Livin' In the Country
Chapter 13
There may be those among you who will be disappointed that the
rendezvous between my protagonist and the Tolliver twins has been delayed or,
perish the thought, preempted by another plot line. You can imagine my feelings
on this matter! However I am at the beck and call of my muse, whoever she may
be. At this point in my tale it's a toss-up between Melpomene or Thalia; you
call it. She has decided that this ole country boy must now set out on a journey
of self discovery, another way of stating that this sorry excuse for a
protagonist has to get out of the comfortable rut he finds himself in. I can
only trust that you will bear with me in hopes that your patience will be richly
rewarded by its conclusion, which in all likelihood will feature all manner of
"not for prime time" couplings, paybacks and other deviant behavior that is now
so out of fashion in this red state country that the pundits claim we all now
live in.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Upon arriving at my castle, dragging my sorry ass behind me, I was
greeted warmly by my conniving wife, Rhonda, and her brood of children, some of
whom might even be related to me by blood, and not just marriage. It had been a
long and most frustrating weekend, made doubly bad by the phone sex teasing and
previews of cumming attractions offered by my dear life partner, who seemed to
have developed a streak of nastiness in her that was positively breathtaking as
well as dick softening. It would be a very long time before I would forgive her
mendacity when it came to the matter of the Tolliver twins. There is no doubt in
my mind that she and May were in cahoots when it came to setting the date for my
tryout, such as it was. The only advantage I seem to have gained from that
roughly forty-eight hour exercise in futility and embarrassment was the
introduction to Mimi Marlowe's mentor. This I was sure would stand me in good
stead at some future time.
My dear wife could not keep a straight face when she saw the condition I
was in. It was obvious that May had been on the phone giving Rhonda all the
juicy details of how she totally humiliated me. My lips and mouth felt funny,
but it wasn't until I saw my face in a mirror that I realized just how god awful
I looked. I had this ring of red around my mouth and my lips were swollen and
cracked. I looked like I had aged about ten years in one weekend. I vowed
vengeance on May and Rhonda, already beginnng to devise a plan that would turn
the tables on them both.
Things got even more out of hand when Rhonda declared in front of the
brood that I would not be on the receiving end of her affections until the sores
on my face went away and stayed away for at least another week. Then it felt as
if I had been stabbed through the heart when she informed me that she would not
be allowing me access to the Tolliver twins until she had personally given me a
clearance that I was well enough to have sexual congress with those twin
teasers. I got so mad I thought I was having a heart attack. Who in the hell had
appointed her the caretaker of morality and clean living? Then it sank in to me;
she and Mimi Marlowe had spent a great portion of the weekend enjoying the twins
and each other. I'm sure Rhonda now had an in with that woman that trumped any
arrangement Mimi and I had made previously.
It was then that I decided to go on the offensive. If Mimi thought she
was going to keep my former guests, Marie and Marty, and also renege on her
promise of access to the Tolliver twins, she had another think coming. They were
about to discover that what I may have lacked in deviousness, I more than
compensated for by my forthright belief in justice and the American way, not to
mention the freedom to pursue any strange pussy that crossed my path.
While I was at it, I also decided that it was time to find out just who
was who when it came to being in the family. I was pretty damn sure that Jack
was no kin to me, and as far as Tammi was concerned, it was a flip of the coin.
The other one, Glenda, the lesbian in training, could not possibly be the fruit
of my loins, so to speak. It was time to take a little trip down the road to the
nearby college of animal husbandry and see what I could scare up in the line of
DNA testing.
After eating dinner I felt the need to visit the land of Nod and so I
trundled off to bed like some worn out oldster who had just put in a couple of
pretty hard days doing the bidding of some extremely devious members of the
other sex. Rhonda took pity on my sorry ass and offered to give me a blowjob to
sort of take the edge off of things before starting another week at the feed
store. I declined with thanks, but the last thing I was in the mood for was
another woman, even my dear devious wife, handling my private parts out of pity
or something even worse.
