Chapter Ten:
Some three weeks later, early in the afternoon, Sandra left her office.
She walked to her car, out in the faculty parking area.
Anyone watching her confident stride, could never have imagined she had
recently been subjected to a prolonged night in which she had been repeatedly
raped and sodomized. Her body language conveyed not just a confident carriage,
but an almost aggressive confidence.
Sandra, indeed, regarded herself as a changed person. From those initial
feelings of being a helpless victim - and she had thought of herself at first as
an actual slave, forced to perform for her black attacker - she now knew that
her rape had unleashed an awareness of appetites and hungers she otherwise would
never have known. There was no mystery about when the change occurred - or at
least that point when the change was unmistakable. It was when Joshua sodomized
her. She hadn't been "acting" when she asked him to do it. She had been
shocked to reach the most exciting and satisfying orgasm she had ever
experienced. She didn't know if Joshua was aware of it, but she had undergone
one new sensual experience after another, the rest of that night.
After he took her in the ass - or more accurately, she later admitted to
herself, after she had him take her that way - they spent almost half an hour
just laying next to each other. They were still like that, when Sandra had
reached down and began stroking Joshua's penis. This had ignited a series of
additional activities, the recollection of which still had the power to get
Sandra wet.
The evening was eventually over. Joshua had gotten dressed. He then went
to where she still lay on the bed. He bent over and gave her another long and
intimate kiss. He had smiled down at her.
"Sandra, I know your initial reaction is going to be to report this to the
cops. Well, I want you to remember what a great performance you turned in."
Joshua held up the video cassette, and waived it in her direction. "If you do
go to them, I'm going to claim that you had been interested in me while I was in
your class. But you wouldn't jeopardize your career by fucking a student, so
you told me the only way we could get together would be if I dropped your class.
And I have the tape to prove how enthusiastic you were, about getting it on with
this poor, seduced black student of yours. You know how believable my version
will be, when people look at this thing."
"I'm not going to the police," Sandra replied. She almost smiled, as she
was tempted to ask him to get her a copy of the tape.
Joshua left.
Sandra's final surprise of the night, was to find herself disappointed that
he was gone. This once in a lifetime experience was over. There were numerous
times since that evening that Sandra had masturbated herself to orgasm, reliving
the various acts she and Joshua had performed.
Sandra had been left with an interesting dilemma. She hungered for that
same level of intense and overwhelming sexual satisfaction. But the idea of
"normal" sexual activity now left her cold. She had plenty of men she
occasionally dated. Sandra could have bedded any of them any time she crooked
her little finger. The idea of such a coupling seemed so pedestrian, though,
that she found it distasteful. Normal fucking now seemed like a pallid
imitation of what she understood she was capable of truly experiencing. As she
approached her car she knew she would have to find some way of again realizing
the kind of thrill she now knew she was capable of having.
As she took out her car keys, there was the sound of someone approaching.
As she casually turned around, she saw her attacker standing two feet away, just
looking at her. She stared at him in wordless, numbed shock.
"Hi, Sandra," Joshua said calmly. She continued to stare at him.
"What do you want?" She was pleased by the calmness of her tone.
"I just couldn't help myself. I wanted to see how you've been doing
since...well, you know." He had in fact become almost obsessed with wanting to
know if the changes he sensed he had caused in Sandra were sticking. By the end
of that night three weeks ago, he knew that the woman he was raping was not the
same person she had been before that night. He had also watched the video
countless times, usually with his hand tight around his cock, stroking himself
to shooting. He had been exultant since then, whenever he remembered the total
control he had exercised over her. He had had numerous hard-ons, recalling her
complete surrender and submission to him. But what was truly exciting and
unexpected, was the knowledge that he had permanently changed her psyche. He had
fucked her body all right, but he had also fucked with her mind. He couldn't
help himself; he had to see her again, just to see what she would say, how she
would react.
"I'm fine. And that perverted idea of yours, about keeping me from going
to the police, well, it worked. So why don't you leave me the hell alone?"
"OK," he said, and started to turn away.
"Wait!"
Joshua turned back to her.
"I want you to know something. I know you thought I was your slave, your
helpless victim. But that's really bullshit. I know, I responded to what
happened, and to what you did to me. But you think that's because I was
helpless. But I've thought about it a lot. I responded the way I did because
of something in myself."
She saw his reaction, and said, "Wipe the stupid smile off your face, you
know what I mean. Because the way I reacted was due to something inside me.
You didn't have jack shit to do with it, and, bottom line, you really weren't
the one controlling my feelings." She stared at him challengingly a moment
longer. Then, with deliberate slowness, she turned back to unlock her car.
"Wait." He paused. "If that's really true, then you're admitting you
really dug what we did together. Right? "
"So what?"
"So, if you liked it, and you liked it because what we did appealed to you,
why not do it again? I know you DID like it, whether it was because I forced
you to, or because it was just you. So, what do you say?"
"You must be out of your mind!"
"Hey, Sandra, to paraphrase a finance platitude, fucking talks, bullshit
walks. Talk is cheap," he added contemptuously.
Sandra's heart started pounding, and her nostrils flared. She thought
about her newly discovered confidence, and those new appetites she constantly
teased and tempted herself with. Above all, she would never forget that no one
had ever fucked her the way this man had. She had never responded to anyone the
way she had to Joshua. The decisive factor in her next words, however, had been
the fear that she would never experience any of those feelings again, at least
never with the same intensity and uncontrollable passion. She stood there
silently, thinking. Then she looked directly at him.
"OK," she said. " A good fuck is a good fuck," she added, attempting to
match his earlier tone of contempt. "When and where?"
"How about now? My place."
After a moment's hesitation, she said "Sure." Suddenly she went from
wondering if she was crazy, to being thrilled that the confidence she had felt
was real.
"You ready right now?"
She shook her head. "Whatever. Let's do it, if we're going to." She
felt a warmth flood through her, at the thought she would again experience that
complete and uncontrolled abandon of three weeks ago. She would again see his
athletic black body. She would see the large cock, hanging between his muscular
thighs. She would feel the rough and selfish grasp of his strong and demanding
hands. She would feel his tongue once again probing all the intimate places of
her body. She would explore him with her tongue. She would see him, and touch
him and taste him and smell him. Sandra began to get wet as the images coursed
through her mind.
If she had known Joshua's thoughts, she might have run screaming from him.
Joshua was infuriated by her attitude. He could have accepted, even
expected, her anger. Her contempt was a shock. The sense of power he had felt
in subjecting her to his whims and orders had given him an exhilaration he had
never before known. And the heart of it had been showing Sandra that she needed
to be dominated, that he had the power to compel her to perform unspeakably
obscene acts, and to make her enjoy them. Above all, the thrill that this had
been done by a black man to a white woman had added incredible spice to the
satisfaction and the memory.
This was the real reason he wanted to see her again. He wanted to see the
results of his handiwork. He wanted to reaffirm his triumph over her.
The comments she just made, so sarcastically dismissive of everything he
thought he had achieved, caused an eruption of anger. It only took a moment,
but Josh knew he had to permanently achieve with Sandra what he thought he
already had. He knew instantly how he would do it. No careful planning and
organization was necessary this time.
