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The Friend
Author: Angel Dawn
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(Added on Feb 20, 2004)
(This month 8739 readers) (Total 20014 readers) |
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She was alone and without a friend ...Until he came upon her... |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 6 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (8/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 7, 2012 |
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Story has the rare quality most fairy tales have; as if everything happens in a semi-dream state.
I too was a touch taken aback by the abrupt ending, but nevertheless find that it fits the story.
Seems that Angel Dawn was more comfortable with "The Friend" than with "Tami's Secret Life" because this one flows way better with less spelling errors as well.
Nice.
JJ (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
thetrudruid
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 12, 2011 |
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Its a lovely story, effective imagery and a great plot. Detail fades out at parts but makes for better immersion, thank you. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
longrover
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 13, 2004 |
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Good story of a man's kindness to a beaten woman and the reward she gave him. There are quite a few grammatical problems, as at least one other reviewer noted, but I hope Angel Dawn will continue to share her work. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Wyn
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 21, 2004 |
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This was a very good story. Nice plot and action.
Now to the bad news. All the "..." had me wondering what the author's intent was. For some of them, a period would have sufficed, and for others, a comma. For all the dialogue in the first half of the story -- when the speaker changes, the rule is to start a new paragraph.
I agree with bdsmbill about the ending of the story. It was rather anti-climatic for me. Perhaps another part further detailing the two's exploits and a prison shower scene would've worked better.
My apologies for the nitpicking, but as I said, this was a very good story. Cleaned up, it has the potential to be an excellent one. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
bdsmbill
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 20, 2004 |
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I agree with the rating of the first reviewer. This was well done! I thought it ended rather abruptly, but it was still very good. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Lord Douche
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 20, 2004 |
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Fascinating writing, Angel. Probably F/m would have been a good code to add, but apart from that I really liked it. :)
Just needed a little proof-reading and it would be an excellent story. (8/10)
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