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On workdays, Adam usually liked a light breakfast. He kicked caffeine a few months ago. He’d been a real bear until his system adjusted to life without the artificial boost. Now some toast, a couple of boiled eggs and some fruit got Adam out the door feeling energized.
He liked his eggs boiled for four minutes. The eggs would sit in the hot water for another five minutes until they were perfectly done. Just before I went upstairs to wake him I put a fresh gerbera daisy in the bud vases next to our respective place settings.
I grabbed a clean towel as I passed the linen closet then headed to his bathroom to center it on the towel warmer. I hung my robe on the hook Adam put in for me before I opened the door and entered his room. I never wore any clothing in Adam’s bedroom.
Adam used to have the most obnoxiously loud alarm clock. He thought he needed that kind of noise because he was a sound sleeper.
After I moved in, we had blackout drapes installed and we changed the windows to triple glazed. His sleep improved immediately. I opened the drapes slowly, letting more and more light fill the room. That was usually enough to get him stirring.
Adam rolled over onto his back, stretching his long frame out to fill the bed, but that was all. I slipped into bed beside him, cuddled up, and covered his neck and chest with little kisses.
A low groan vibrated through his chest and he wrapped his arms around me pulling me on top of him. I kissed my way down his chest and hard abs until I was able to let my warm breath flow over the one part of him that was already awake.
I took just the tip of him into my mouth swirling my tongue around it in quick teasing strokes. His cock jerked as though it was trying to get deeper into my mouth. Enjoying our wakeup call, I turned my attention to his velvety ball sac licking, nibbling, and mouthing his scrotum until his cock leaked clear fluid. I swept his sweetness up with the flat of my tongue drawing an urgent moan from him.
He buried his hands in my hair and pulled my mouth down over his cock lodging his meat deep in my throat. His grip tightened as he fucked my face back and forth along the length of his shaft. Every time he pulled me away I tried to grab a quick breath around his rigid cock.
Being used for his pleasure triggered spasms in my core that covered my inner thighs with moisture. Adam pushed my head down forcing my mouth to stretch to hold his thickness.
With a low grunt Adam came in my throat. I swallowed his cum gratefully, he’d made me earn this privilege and I savored it each time he allowed me to taste him so intimately. My body started to struggle, but he held me in place reinforcing his control. He would decide when I got air.
After my struggles ceased, Adam released me and pulled me up to his chest to hold me tight, he let me catch my breath, and enjoy the feel of his body pressed tightly against mine.
“Good morning, love.” He said, still breathing a little hard.
“Good morning, Adam.” I whispered. I closed my eyes and savored the feel of him for a moment.
While he showered, I went to brush my teeth and finish up breakfast. He kept me in a place where I craved him. Just under the surface, no matter what I was doing I was always ready for him.
I was still buttering his toast when he sat down and took a sip of his juice. Today I’d made pineapple, mango, carrot juice.
“Where’s my paper?” Adam asked.
I looked next to his place setting surprised to see that the paper wasn’t in its usual place.
“I’m sorry Adam.” I said and lowered my eyes, there was no excuse for that kind of lapse.
“You’ve been forgetting a lot of things lately.” He said and took a sip of his tea.
“I’ll go get it for you now, everything else is ready.”
“I’ll read it online later.” Adam turned to his toast and started eating.
I pushed my food around on my plate waiting for Adam to finish his breakfast so that I could clear the dishes. Was he right I wondered? We’d talked about forgetfulness as a form of passive-aggressive defiance. I honestly didn’t believe I was resisting his dominance. We’d joked that I thrived under his thumb.
“At four thirty turn off the air conditioning in the dining room, strip down and wait for me in the corner.” He said after he’d finished his breakfast.
“Thank you Adam.” I’d worried my toast to crumbs, but my appetite was gone.
“Eat Gracie,” he said.
