looked up at me and again could not keep her eyes up. “Well, every man I have ever known has hurt me or someone else I love, so why should bondage be any different.”  It was her matter-of-fact way that made me stop and take stock of what I was going to say to her next.  I was now very much aware what she expected from men and that she properly expected the same from me.

 

“Sally, I can see that the men in your life have let you down and if you are willing to let me, I would like to show you that not every man is like that. I would like you to let me show you some of the things I like and then if you are not interested, you can go home.  Would you like that?”  By the look on her face, I could tell that she was not used to being asked her opinion and her answer confirmed that. “ Daniel, I am happy to do what ever you want to do.”   I sighed and was shocked to see a worried look cross her face, as if she thought I was cross with her. 

 

“I really need you to be honest with me. This is not something I take lightly and would hate to think you are only doing this because I wanted you to do it.  Tell you what, I will give you a small taste and then you can decide if you want to continue.”  I could see that she was just sitting there and was sure that she would let me do whatever I wanted, regardless of if she wanted to or not.  I knew I had to make her understand that it was her choice, but wasn’t quite sure how I was going to do it. 

 

“Look at me!”  I used my most dominant voice and could see her look up right away. “Sally, I need you promise me something?”  I saw her nod, her eyes wide at my tone.  “I need you to promise me that you will tell me when you need to stop.  I will stop if I see you need to, but you have to say if things get too much for you.”  I still was not convinced she would but at least I had tried.  I know I could have just taken her into my room and fucked her in the usual way, but something in my head just told me she would make a wonderful submissive.  I just could not help but want to try.

 

Going to my bag, I pulled out a length of rope, looking at her for any reactions. Apart from her watching me, she made no sound or attempt to move away.   “Sally, before we start I want to make sure you know what I will do. I will be using rope like this one to tie you up, not too tight but firm enough that you will not be able to get out.  Of course, you will have to be naked, so if you want to change your mind, this is your last change.”  She continued to just sit there, seemingly fascinated by the length of rope. What I had said about being naked had not even caused her to blink.

 

“Please stand up and remove your clothes, starting with your top and skirt and then your underwear.”  I watched as she did exactly as I asked and was rewarded with a view of her firm, young body being revealed bit by bit.  She was a beauty, her limbs long and trim and with a naturally firm set of breasts. Her long, dark hair had been pulled out of her ponytail as she had removed her top and now hung in gentle waves over her shoulders. I had to take a deep breath to stop myself from pushing her to the ground and fucking her on the spot.  I took her hand once she was naked, and taking my bag in my other hand, led her along the hall to my special playroom.  I could sense a slight tensing in her body as we approach the room, but she still did not say or do anything to stop me.

 

As I led her into the room, I was aware of what she would see, but knew that it could come as a shock to her.  I had decided to confront her, with the hope that I would get an honest reaction out of her. 

 

I looked at the room that Daniel had led me into and felt a strange surge go through me.  I had been feeling a bit nervous about what he wanted to do, but not enough to want to leave. The truth was I wanted this man more than I had ever wanted anyone, so I was willing to go along with whatever he wanted.  Even undressing in front of him had not bothered me, as I was used to undressing for men.  Not knowing anything about what he was into, I expected to just see some rope and maybe a big bed or something.  Instead, I saw a collection of items both hanging on the walls and around the room, many things looking completely foreign to me. 

 

Looking back at Daniel, who was standing behind me, I for the first time started to feel worried about what I had gotten myself into.  I remembered what he had said about being honest and really wanted to ask him what was going to happen, beyond being tied up. However, it was not in my nature to question the men in my life and just continued to stare at the things in the room. 

 

“Well, I see you find my playroom interesting.  Is there anything you want to ask me before we start?”  I had a head full of questions but just shook my head, seeing a look of disappointment cross his face.  It was a look I was used to and just accepted that like my past relationships, he would be another man who would find me to be less then perfect.  The look quickly changed and I could now see a spark of excitement in his eyes.  He approached me and again played with my pussy, this time moving his fingers into my moistness.  It felt so good; I thought I would come on the spot. 

 

The next few minutes were spent with Daniel finger fucking me, my knees going weak as my body reacted to his fingers.  He pulled out and left me panting, my whole pussy on fire.  He spoke to me in the same voice he had used before, the one that made my legs go weak.  “Sally, turn around and put your arms together behind you.”  I didn’t even think of not doing what he had said and felt him put my hands together and begin to tie the rope around my wrists. It felt strange, but as he had said it was firm but not too tight. 

