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Hell in Paradise
Author: Rosetta Stone
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(Added on Mar 19, 2005)
(This month 41692 readers) (Total 91887 readers) |
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Barbara, a businesswoman from Europe, spends a week in the Amazon assessing how her client Robert protects his investments - which he does by getting rid of people. A very dark story of unbridled lust for violence and wickedness, with no boundaries. Short chapters will be added once a day for the next few weeks. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 12 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7.5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (7.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (4/10) |
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| Reviewer:
MahaSparna
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 10, 2007 |
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Excellent story! Barbara is a wonderfully deviant and hedonistically evil character. Despite that the last update was over 2 years ago, do you have any plans to continue this work? (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
sch127
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 7, 2005 |
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I like very much the theme of the story, and I think you have to continue it. This family is wonderfully cruel. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Dancing Hateful Thin
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 8, 2005 |
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You know, I realize that this is a weird - almost inappropriate - comment to make for a story like this, but could you not include details about torturing animals? It's one thing to torture a human being, where there's various reasons for it, but it just squicks the hell out of me to find out about a cat being tortured in a story like this. Edit: Squick, incidentally, means that it made you feel "squeamish" and "icky" - in short, it's a dealbreaker, something that pushes past your normal limits and into something really unpleasant. Not something that you want to see more of. (7/10)
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- Replied by:
Rosalinde
(Edit) (Apr 8, 2005)
- OK, what do you mean with SQUICK? Turns you on? In that case, I will try to find an excuse to have a few details. Kids torture animals, I guess I could have one of the two daughters recollect their experiences.
- Replied by:
Dancing Hateful Thin
(Edit) (Apr 8, 2005)
- I figured that I'd repost it, just for the notificaition: Squick means that it made you feel "squeamish" and "icky" - in short, it's a dealbreaker, something that pushes past your normal limits and into something really unpleasant. Not something that you want to see more of.
- Replied by:
Rosalinde
(Edit) (May 10, 2005)
- OK, reading this again I see that I had misunderstood - I thought you wanted MORE of this, and I was not really doing to write any. Now I see that you do NOT want anything more about anmals, and I readly agree: I don't like that either. But the reason I added this was realism: there is a proven statistical correlation between serial murder in adult life and animal torture when younger. Not pleasant - I agree - but these are NOT pleasant people by any means. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
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| Reviewer:
La Toya
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 25, 2005 |
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Nice start. I feel the first snuffed female could have taken a little longer, but hey that just me. (8/10)
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- Replied by:
Rosalinde
(Edit) (Mar 25, 2005)
- True - Barbara felt the same way. She had let herself be overwhelmed by the intensity of her first real torture, and regretted not having inflicted other torments on her. She will have more opportunities later on!
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| Reviewer:
xsnaggle
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 25, 2005 |
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I love it. I love her and love her hosts. Cannot wait for Part4 to 100. lol Keep going. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Dododecapod
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 24, 2005 |
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Well, this has some promise. Frankly, it's not all that sexy, so far, and the characterization is't so good (though it's fairly short so far, so I may be jumping the gun here).
You need better editing. At one stage you miss two words in a sentence, almost rendering it incomprehensible; in several places your punctuation is poor. Have someone review your pieces before you post them, if you can; if not, self-edit (which is harder). (6/10)
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- Replied by:
Rosalinde
(Edit) (Mar 21, 2005)
- Very useful feedback - many thanks! I will try to do better. It will get sexier, at least I hope so!
- Replied by:
Dododecapod
(Edit) (Mar 24, 2005)
- I can see you've taken my words to heart. The second and third parts scan much better, your spelling and grammar have improved markedly.
The speech still seems a little stiff, but reads well. The S/M scene seems much more realistic than many I've read, though it's a little tame for sadists as experienced as the family seems to be.
- Replied by:
Rosalinde
(Edit) (Mar 25, 2005)
- It IS tame, but that's Barbara's fault: they let her lead, as good hosts should. She was overwhelmed by her first real torture and ended it all too fast. She will become more experienced, I am sure.
- Replied by:
Dododecapod
(Edit) (Apr 7, 2005)
- I just read part 4, and I'm getting more and more impressed. GREAT set-up for future events; not exactly SUBTLE, but this isn't a subtle genre. The hunt could be a lot of fun...
- Replied by:
Dododecapod
(Edit) (May 8, 2005)
- Oh, you tease! I hope part six isn't far away!
Oh, and nice foreshadowing.
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| Reviewer:
LordVetinari
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 23, 2005 |
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Cruel and sadistic. My kind of story. Hopefully it will continue in this vein for some time. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
slaveneedledick
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 21, 2005 |
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Not a bad start to the plot and storyline. I will wait to read further chapters. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
newnorcia2000
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 21, 2005 |
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looking fordward to chapter 2 (9/10)
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- Replied by:
Rosalinde
(Edit) (Mar 21, 2005)
- Thanks! I have submitted chapters 2 and 3, I hope they will be posted soon.
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| Reviewer:
portis
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 21, 2005 |
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All I can say Rosetta is you have grabbed my attention and tease away, because I for one will be logging on each day to follow your story...well done! (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
BBWLover
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 21, 2005 |
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I think this has a LOT of promise with what seems (so far) to be a genuinely evil heroine. I am really looking forward to the next chapter. I only hope that the writer doesn't cop out at the end and give her an attack of remorse and/or let the "good guys" triumph.
(8/10)
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- Replied by:
Rosalinde
(Edit) (Mar 21, 2005)
- Fear not! I will have a few twists, but the bad guys will win and enjoy some sexily evil time in the process. It will get much nastier - be ready!
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| Reviewer:
cindi
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 19, 2005 |
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I fail to see what the story has to do with anything listed as topics in the summary. (4/10)
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- Replied by:
Rosalinde
(Edit) (Mar 21, 2005)
- Fair comment. I think the topics list will be slowly "ticked in" as the story progresses. I have planned to follow Barbara over seven days - we are currently at day 2. I will post something more tomorrow, or if I am really fast later tonight. Many thanks for your feedback.
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