Hours later, I was standing naked in the corner of the dining room pressing a penny to the wall with my nose. I could hold this position for a long time, but it wasn’t comfortable. The August heat made the air in the room heavy and humid. Sweat dripped slowly down my body.
I’d been in the corner for a couple of hours sweating and thinking. In the beginning of our relationship, I struggled. I thought that the ability to take a solid beating, being constantly available, and calling a dominant “Sir” or “Master” was the same as submitting to him.
Adam wanted something different. He was much more interested in controlling me on every level that causing me physical pain.
I’d had to learn how to surrender to Adam. Over time, Adam transformed the stuff of everyday life into rituals that bound me to him on the deepest levels. Somehow, in that process, my life became the best it’s ever been. I’ve been so happy that I thought that I could ignore a part of myself that I didn’t like anymore.
Adam had been a friend before we started dealing with each other as master and slave. Back then I was a painslut-- not really a submissive. I just said I was to get my ass beaten. I had given myself as a plaything to a Dom who liked to be called Lord Michael.
I’d come to dread his calls, but I was still attracted enough by his sadism that I went to him whenever he called. We met on a dating site that catered exclusively to the BDSM crowd.
“Meet me at 2920 Tanglewood.” The recording said.
He would be really mad if I was late so I hurried the short distance hoping that I would beat him there.
Lord Michael was already there when I arrived. He was in the lobby talking to someone, probably a client. I waited off to the side for him to finish.
“Hi Sir,” I said when he approached me.
“Hold this,” He said.
He uncurled his djambok from the duffle bag he carried and marched me through the lobby with it exposed. I tried to minimize it as much as possible.
“Strip,” He said as soon as I closed the door behind me.
“Yes Sir,” I said.
I stood before him naked, shivering in the chill waiting for him to complete his inspection of me.
“Your cunt is stubbly, and that ass is still too fat. How many times did you go to the gym this week?” Lord Michael said.
“Three Sir,” I said.
“Next week make it five.”
“Yes Sir.” I said in a very small voice.
“You’re lucky to have someone like me take an interest in you.” He said.
That was my cue to recite the affirmation he’d given me to memorize.
“Dear Lord,” I said. “I humbly apologize for the time it is taking me to reach the realization of unconditional submission to you.”
“Why?” he prompted.
“I need you. I need to please you.”
“What are you?” he said.
“I’m nothing, except what you make me. I was nothing before you and I would be nothing without you.” I said.
I lowered my head to hide my relief that it was over. His punishments for not saying it just the way he wanted to hear it were severe.
“Good.” He said.
The collar he snapped on to my neck had the word slut pierced through it in shiny metal studs. He liked to walk me through the mall wearing that thing. We would go through the stores with him picking up things for me to buy him.
All the while I was terrified that someone I knew would recognize me. That collar brought back all the shame, fear, and humiliation of those walks.
“Brace yourself against the wall.” He said.
He slipped the ball gag over my head and buckled it in the back. Sometimes he just menaced me with the djambok because he knew I was afraid of it. Lord Michael had scarred my thighs with it already.
Breathing hard through my nose I pressed my hands into the wall gathering my strength to take the sting of the cane or the blinding pain of the djambok. If Lord Michael were feeling generous he would start slowly.
The first strike of the djambok brought tears to my eyes, but I blinked them back. I didn’t want to give in to him.
The sting of the heavy, rubber whip made me scream into the gag every time it bit into my shoulders, ass, and thighs. I held on to my tears until he got tired of waiting for them.
Djamboks don’t make a lot of sound flying through the air the way a cane might make that ripping noise. I never had any warning that a blow was coming until it branded my thigh. I screamed and collapsed to the floor.
“Stop,” I begged through the gag holding out my arms and shaking my head frantically.
He didn’t stop. He used just the tip of the djambok to land hard, burning shots on any exposed flesh even as I curled into a ball to protect myself.