 

“Try to get your hands free.”  I immediately did as he asked and felt the rope move on my wrists as I tried to get free. The roped held and I heard Daniel give a small laugh at my attempt.  “Well done. How does it feel, is it too tight?” His questions continued to surprise me, as I was just not used to men thinking about how I might be feeling. 

“It if fine.”  He then tied more rope around my elbows, bringing them in close together but not so much that they hurt. He again asked how it felt and I again just said it was fine. It was then that he brought his hand around to grab my breasts, his fingers gripping my nipples lightly at first and then more firmly. I had to gasp as the pain reached a peak where I could not help but cry out.

 

Daniel played with my nipples for a while, each pinch causing my pussy to become even wetter.  I couldn’t work out what was happening, having never felt as stimulated as I did right now.  He spun me around suddenly and taking a handful of my hair, looked into my eyes.  I was not unused to such treatment, and remained silent when he held my head still. “Sally, you are doing very well. Don’t forget to tell me if you need me to stop.  Now, I am feeling very aroused and need you to do something about it.” 

 

This was something I was used to and as he let go of my hair, I fell to my knees and waited for him to lower his pants.  My first thought as his penis came into view was how nice it was.  It was about 7 inches long and with a mushroom shaped head.  Lowering my head, I first licked around the hole in the head and then down the length of his cock. He tasted clean and fresh, a change from what I was used to.  A hand on the back of my head let me know it was time to take him into my mouth and I did, allowing him to go almost all the way into my throat.  I felt my throat stretch as he pushed in the rest of the way and then pull out again.  He sped up and I got into a rhythm of taking a deep breath before he entered my throat.  His hand moved to my nipples and he resumed pinching them as he deep throated me. 

 

I heard myself moan around his cock as his pinching got harder.  It was painful but as I was just thinking that I could take no more, he started to cum and let go.  I breathed a silent sigh of relief and felt his cum move into my stomach.  His cock pulled out so it sat on my tongue and I quickly swallowed his cum as he pumped it into my mouth.  I was amazed at they way having my hands tied made me feel, almost as if it was natural.  Having finished, Daniel removed his cock and then did something I was not expecting by gently stroking my hair and then my cheek.  “Thank-you, that was amazing. You are very good, you know.”

 

Was that a compliment he had just given me or had he called me a slut?  My face must have shown my reaction, as he took my face in his hands and gently kissed me. I could feel his tongue work into my mouth and responded to his kiss with a passion that took me by surprise.  When he released me, I felt dizzy and was glad I was kneeling, as I wasn’t sure I would have been able to stand up at the moment. 

 

As I was contemplating my response to what was happening, Daniel gently leaned me back and turned me over till I was lying on my stomach.  His fingers on my thighs and then my pussy, made me jerk and I knew my orgasm was so close.  “Love, I will let you cum soon but first I need to finish your tie.” He waited a moment, obviously waiting for me to say if I wanted to stop.  When I remained silent, I felt him grip my ankles and tie them together with more rope.  He patted me on the bottom, the jolt that ran through my pussy making me moan. 

 

“Sally, I just want to make one more tie and then I will let you cum.  I am going to pull your legs up and tie them to your hands in what is called a hogtie.  Are you ok with that?”  I nodded, not trusting my self to speak.  My whole insides felt like jelly as he moved my legs up to tie them to my hands.  He pulled a bit harder and I felt my back bend.  I could not help groaning as he continued to pull my back up, but as he let go, the pressure eased a bit.  Feeling his hand move in between my legs, I hoped he wouldn’t stop this time.  When he withdrew his hand. I moaned in frustration and heard his laugh.  Then there was a sound that I didn’t recognise and suddenly I felt my whole pussy vibrate as he pushed something against my clit.

 

My mind lost all sense of time and space as the vibrations caused by whatever he was using on me, rocked my whole body.  I literally saw stars as my orgasm ripped through my body, the ropes only adding to the feeling.  I eventually came down to find Daniel sitting on the floor in front of me.  He was smiling at me and had something that looked like pegs in this hand. 

 

“Sally, you are just doing so very well.  I would like to see how you cope with one more thing before I untie you. Do you think you can stay like you are for a while longer?” I again just nodded and saw that same disappointed look cross his face briefly and then it was gone.  He held up a  simple wooden peg in his hand and then used his fingers to pull on my nipple. I had just worked out the connection between the peg and my nipple just as he caught my nipple in the peg.  I just looked at him and uttered a cry, not quite sure how I felt about it.  He repeated the same thing with my other nipple and stroked my face as I was forced to take a few deep breaths.  It was the one thing that I didn’t really like that much but as usual I stayed silent.  Luckily he did not make me wear them for long and soon he was untying me.  I got the feeling that although I had done all that he had asked of me, there was something he thought was lacking.