Fortunately for me, my protogee at work was not deterred by my
appearance, and we enjoyed a very mutually productive and beneficial social
interaction. I had to admit that this one really took an interest in her work at
the company and was most eager to not only get ahead, but to give as much head
as was possible in the name of boosting employee morale. I was planning to soon
promote her to be my personal assistant. She already had a good handle on the
job qualifications and had demonstrated a high level of skill in the more
important aspects of the position.
I sometimes have problems remembering names, which a fella once told me
was an effort on my part to prevent myself from knowing them for reasons that
were not obvious or trying to prevent them from knowing me. The one thing I do
remember about the conversation was that it gave me a slight headache and I
plumb forgot what that fella's name was. Perhaps this was what was troubling me
about my protogee; I was having the damndest time trying to remember her name.
I can tell you that she has a pair of tits that fill up her bra which is
a size 39D. I can easily recall that her left nipple is kind of pushed in a bit,
that her right tit is the bigger of the two, and that they both point out away
from her. I can remember that she has a little mole just to the right and down
about an inch from her clitoris. I know for a fact that her pussy smells like a
mixture of lemon and bleach and its taste reminds me of liver and onions for
reasons that I will never understand. I can tell you details about her pussy
that no one would ever be interestd in knowing. I know exactly where those two
cute dimples on her heart-shaped butt are with respect to that chocolate
starfish that I have had the repeated pleasure of breaching with my rigid male
member. However unless she's wearing a name tag that says "Hi, my name is...?",
I am lost when it comes to the matter of her given name.
In order to keep this little story moving along at a good pace, I've
decided that my protogee is named Pamela because in the right light and without
her clothing she sort of reminds me of that babe from the television show about
those lifeguards who all looked like movie stars and sure filled out those red
one piece bathing suits that never seemed to come off no matter what they were
doing.
My latest interaction with Pamela came at a time when I was in ill humor
from the various and sundry setbacks that I was experiencing across all fronts.
I had just been rejected by May on the grounds of age and lack of girth. I had
been grudgingly accepted by a woman old enough to be my mama, who insisted that
I needed to learn some new tricks in order to properly meet her exacting
standards. My wife, who I knew to be rather free with her affections, had put me
on her "not to fuck" list, a monumental insult to what was left of my male
pride. I had at least three children who I suspected had been fathered by other
members of my tribe. Finally I was now being deprived of what was rightfully
mine, to wit access to the bodies of the Tolliver twins, a pair of budding
beauties that were a once in a lifetime opportunity for fun and frolic on a
grand scale.
My boss was not one to let personal business get in the way of making
money. However I was able to somehow convince him that my protogee, Pamela, the
one in the one piece bathing suit, would be an acceptable one day replacement
for me and would also provide me an opportunity to evaluate her for a position
of more responsibility. My boss thought that to be a fine idea and even offered
to keep a watchful eye on Pamela as she went about her duties.
I did detect a twinkle in his baleful eye at my use of the word
"position", perhaps not the best of choices. Come to think of it we had been
trying out so many "positions" since beginning our little mentoring sessions,
that the word had lost its prime meaning. In my dictionary, which I am forced to
visit on many occasions as I pen this tale, the word position has about one
dozen different meanings. Unfortunately only definition 4b, which refers to the
arrangement of bodily parts has any significance at present.
I am living proof that even a blind hog can now and then find an acorn.
This was driven home to me as a result of my visit to the Wellington Wadsworth
School of Animal Husbandry, an imposing title for a set of rather rundown
buildings located next to the barns, corrals and pens for the various animals
that were the laboratory for the work carried out at this institute of higher
learning. I had been given the name of one of the faculty and we engaged in
conversation on the matter of obtaining DNA information about certain members of
my immediate family.
It was quickly apparent that I had come to the wrong place for such a
service. However he just happened to know a fellow member of academia (that was
what he called the organization that both he and this other fellow belonged to)
who was doing a study of family relationships in the rural environment. He gave
me his name and phone number and told me to mention that he had recommended that
I speak to him about participating in this little study. I thanked him profusely
and departed, feeling that I was now well on my way to finding out the truth
about all those damned kids that seemed to be placed on this earth only to vex
and prevent me from attaining my true station in life. I knew that deep down I
was put on this earth to be the master of at least a dozen nubile young ladies
all eager to support me in the style that was my natural birthright. Without
giving away too much, I will only state that my meeting and subsequent
relationship with Professor Philo Plankton MD, PhD, HHD, LLD, and any other D
you care to mention was one of those watershed events in my life.