My tears flowed freely now there was no defiance left in me. I tried to crawl into the corner but he followed me raining fire on me with the djambok. I don’t know how long I lasted before everything went black.
I was alone when I woke up. My throat was raw and it hurt to swallow. For a few seconds I couldn’t figure out why I was in this strange room.
Everything came back when I moved to get up. I looked down. I was bruised black from my breasts to my thighs. Some skin was torn off in small patches where he struck the same spot multiple times. I didn’t even want to think about what my backside looked like.
“Lord,” I said.
I hoped he was just in the bathroom. The more sensible part of my brain knew that I was alone, but still I refused to believe left me.
Getting up was bad. Nausea and dizziness came so quickly I had to sit down before I fell down. I lay on my belly for a few minutes panting and fighting not to vomit.
When I was steady enough to try to move again, I didn’t try anything as ambitious as standing. I crawled over to my purse and dredged my cell phone up from the bottom of the bag. I sat there for a while and wondered who the hell I would call.
“Please, help me.” I said.
“What’s wrong?” Adam said.
“I’m hurt,” I said.
I told him the address and Adam came for me.
Michael started calling my cell the next day. Adam took my phone, turned it off and put it in the next room making it as far out of my reach as the moon.
Adam was angry with Michael, but I was furious at myself. I hated to admit it, but until that night the beatings Michael gave me satisfied a need that went deep.
Adam stayed with me for three days. He even offered to deal with Michael for me, but I needed to break with Michael myself. I wanted to put this stuff behind me and move on. I called Michael when Adam left my apartment.
“I don’t believe you have the nerve to call me after what you put me through.” Michael said.
“What?” I paced. I’d promised myself that I would stay calm.
“I’ve been calling you for days.” He said. “I couldn’t even stay home. My lawyer suggested that I go stay with a friend.”
“You saw a lawyer?” I said.
“Where was my email thanking me for the time I spent with you?”
“Maybe if you hadn’t runaway…” I said.
“I’ve had enough of your disrespectful attitude.”
I needed to sit down. My legs hurt and a headache was starting to build behind my left ear.
“I’m not doing this with you any more.” I curled myself into a ball on my bed and waited for the tirade.
“I gave you what you wanted.” He said. “I’m coming over.”
My grip on the phone tightened to the point that I thought I would crush it or break the bones in my hand.
“Don’t. I don’t want to see you. ”
“I know you’re not feeling well, otherwise you wouldn’t be back talking me.” Michael said. “I’m coming over, be undressed when I arrive.”
“Don’t come here.” I said, and then I hung up.
Michael called constantly for almost a week. He eventually sent me an email expressing his disappointment that I turned out to be a player not a real slave and he formally released me. What a joke.
I’d put myself at risk in the past. Now, I was messing up the best thing I ever had because I still craved the naked truth that comes with the pain. Tears welled up without warning. I didn’t want to want the pain anymore. Not if it would destroy what Adam and I had built together.
When Adam came in from work I was still crying quietly. He stood behind me and stroked my hair, soothing me. Adam held me from behind, one hand around my throat and the other cupping my breast kneading the hot flesh. I leaned back into his arms letting the penny fall to the floor with a little plink.
“I wasn’t honest…” I said, but he cut me off.
“Go upstairs and shower when you’re finished wait for me in my studio. You have 20 minutes.”
“Yes Adam,” I said.
I ran up the stairs hustling to grab my things and head into the bathroom. He wouldn’t tolerate a minute of lateness. My bathroom was a small room done in white tile and a matching suite of white porcelain with shiny chrome fixtures.
Adam had an Ofuro installed for my birthday last year. Normally, I took long soaks in the deep, Japanese style tub that unknotted every muscle.
Today, there would only be time for a quick scrub. I changed the showerhead out for the vaginal nozzle and slipped it inside me.
I changed to the anal irrigator to fill my colon with warm water and after a few minutes dash over to the toilet to complete my internal cleansing. A quick rinse and dry and I was ready.