 

He was rubbing my slightly red wrists as I stood, feeling a bit embarrassed now it was over. Would he send me packing or would be let me stay and do what I wanted him to do and fuck me. I was worried that he was so quiet and became convinced that he was sick of me already. He led me into a bathroom and told me to have a shower, while he showed me a soft bathrobe on the back of the door that I could use.  The idea that he was not making me put my clothes back on gave me some hope but I still was not sure  that he was happy with me.

 

After I sent Sally in to have her shower, I poured myself a drink and thought over the session. In many ways she had outdone some much more experienced subs in that she seemed to cope with almost every thing I tried very well.  I was concerned though about her lack of communication.  I didn’t think it was just that she hadn’t been quite sure what was happening but more that she seemed used to letting men do as they wished to her.  I had seen that first hand in the car park and should not have been surprised that she was so passive.

 

Just then I heard her walk back in the room, looking delightful in the fluffy white bathrobe one of my subs had left here.  Her hair was slightly damp and some of it was sticking to her forehead.  I mentioned to her to follow me and led her back to the room we had been in earlier. Sitting her down on the couch, I settled down to talk about what we had just down.

 

“Well, that was fun.  I hope you liked it too.” As I expected she just nodded and I decided that if I did nothing else today, I would get her to answer me. “Sally, you are not allowed to just nod anymore. It is very important that you tell me how you felt about what just happened, so you can decide if you would like to find out more.  I have to say that I thought you did a fantastic job and would love to teach you more, but you have the final say. Now, I am going to ask you again, did you like it?”

 

I saw her take a deep breath and finally she started to speak. “It was interesting.  But why do you need to know what I think so much? I have never been with a guy that cared that much about how I felt.”  I felt so sorry for her at the moment, the idea that no-one had ever cared enough to ask her about her feelings made me feel sad.  It also went a long way to explaining her lack of communication. 

 

“Sally, with what I do, communication is very important.  If I don’t know how a girl is feeling about what is happening to her, not only can I not work on making her experience even better for her but she could also get hurt. What I do is not something I do without thought for my partner and her limits.” I could see her confused look at my mention of the word limits. “A limit is something someone decides they don’t want to do, though there are a lot of times I have pushed a girl to or even passed her limits.” I could see Sally nodding though I doubted she really understood what I was talking about. I decided to ask her about our experience together again.

 

“Tell me what you liked the most about what we just did.”  I saw her hesitate and look down.  I let her be for a moment but just when I was about to remind her that I needed an answer, she began to speak.  “ Daniel, I must say nobody has ever made me feel the way you made me feel.  Whatever that thing was you used to make me cum was mind blowing.”  She had not looked at me while she was speaking, but I was pleased that she was at least speaking. 

 

“Good, now what didn’t you like and before you say anything, I want you to be honest. I will not be upset if you didn’t like it all.”  Again she kept me waiting while she thought and then began to quietly speak. “Well, I was not too sure about the pegs, but if you wanted to, I’d try them again.” I sighed, wishing she could understand that I didn’t care if she didn’t like them or not.  She must have heard me sigh, as she looked up, wariness in her eyes. “I am sorry, I will not complain about them next time.” 

 

I must have looked annoyed at her answer, as suddenly she moved back away from me, her eyes now more fearful then wary.  I reached out a hand to comfort her but she only backed away even more.  I stood and moved to the other side of the room, giving her some space.  “Sally, I am the one who is sorry if I have made you feel uncomfortable. Please believe me, I am not upset if you didn’t like using the pegs.  That is what I meant by limits.  If we play again, not using pegs could be a limit you might want to set.” 

 

She was still looking at me from the other side of the room but at least the fear had started to fade from her eyes.  I stayed where I was; not wanting to spook her again.  “Sally, is there something else you want to ask or tell me about today?” Looking up at me, her eyes met mine for a moment before dropping back down. “Well, I was wondering why you seem to be so interested in me.  I am nothing special and I am sure there are girls lining up to spend time with you.”  I was again taken aback at her total lack of self- confidence.  How could she not see how beautiful she was?

