Chapter Five:
It was late at night.
Joshua walked up to her front door. He rang the bell. After a minute or
so, he heard sounds inside, and then the door opened.
Ms. Jansen was peeking around the edge of the door, with an apprehensive
expression on her face, at the late night intrusion. She was wearing a
blue-green terry cloth robe. She was holding it closed at her throat.
"Yes?" she asked, in a hesitant voice.
"Ms. Jansen, it's Joshua, Joshua Washington. From your Philosophy 110
class? I really need to talk to you for a couple of minutes."
She finally recognized him. Then a puzzled look came over her face.
"You'll need to make an office appointment, and I'll be happy to..."
Joshua suddenly shoved the door open, knocking her back a few feet. As he
came in, he pulled a small automatic pistol out of his coat jacket. He pointed
it at her. She had a shocked and dazed expression on her face. The weapon was
unloaded, but she wouldn't know that. There was a moment of silence as they
looked at each other. Joshua let the silence draw out. Finally she spoke.
"What...what do you want Joshua?"
"It's Mr. Washington." He paused expectantly. Eventually she got it.
"Why are you doing this...Mr. Washington. What do you want?"
"The first thing I want is your first name. That way we can both be on a
first name basis." Joshua already knew it, but he wanted her to give it to him.
It would be her first gift of the evening.
"My name is Sandra." She was still terrified, but had begun to calm down
slightly, as Joshua was speaking quietly, and appeared to be in calm control of
himself.
Joshua smiled in genuine pleasure, and held out his hand.
"Sandra, I'm Joshua. It's a pleasure to really get to know you."
Sandra hesitated, then reluctantly put her hand out. She and Joshua shook
hands. The touch of her small hand within his made his penis twitch.
"Why don't we sit down, Sandra. Let's go into the living room."
They were standing in a small entryway, which became a lengthy hallway.
The hallway led straight to the back of the house. To the right was the living
room. Sandra turned around and walked into the living room, followed by Joshua.
She turned to look at him. He sat in an easy chair, which faced a long, worn
sofa. He gestured for her to sit down on the sofa, which she did.
They sat there silently, looking at each other. Joshua had decided in
advance that silence would be a major tool in his effort to subjugate the will
and independence of his beautiful victim. He was quite content to wait her out,
letting the turmoil of her fear and anxiety help destroy her will to resist. So
he waited. He looked at her. The color of her robe was a perfect complement to
her blonde hair and pale complexion. Her short hair was tousled. He had
apparently gotten her out of bed, he thought ironically.
He looked her slowly up and down, starting with her feet.
Her feet were bare. They were small, with slender toes. She was
unconsciously clenching and unclenching her toes. He couldn't see much of her
legs, as she held the robe tightly closed to prevent any possible view of naked
flesh. Her other hand still held the robe closely to her throat. Joshua looked
at her and reminded himself that this woman was completely in his control. He
could strip the robe off of her right now, or have her do so. He could touch
her however he wanted, and she had no choice but to submit. But he resisted
the temptations. He was going to subdue this woman to his will. She would not
only submit, she would be made to want to submit.
Sandra stared at him. She didn't know what to say or do. The sight of the
gun had paralyzed her will to act. She now remembered him from the class. She
had occasionally caught his admiring looks, but she was accustomed to that from
men. His test results were excellent, as were a couple of brief paper projects.
He had been on his way to an "A", when he had suddenly dropped out. He had
usually kept quiet in class, but was very attentive to her lectures, and to the
class discussions which often ensued. She started suddenly, as she recalled his
interest during the Nietzsche lecture. She tried to remember exactly the gist
of his interest...she shivered, as she remembered he had asked her something
about whether Nietzsche's philosophy really permitted complete freedom from
moral restrictions. This gave her an apprehensive idea of what this break in
might be all about. She hoped that if he were here to demonstrate his freedom
from moral law, he would stop short of the point of seriously hurting her...or
even worse.
She realized in disbelief that she had already accepted that this black
man, sitting there so quietly and impassively, was going to rape her. And there
was probably nothing she could do about it. If his behavior convinced her that
that was all he wanted, she wouldn't resist or try to escape. Her life was more
important than any superficial concepts about the stigma of being violated. She
couldn't stand the tension anymore.
"Please, Mr. Washington. Don't hurt me."
He exulted inwardly. She already accepted his inevitable use of her body!
She was pleading to be spared anything worse. There would be worse, but not in
the way she feared.
"OK, Sandra, I don't want to hurt you, not unless you make me." He paused
and waited, prepared to wait as long as necessary until she felt the pressure to
respond. It only took a moment.
"I won't make you. Just don't hurt me. I'll...cooperate."
"Thank you, Sandra, I appreciate that," he replied with ironic courtesy.
After a moment, she couldn't help herself.
"But why, why are you doing this. I've never hurt you, have I? If I have, I
didn't know it. I'm sorry. Please, don't do this."
"You want to know why, Sandra?"
"Yes, please."
He paused.
"Because I want to. Because I can. And because you have to let me."
She started to shake. Then she began to softly cry, shoulders shaking.
Joshua watched her, letting her emotions take their course. As long as they
didn't lead her to resist, he wanted the turmoil of her emotions to work for
him.
He let her cry for a few minutes. He was finding that a little patience on
his part was bringing dividends, as she did his work for him. Her emotions
were leading her inexorably to readiness for what he planned.
It was time to move things along.