There was something new in Adam’s studio. A wooden rod attached to a pair of thick chains hung from the ceiling. I wondered about it, but I could hear him coming up the stairs. I had to be in position when he opened the door. I sat back on my heels with my knees apart, my palms resting upturned on my thighs and my eyes cast down to the floor.
The rug’s abstract design featured waves of autumnal color; bronze, red, copper that played up the golden undertones in my brown skin. When the studio door opened, I was surprised that two pairs of legs walked in. I knew better than to look up unbidden, but I did tense. I knew Adam noticed because he patted my head as he walked past me to the cabinet where his toys were stored.
The other man just stood there eyeing me. I could feel his stare like a tingling touch following every curve of my body. Panic nearly overwhelmed me. Was Adam going to give me away? I held the position refusing to let fear control me. Back from the cabinet, Adam put his hands on my shoulders just as I reached my breaking point.
He walked around to stand in front of me; I leaned over and kissed his shoe until he raised me up and slipped a thickly padded, blindfold over my eyes.
For a moment I was alone in the dark. Then hands slipped a collar around my neck. There was nothing for me to do apart from accepting what he decided that I would experience.
I rose to follow the slight pressure on my neck when someone tugged the leash. They didn’t lead me far I felt the rug’s deep pile brushing the soles of my feet. A hand stopped me and another took my wrists and secured a leather cuff around each one. They did the same with my ankles.
My arms were attached to something solid over my head. I could turn my hands enough in the cuffs to hold on to the rod. I thought Adam must have been planning this for a while as I tried to steady myself against the adrenaline rushing through my body.
Hands ran up and down my legs separating them and securing them to something else on the floor. Searching fingers explored my thighs and ran along the lips of my smooth, wet cunt. I leaned forward toward the hand as much as the bondage would allow. A sharp rap on my thigh cautioned me to remain still.
The position stretched me out; the top bar was a little higher than I was tall, forcing me up on my toes. My butt stuck out like a target.
He pulled my nipples as though he wanted to see how far they would stretch. My head fell back and I pushed my breasts out both trying to escape the force and begging for more at the same time. My core flooded with wetness.
“Very sweet.” The stranger commented.
“She’s wanted this for a long time.” Adam said.
I was grateful then that I’d been blindfolded. I couldn’t look at them. They’d exposed my soul. I wouldn’t survive seeing disappointment or worse, disgust in Adam’s eyes. I believed that it would be better to just put the part of me I still thought of as the painslut away in a cell in the deepest recess of my brain where she could pace and rattle the bars without wrecking my life.
Clamps bit into my nipples then the areolas until my breasts felt heavy with the weight of the clamps. Hands brushed over my tortured breasts slightly twisting the flesh in the clamps sending little shocks of pain through me.
The first lash awakened every sense. I felt the individual strands of the flogger, the heat as my blood rushed to the surface of my punished flesh. I wanted to squeeze my legs together so that I could relieve some of the tension that was growing in my core.
He switched from flogging my back and ass to my breasts. The first strike rocked me back. The impact pressed some of the clamps deeper into my flesh and knocked others off. The pain of the blood rushing into suddenly released flesh tore the first scream from my throat. He kept flogging me methodically covering my breasts and my belly with fiery kisses.
My body glowed with heat, yet I wanted so much more. The flogger landed right on my wide spread cunt. The heavy thuds vibrated through my mound. It swelled, feeling huge like a ripe fruit.
I whispered, “please, please” over and over again. I begged for so many things: permission to come, to be fucked-- to be whipped harder.
“Wait,” Adam said.
His fingers grazed over the sensitized flesh of my breasts and belly teasing soft moans out of me, his hand traveled until he found my clit and stroked it with his thumb while three fingers thrust into me. I rocked my hips meeting his thrusts reaching for my completion.
“What do you want baby?”
“Please,” I said.
“Please, what?” he said and massaged my clit.