 

“Sally, don’t you ever think you are not special.   You are not only a beautiful woman but you have really made what could have been a dull day into a great one.”  I saw her blush and then look down again. How I wish she could look me in the eyes more, I hoped in time she would grow to trust me; that is if she stayed.  “Sally, please look at me!” Still she kept her head down, so without thinking, I moved quickly to grab her chin in my hand.  She tried to move away but I held on, needing to see her eyes. I moved my other hand up to touch her hair again and saw what could only be described as panic. She had lifted her arm over her face, obviously ready to protect herself from a slap. Then, before I could say anything, she had twisted out of my grip and run out the door.

 

I didn’t know where I was going, but all of my past experience made me need to get out of the room. In my head I knew that Daniel had not hurt me yet, but then I had always found that even if it took weeks, the time would come when I would be on the end of a slap or even a punch. I was not hanging around to see what he would do.  Hearing his footsteps on the floor behind me, I looked for somewhere to hide and saw the door leading to the backyard. Maybe I could get around the front and catch a lift.  However, once outside, a tall gate that was locked stopped me. Turning around to find another hiding spot, I was confronted by Daniel running out into the yard. Not sure if he had already seen me, I squatted down, my heart beating.

 

He must have gone in the other direction, as I had not seen him yet, so I decided to see if I could make it back inside and maybe even lock him out.  I had just crawled around the corner when he saw me. I gave a squeal and tried to run, but he was on me and holding me still.  He was not hurting me, but I could not get out of the grip.  When he just stood there and did not try to hurt me, I began to calm down but still did not let my defences down completely. 

 

“Sally, if I let go, will you let me talk to you?’  I heard something in his voice I was not used to hearing, compassion.  He actually did seem to want to talk and not just hurt me.  I decided I should give him a chance, as I could not get away without his help.  I let my body relax and felt him ease his grip but it seemed he was waiting for me to answer before he let me go. “Ok, I won’t try to run.”  He then let me go and led me to sit down on a seat by the pool.  He sat down on the other side of the table, giving me some much needed space.

 

“Sally, I am not sure what I did to scare you, but I promise you again you are in no danger here. Are you able to tell me what I did that made you want to get away from me?” I could again hear the concern in voice, and tried to work out how to answer him.  “Daniel, I just don’t trust men very much and when you moved so fast and grabbed my chin, I didn’t want to wait and see if you were going to hit me.  I have learnt that if you can run, you run.”  I could see the hurt look in his eyes and wished that I hadn’t been the one to put it there.

 

“I can understand how you might think that about some low life trash like that guy who took your car, but I hope you will let me show you that not all men are like that.” Hearing his answer, I could relate to what he said, but there was something I did not understand. “Daniel, you say that all men are not like that, but I have to ask you something.  How can you say you would never hurt me when I know what you like to do to woman.”  I was worried I would make him angry with me, and was ready to run into the house, but he just looked a bit hurt again.  There was no sign of anger as he spoke quietly and I found myself relaxing again.

 

“You are right in that I like to have a woman submit to me, but I would never, ever make a woman do something she really didn’t want to do.  You are also right that in my play, I may hit a woman but that does not mean I do it out of anger.  I do it because if fills a need in both of us and makes the sex that follows just so much better.” He paused, willing me with his eyes to understand. 

 

I tried to sort out what he was saying in my head, but still could not forget the feeling of control I had felt when he had made me look into his eyes.  “Do you understand what I am saying?  I think anyone who hits a woman out of anger or in an attempt to make them do what they don’t want to do, is wrong.  If you would give me one more chance, I will try to prove to you that you can trust me.” Trust was not a word I used lightly and if I were honest, I never truly trusted anyone not even myself. I was glad that he had stopped speaking and was letting me think. 

 

He got up from his seat and went over to what looked like a bar and poured out two drinks.  He placed one in front of me and resumed his seat, taking a big swig from his drink while I thought.  I picked up the drink and was pleasantly surprised when I found out it was just a fresh apple juice and not alcohol.  A good ten minutes must have passed as I considered what he had said.  The fact that he was not trying to influence me helped me to come to my decision.

 

I was so worried that my actions had cut what could be a wonderful relationship short.  I stirred my drink, seeing her taking sips out of hers and looking up at me occasionally.  Suddenly she put down her drink and sat up, her head at least being held up even if she still could not look at me.  “Daniel, I have thought about what you have said, and I think I would like to trust you.  Now that does not mean I won’t change my mind but I get a feeling from you I have never felt before.  However, there is one thing I need you to do before I make my decision final.”   I waited to hear what she wanted, happy that at least she was willing to give me one more chance.