Returning earlier than I had anticipated did not prove to be a very
smart maneuver. It seems that my boss and Pamela had been involved in a series
of lengthy meetings during my absence. It also seemed that nobody was minding my
part of the store, which had led to a number of incidents, none of which were
deemed to be of a positive nature. It was well after normal hours before I
managed to clean up the mess that had developed.
Returning home I was immediatly asssailed by my dear wife and two of her
children, Tammi and Glenda. It seems that Jack, her eldest boy, had begun to
switch his interest from Tammi who he had been nailing without fail every time
he had the opportunity, to his younger sister, or perhaps half-sister, the
budding lesbian princess, Glenda. I was hungry and still smarting from the
weekend fiasco and now the revelation that my protogee had opted to become the
morale builder for the owner of the company. So I yelled at everyone I could
find and told Rhonda that she better be putting some dinner down in front of me
in about ten seconds or I was going to turn her and that band of bastards out
into the woods where they truly belonged.
Things got real quiet at that moment. Rhonda just stood there with her
pie hole wide open. The brood stared at their mama and then at me. As they say,
this was one of them there moments of truth. This old country boy had been
pushed to the wall and he was about ready to start pushing back.
Finally Rhonda closed her trap; she had barely missed swallowing the fly
that had begun to take up housekeeping in that big mouth she possessed. She
bustled and hustled around the kitchen and in a short time I was facing a mound
of food, some of it even palatable. I gave those kids of hers a baleful look and
they scattered like chaff in a high wind, leaving Ronda and I to share the
stage. She sat there in silence as I polished off dinner, hardly tasting it. I
was in no mood for conversation, so I got up and headed for the porch to sit and
think.
There is a lot to be said for country life and ways, but there are also
limits to what one will endure to enjoy the benefits associated with livin' in
the country. I had hit the wall. What had been happening in the past month or so
was no bump in the road, it was more like a sink hole, and that thing was
swallowing me up. For the first time since I met Rhonda, when she was just a
slip of a girl going around a hundred pounds less than her current self, I began
to seriously consider whether I still wanted to put up with her little foibles
and nasty disposition. It was slowly dawning on me that I was becoming some kind
of entertainment for her and her circle of strange friends like May.
Those thoughts led me to consider a question I'd never asked myself. Was
I actually capable of siring children? Had I ever been capable of fathering
anyone's child? I started thinking of all the ladies I'd dallied with over the
years; none of them had ever come back accusing me of getting them in the family
way. I had always attributed this non-event to the code of the country, perhaps
I'd been kidding myself all these years. There was only one way to find out, and
that was something else I had to add to my list of things to do.
My rather contrite wife was waiting for me when I got to bed, offering
an olive branch dripping with pussy juice. I declined with thanks, and informed
her that I would be taking my leave from the premises for a yet to be determined
period of time in order that I may deal with a few obstacles to my continued
happiness as her husband and boon companion. She did not take kindly to this
information, but to her credit, she knew when not to argue with me.
I slept soundly that night and awoke refreshed and eager to set out on
this new adventure. However I did find the time to run Rhonda's oldest boy,
Jack, to ground and explain a few facts of country life and protocol to him. I
also threatened to turn him into one of those eunuchs he and his buddies often
joked about to each other, if he so much as laid an eye on either of his female
siblings in my absence. I cracked him across the head and shoulders a few times
to make sure he understood the seriousness of my declaration.
My next stop was to visit the feed store and inform my boss that I was
taking a leave of absence to take care of some personal business. He was a bit
taken aback at this sudden turn of events and inquired if loosing my assistant
had anything to do with this request. Ever the company man, I assured him that
nothing could be further from the truth, biting my tongue as I delivered this
statement. I spread it on thicker by commenting that I felt that Pamela, or
whatever her name was, could ably fill in for me while I was dealing with this
pressing personal matter. Those prevarications being said, I made my departure
and headed for the bus depot to begin my journey to see Dr. Philo Plankton.
(To be continued)