“Please,” I said. “Can I come?”
“Not now. I want to see what you’ve been hiding first.” He pumped his fingers in and out of my slick cunt.
I fought the urge to clench his had with my inner muscles. My orgasm danced just out of reach.
Adam slipped his hand out of my cunt and put his fingers on my lips. I opened to him and sucked his fingers.
“I’m sorry,” I said, apologizing for putting any part of me outside of his control.
“No more role playing.” Adam said. “Everything you are is mine.”
The blindfold came off. Blinking against the light, the first thing I could see clearly was Adam’s dark face. His full lips were set in a tight line. His brown eyes burned into mine and I knew that he wouldn’t accept anything less than my complete surrender.
He held a cane to my lips. I kissed it shivering with excitement.
Adam made a quick motion and the other man slashed me with the cane. I saw a burst of white light as the pain sliced through me. The cane fell again and again.
I hung forward in the restraints panting trying to breathe my way through the pain. The man caning me never seemed to pause. My ass and thighs burned.
The stranger moved around me and worked my inner thighs until my flesh rippled with the impression of the cane. He tore fresh screams from my raw throat when he caned first one breast then the other.
I shrieked in agony and exultation. Every strike was a burst of light and heat that seared through my consciousness burning away my pretenses.
I cried, I pleaded, I begged, but the pain never stopped blasting through me—completely engulfing me. I craved this. There was nothing left, but that truth.
I couldn’t resist anymore I let go of the guilt and shame I’d been carrying about craving the pain and rode wave after wave of energy that surged through me. This was what my master wanted nothing hidden, nothing held back from him. Painfully, slowly I pulled my head up to meet his eyes. Adam looked deep into my eyes and said, “Come.”
My body shook. My legs quit no longer able to hold my weight. An inarticulate roar of pleasure and pain seemed to fill the room. I jerked and twisted in the restraints in an attempt to ride the tidal wave of pleasure flooding my nervous system. I couldn’t contain it. The orgasm exploded out of me in a burst of fluids.
Through it all, the stranger never stopped canning my ass, tits and thighs stinging blows carried me through my first orgasm into a cascade of smaller orgasms that propelled me past pain into an endorphin fueled high.
I laughed as they lowered me to the floor.
“I didn’t know you were a squirter.” Adam said.
“Me neither.” I said between giggles.
“Let’s turn you over.” He helped me roll on to my belly. The carpet was rough against cane marked breasts.
He gently stroked a cool salve on my chastened flesh. He explored every cut, every bruise. The lightest touch reawakened the pain and stoked my desire.
“Spread for me.” Adam said.
Groaning, I pulled my legs up bending them at the knees so that I was splayed open to him. I was wet, ready, and full of an incredible lightness--then I was full of him.
Adam pulled me up on to my hands and knees and the other one, the whip-hand, slipped his thick, black cock into my mouth. I latched on and sucked the cock that filled my mouth in unconscious rhythm with Adam’s thrusts. The wall of denial I’d built between Adam and me was rubble.
Adam leaned down over me and rolled my tender nipple between his fingers as he stroked in and out of my wet cunt and whispered, “Come for me baby, come for me.”
His command triggered an orgasm that arched my back and clamped my inner muscles tight on his cock. I was a power line overloaded with electricity. My heat overtook Adam and the other Dom and they exploded in to me.
Afterward, we lay panting on the playroom floor. I was warm sandwiched between Adam and his friend. I think I must have napped because I woke up when the stranger kissed my cheek and whispered, “I’ll be seeing you --soon” before he left.
Adam helped me clean myself up and brought the snacks I had prepared earlier. When we were done eating, Adam led me to his bed and held me close.
Lying there safe in his arms I finally got that Adam could hold and control me. I wouldn’t ever have to hide part of myself away from him again.
“I’m yours.” I whispered hovering on the edge of sleep.
“I know.” He said.
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