 

“Would you make love to me, not tied up or anything, just normal like?” I had to hide my smile at her use of the work like, but inside I was jumping for joy. I made myself stand up slowly, so as not to scare her, and walked around until I was standing in front of her.  I offered my hand to her. “Sally, love, of course I will.  It is one of the reasons I brought you here. I just wanted to make sure you were willing.”  She took my hand and I could fell it shaking slightly. I hugged her gently to me and kissed her cheek, before leading her into my room. 

 

I was pleased that she followed me without any hesitation and when we reached my room that she started to get undressed before I had to tell her.  I knew that I had to take it slow and let her know that I wanted her and not just her body. I turned to kiss her, feeling her respond to me with a vigour that just spurred me on more.  I walked her to the bed, our lips stills locked together and lowered her down, breaking the kiss only to stand and remove my clothes.  I could see her watching me through hooded eyes and moved to quickly undress. Her eyes watched my every move and when I was naked, she held up her arms to me. 

 

This action told me more than anything she had said, that she really did want me.  I wasted no time and once I had felt her pussy and found out she was wet, I moved so that my cock was ready to enter her.  She gasped but did not move away as I gently moved my cock into her, feeling her moist tunnel grip me as I moved further into her.  I had to fight my urge grab her hair and fuck as I wanted to, but I knew how important this was. I heard her moans and squeezed her breast gently, pleased to feel lifting her body to allow me to get a better hold.

 

I looked up to see her face, her pretty eyes closed and her mouth open. I just had to kiss her again and took her lower lip in my teeth before putting both lips over hers. I felt her tongue come out and play with mine as I moved a bit faster inside of her.  By the time I was ready to come, I could hardly tell where her body finished and mine started. Increasing the speed of my thrusts, I could feel her body start to shake under mine and as she started to cum so did I.  It felt like I was in a vice as her pussy gripped my cock as we both came together. 

 

I came aware of her body lying crushed under mine a moment or two later and rolled off to the side.  Our heavy breathing filled the room and it was a while before I was ready to speak.  I leaned up one elbow to see how she was doing and was surprised to see her looking at me in the eyes. The fact she could only hold the look for a short time did not worry me, as it was the longest time she had managed so far. I stroked her hair, seeing her flinch slightly and was just about to remove my hand when she smiled up at me.  I smiled back and continued to stroke her hair. 

 

“Love, that was amazing and I am not just saying that.” I saw her blush and look away, then she looked up into my eyes again.  “I thought it was amazing too.”  She then looked away and I had to smile, as this time in her eyes I had seen no sign her of earlier fear.  Maybe she would grow to trust me.  Now I thought about it, I was keen to know if she was going to stay. I sat up on the bed and she did the same, sensing my change of mood.  I moved so I could look her directly in the face, her gaze on me now serious.

 

“Sally, I have already told you that I would love to teach you more about what I like, but you have to realise that what I really want to do is to teach you how wonderful a person you are.  I don’t care if you never want to be tied up again, though I hope you do. What I really want is to be the first man you have known who will love and care for you. Will you let me do that?’

 

Sally looked down at her hands and my heart almost stopped as I thought she was going to refuse my offer.  However, when she looked up I could see a glint of pride in her eyes. “Daniel, I know we don’t know how this will work out, but I feel like I want to give it a go.  I too want to understand what you see in me, so if you are still willing to give me yet another chance, I will try to trust you a bit.”  I was so happy that I just had to kiss her again, one of  those kisses that make the whole world stand still.  When I raised my head, she had tears in her eyes. ‘Hey, what is wrong. Have you changed your mind already?” 

 

She just shook her head while I wiped a tear away from her cheek.  “Nothing is wrong. I have been trying to name a feeling I have had since the moment you helped me to stand up outside the bar and I know now what it is.”  I was curious to hear what she was going to say. “Daniel, you know that I have not had a good time with the men in my life, but I am telling you the truth when I say that I feel safe with you.  I think the real reason I ran before was not because I was scared but because I did not understand what I was feeling.  You make me feel safe and I would love it if you wanted to be with me.” 

 

I lay back down on the bed, pulling her to just lie with me and felt content for the first time in a long time. I lay until she was asleep beside me, her soft hair brushing against my chest, and let myself drift off to sleep too. As sleep took me, I thought of all the things we could do together.  I knew she was going to be in my dreams but best of all I knew the dream was real and for now that was enough.

 

 

 

The end